Intellect and Logic
Present
Phil Boyce answered the door chime finding Chris standing in the hallway.
"I know it's late. May I?" he asked.
"As long as you're buying," Phil remarked.
The Captain held up a bottle of amber liquid.
The doctor squinted at the label. "That'll do." He waved Chris inside, retrieved two glasses then gestured to a chair.
With drinks poured and first sips savored Chis broke the silence, "You've been unusually subdued since the shuttle mishap. Which is worrying."
"Oh … Uh … Well … Hmmm." Another pause. "I feel somewhat responsible for the accident." Crashing wasn't the romantic date we had planned for you two, the doctor added in his thoughts.
"Predicting the shift that intensified the radiation field wasn't possible," Chris gently reminded. "Blame is unwarranted. All the senior officers agreed with the plan. If there had been any indication the survey mission could turn hazardous, I never would have approved An … I mean Aalin coming along."
After taking a long drink of whiskey, Phil spoke as if talking to himself, "I was so keen on it. So confident the time alone would help you. Should have urged more caution rather than cheerleading the expedition. Your number one medic didn't serve you well."
Phil's words felt out of context to Chris. Rather than respond he patiently allowed his friend the space to vent.
"None of us are fresh-faced ensigns, we know this far from home the benign can turn deadly. Hard to fit a normal life in between those cracks. Life in space shouldn't preclude all the intangibles others enjoy. We deserve them, don't we? I mean I've had them, or more precisely the one. You should too." The doctor stared into his glass before muttering, "Shuttle mishap? Bah. You are the captain of understatement at times. Hell of a way to earn a living by the way, testing unproved spacecraft. How many times did you walk away from a wrecked ship?"
"Numbers are unimportant. That was my job."
"Just how many lives do you think you have Chris? You're well past a cat's nine."
The remark further sobered Pike's contemplative mood. Aalin's words from earlier about the landmines between them still echoed in his head as well as her sad, overwhelmed expression when she said them.
"You know why I play match-maker?" Phil continued his rambling. To Chris, it felt like the doctor had swerved the conversation in an entirely new direction.
"I'll tell you why. But first a refill." With his glass topped off Phil said, "Even when she was too weak to get out of bed, right up to the end, Rachel continued nudging people together. Of course she was infinitely more subtle with it than I. Didn't matter to her if the relationship was acquaintance, friendship, weekend of intense sex, or lifetime partnership. In her eyes, the important bit was the connection. That was one of the many lovely things about her. Continuing this legacy keeps her close to me."
Chris nodded. His expression was sympathetic. "I'd like to have met your wife."
Phil lifted his drink in a silent toast. "I know what you're thinking; yes, I am a romantic. Love at first sight. Soulmates and all of that. Oh, I know you don't believe in either, which is a damn shame, it's a good way to look at the galaxy. And surprises me as you are a man of faith."
This was an oft repeated debate between them. Chris glanced down, studying the floor.
"Do I detect a change of heart?" Phil prompted.
A brief headshake. Chris resumed eye contact. "No, not really. No. I don't think so. Who knows? I maintain love at first sight is in reality desire at first sight. And … well … now … I concede … maybe familiarity at first sight. Perhaps even an undefinable connection."
He paused. "But love? That's a choice, a commitment. A promise to care and cherish regardless of what you feel in the moment: affection, desire, anger, respect, craving, frustration, longing, dislike. That's why I say soulmates are made with a lot of hard work rather than born." He smiled and returned the toast. "To Rachel, she must have been a being of infinite patience."
Phil chuckled at the tease.
Chris continued, "And she was fortunate in her choice of spouse."
Phil's eyes moistened. "Thank you. From my standpoint, I was the lucky one."
Conversation fell away as they quietly sipped the drinks. At the end of their second glass Chris said in a soft voice, his tone plaintive, "You met your right partner in grade school, others meet a right person at the wrong time."
"Then, damn it, make it the right time Christopher. Grab the chance with both hands and use that dogged will of yours to make it the right time," Phil replied. The words came out as a demand.
ooooo
Chris stood in front of his bathroom mirror, towel resting on a shoulder. He scrutinized the reflection while shaving. A nap in the early morning hours, a run, and a long shower had chased away most physical signs of a sleepless, introspective night: red, puffy eyes edged with more pronounced fine lines, dark undereye circles, pale skin. Good enough to pass inspection from my keenly observant chief medical officer and Number One, he decided.
His introspection and Phil's final admonishment had spotlighted an evaded maxim. Inaction is prudent until it isn't.
A truth farcical on the surface, but not in practice. He had learned action for the sake of doing something can be detrimental. As can inaction when it masks hesitancy or insecurity.
His self-reflection had reminded even in the best of circumstances desire, like, love, however the feeling is termed, doesn't come with a certificate guaranteeing it against the tests of time and familiarity. Nor assuring it is genuine.
I've been behaving like a restive horse, he thought, refusing to advance, obstinately standing still when not moving backward or sideways. In other words, hiding behind the … assumption? excuse? aliens lightyears away are still manipulating my emotions. This stops today.
Aalin wasn't even a wish in my subconscious during the Talos incident. And I've never doubted my regard for the women I've been with since. He paused mid stroke and stared his reflection.
A tiny voice cautioned, You felt differently about them. Chris firmly batted away the thought.
Intellect and logic, that's what's needed. Apply intellect and logic to the problem. It's up to me to eliminate the barriers between us. I erected those and they are mine to tear down.
The path forward is resetting our courtship. To this point it's been wedged between high-stakes missions and crises, overlapped with personal struggle, and conducted mostly in public. We need a real date, a private one, with an atmosphere of closeness. With my focus undivided and care lavished on her.
The doors to his quarters opened and closed. Chris called out, "Mia? Coffee's brewed, help yourself. Be there in a jiff."
After scrubbing his face with the towel and pulling on a gold uniform tunic over the black undershirt, he entered the main living area.
Mia was in mid-sentence, "… I'm supposed to bring coffee to you." She pointed to her chest. "You know – Yeoman?"
"Does it matter?" he asked. This was an almost daily routine, one now a fond habit.
She rolled her eyes and handed over two PADDs. "The overnights."
While scrolling through the department summaries from the last two shifts he said, "Anything else?"
She shook her head. Then remembered to use her words. "That's the lot this morning."
"How are you doing?"
"In general or post-Talos wise?" Mia queried.
"Either. Or both," he replied looking up and giving her his undivided attention. "Especially Talos."
"I'm … okay. Better. Still mortified now and then they revealed my attraction to you." A pause. "Wow, I can say that without blushing. That's real progress. And no, I don't want a transfer to another assignment."
"If you change your mind," Pike stated his standing offer. One in place since returning from the surface of Talos.
"I know, it's granted. No thank you, sir." Mia put hands on her hips. "Besides, you can't run this ship without me."
"True," he replied with a dimpled smile.
"Briefing, fifteen minutes, in the ready room," she reminded.
"Very well. You should sit in on it as well. And then I'm taking the rest of the day off. Which means you are too."
"I've work to catch-up on," she protested.
"It'll wait until tomorrow," he countered.
"But …"
Chris pointed to his stripes.
Mia narrowed her eyes. After a brief standoff she nodded.
He chuckled. "That's better. Let's go."
ooooo
"Perihelion occurs in twelve point three days. Observation and close study of the orbital crossing of Dubhe and its companion star are one of our primary mission goals for this deep space tour," Spock reminded while addressing the ship's senior officers gathered around the conference table. He stood to the side of the large viewscreen in the ready room with hands resting behind his back. "At warp five, transit there requires a week. We are, as my mother says, cutting it close."
Pike nodded then changed the subject. "Results of yesterday's system checks?"
"Same as the prior day, the day before it, and the day before that. No anomalies. Clean as a whistle. Parfaite," Louvier replied.
Number One raised an eyebrow aimed at their Captain.
Which Pike ignored. "Other reports?"
"No injuries or illnesses in the past twenty-four hours. No inpatients," Boyce answered.
"Restocking of emergency reserves complete for consumables including water, food rations, plasma, and medicines, as well as other supplies and parts. Parts inventories damaged when the ship was sucked into the asteroid field, or used in the days following are replaced," another officer replied.
"We've no outstanding repairs or maintenance," Louvier chimed in. "Rather than twiddle their thumbs my juniors are constructing a Pétanque court. And rebuilding the still. You're all invited to the christening party."
Una tilted her head at the chief engineer. She took his bait. "If your staff is bored, a ship wide level five diagnostic can be arranged."
The corners of Louvier's mouth ticked up. Others in the room traded amused glances. Number One and Louvier would defend the other, back-to-back, to the death. And they delighted in pushing the other's buttons during the in between times.
She glared in his direction, an 'I'll deal with you later' stare, then turned to Pike. "Sir, it's time to leave. The gaseous cloud has stabilized and remains within the boundary of the asteroid field. There's nothing else to do here."
"We'll head out this afternoon," Pike ordered. "Next."
Lucero played an audio file. "Long range sensors captured this. Initial analysis suggests it may be a transmission rather than naturally occurring." She recued the recording synchronizing it to a visualizer, as it played the graphic highlighted sections with analogous yet subtlety differing wavelengths. "We washed it through the universal translator. That yielded little or nothing depending on the opinion of the scientist reviewing those results."
Spock took a chair at the end of table and rested his elbows on it with fingers steepled. "What you deem a linguistic phrase is more likely, and logically, a random yet periodic, naturally occurring trend."
"You say potato, I say potahto," Lucero retorted. Debates were frequent between Enterprise's chief science officer and her second. Spock had matured into a well-matched opponent. At times Lucero took a viewpoint opposite his simply for recreational fun, but this difference of opinion was genuine.
"And where's the romance in a naturally occurring trend?" Lucero questioned. "I prefer to believe in a voice from across the galaxy echoing in the darkness rather than a cold, impersonal wave ricocheting off the atmosphere of an exoplanet."
"But that is not log…" Spock countered before recognizing the tease.
Lucero permitted a split-second grin before composing a serious expression. "The repeated occurrence is … too … well, too neatly packaged to qualify as merely random."
Pike addressed her. "Send the recording to our linguist, have Anja … I mean Aalin comb through it."
Isak looked up from the PADD he'd been perusing. His eyes searched the room. The others assumed Pike's scrambling of names was a simple mistake. Isak suspected otherwise.
"That's all for now," Pike said. "Dismissed. Number One, please stay for a moment."
Isak remained as well, loitering in the back corner of the room while the ship's commander and first officer spoke. Chris turned everything over to Una explaining he was indulging in a rare a day off on board the ship. Before exiting to the bridge, she took the opportunity to point out this wasn't a rarity; it had never occurred in the many years they'd served together.
"Something on your mind?" Chris asked beckoning his second officer forward.
"Funny, that's my question for you," Isak answered.
"The ship's stable, it's been a whirlwind since the shuttle accident. This morning I decided …"
"I'm not referring to your day off," Isak interjected. "The slip earlier, when you misspoke, swapping names, Anja for Aalin … it felt … Freudesque."
Chris shook his head. "An alliteration confusion. A twist of the tongue. Nothing more significant. Which, I add, no one else noticed."
"The others aren't cleared for the Qua mission. They don't know what happened there," Isak gently reminded.
"You're making a mountain out of … well nothing," Chris' tone was crisp, bordering on annoyed. After a brief pause, he continued without the sharpness, "I'm okay. Really. I made a mistake that day which I can't change or fix. That's the responsibility I signed up for. I can make things right with Aalin. That's on my mind this morning. Not Qua."
Isak peered at his friend of many years, assessing, deciding. He nodded once. "Good. I'll get out of your hair then." Near the door he turned and said with a grin, "By the way, if your coif's still in place in the morning, you're not doing it right."
Chris snorted.
Isak chuckled as he left.
ooooo
From his Sickbay office Phil messaged Spock, Una, Louvier, and Matt: Team Christopher meeting tonight. My quarters. 9:00pm sharp.