ROOMBA

"Hello there Kota," Izuku said, holding out his hand. "I am Izuku Midoriya."

As Kota readied his kick, Mandalay, reading his mind, hurriedly said, "No, Kota, don't-"

Kota kicked. A metallic thump echoed through the forest as Kota hopped on one leg.

"Ow! Why is your ballsack so hard?"

Ragdoll gasped. "Kota, language!"

"Shut up! You aren't my mom!"

"You really shouldn't talk to your mothers like that," Izuku pointed out.

"Shut up!" Kota punched Izuku. His knuckles turned an ugly shade of red, and the crying redoubled.

"Please be careful," Izuku said, "I am very hard."

"I'll say," Pixie Bob said, leaning in close to Izuku. "Aren't you quite the snack?"

"I would not recommend eating me, as I am composed of multiple elements toxic to most human beings."

Mandalay groaned and pulled Pixie Bob off him. "We talked about this."

"Aw, come on! He's so adorable!"

"What about me?" Mineta cried. "Aren't I adorable?"

All four members of the Wild Wild Pussycats shuddered.

"Anyways…" Mandalay pointed across the forest horizon. "Camp is that way. If you want to eat lunch, you better hurry. It usually takes us three hours from here."

Kaminari panicked and said, "Quick, Izuku, become a bus again!"

"No riding inside of Midoriya," Aizawa cut in. "Or on top of him. Also, mind the drop."

"What drop?" Iida asked. "Are you having us jump off that cliff? That is highly unsafe!"

The rocks gave way in a massive landslide. Everyone landed in a heap at the bottom, and Izuku landed on top of everyone.

From the bottom of the pile, Mineta wheezed, "Can't… breathe…"

Once everyone freed themselves, Sero said, "We just have to make it to camp. How hard can that be?"

A stone leopard sprinted out of the woods. Izuku sliced it in half before it could gnaw Sero's face off.

"I just had to jinx us, didn't I?"

One horde of stone monsters later, Bakugo stood over the golems' broken shards. "Ha! These stone robots are no match for Earth's greatest hero!"

Jiro kicked a petrified and said, "Chill, they're just rocks. Let's get moving, I can hear more on the way."

"Ugh, this sucks!" Kaminari shouted. "Why can't we just have Midoriya carry us all there?"

"You heard what Aizawa-sensei said!" Iida waved his arms at Izuku. "No riding inside or on top of him!"

"What about underneath?" Sero asked.

Everyone looked at Izuku. Izuku thought for a moment and said, "That does not contradict the teacher's instructions, but I would need more metal."

Everyone's heads swiveled towards Yaoyorozu. Kaminari took a half-eaten hamburger out of his pocket, and Momo gave a resigned sigh.

As the Pussycats lounged in the hot springs enjoying sandwiches, a distant rumble caught their attention.

"Is that a giant Roomba?"

A metal disc, thirty feet high, toppled over trees as it steadily plowed its way towards the Pussycats' retreat.

From his own hot spring, Aizawa sighed and said, "I knew I should've been more specific."

499

Tiger was too busy riding the Izuku-Roomba to make an appearance this chapter.