RAMSEY

"Where's the lamb sauce?" Bakugo roared.

"We don't have any lamb!" Mineta shouted back.

"Then go get some! You expect me to make a kick-ass curry with these wimpy cuts of meat?"

Mineta ogled the chicken breasts and said, "They look fine to me."

"Then get your eyes checked!" Bakugo blasted the meat, and it didn't even budge. "They're fucking frozen!"

Bakugo stomped over to Ojiro, who was trying to slice onions. Bakugo tossed the misshapen chunks at Ojiro's face and asked, "Do you think this is a joke?"

"It's not my fault, the knife's dull."

"Then get it sharpened!"

"With what?."

Bakugo snatched the knife and slid it across Kirishima's hardened skin. His hand moved in a blur as he instantly sliced four onions into perfectly-sized chunks.

"See that? That's how you cut an onion."

Over at the big sauce pot, Bakugo dipped his finger inside and licked it. "Bland."

"I put the spices in there," Jirou said. "Tastes fine to me."

"You didn't even bloom them first!"

"What does that even mean?"

Bakugo upended the pot on the ground. "Nope. We're doing it over again."

"But we're all out of-"

Bakugo grabbed Yaoyorozu's ponytail and sifted through her individual strands. Once he had twenty hairs, he pulled on all of them at once. Bottles of paprika, turmeric, cumin, coriander, and sixteen other spices popped out of her cleavage.

"Catch them next time," Bakugo snapped. "The dirt's doing their flavors no favors."

After showing Jirou how to lightly brown the spices beforehand, he ran over to Kaminari's pot of rice. He popped open the lid and blasted it to smithereens.

"You didn't even wash the rice!"

"Why would we need to? It's going in the water anyways."

"You are a disgrace to this nation and your ancestors. Now shut up and add some cumin seeds and cloves this time!"

As Mina poured out glasses of water, Bakugo sipped one. He smacked his lips and said in a disappointed voice, "So dry."

"It's water! How could it possibly be dry?"

Bakugo set the water to boil over the stove. Then he ran over to the river, scooped up some sand, and blasted it into a fine powder in his hands. He dumped the remains in and held the boiling glass against Todoroki's icy side.

Bakugo sipped. "Now that's a glass of water."

"Let me try." Mina's eyes widened. "Wow, that's good. I didn't even know water had a flavor!"

Once dinner was served, Sato asked, "Hey Bakugo, why did you learn how to cook?"

Bakugo held up his bowl and grinned. "Robots can't taste."

Izuku threw his own curry, bowl and all, down his throat. Kacchan cackled and said, "That had half a cup of pure capsaicin in it," Bakugo said. "No human could withstand that amount of heat. That proves it's a robot!"

Mineta took his own first bite, and his face instantly turned red. As Mineta ran for water, Sero said, "Whoops. Guess I mixed up the plates."

500

The past two days have been rough, so that's why this is a day late. Hope you enjoyed the drabble!