TWOSDAY

Ojiro blew up balloons shaped like 2's and Sato took a 2-shaped cake out of the oven while Bakugo boarded up the dorm building's windows and stockpiled shotguns in every room.

"Yo, Bakugo," Kaminari said, "I think you're getting carried away with that."

Bakugo grabbed him by the collar and throttled him. "It's the day of reckoning. The start of the apocalypse. Twosday."

"Isn't it Friday?"

Bakugo shoved his phone in Kaminari's face. "The Y2K people were on to something. They were right about the twos, it's all about the twos. But! One isn't enough! It has to be all twos! And guess what today is?"

"I just said it was Friday!"

"Every single time before now had a one or a zero in it. But now? Computers can't understand twos. Not like humans can. So! Before22:22, they'll wipe out all of mankind so our clocks don't overload their processors. Then they'll install some new machine time that'll have nothing but zeroes and ones in it!"

One of the balloons popped. Hearing the sharp bang, Bakugo whirled and grabbed a shotgun. "It has begun!" Bakugo shouted. "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" Bakugo shot a toaster and crushed the remains beneath his heel. "Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"

A gray scarf bound all of Bakugo's limbs. Aizawa walked downstairs, nursing a cup of coffee with #1 first-year teacher on it. "Wake me again, Bakugo, and I will have you cook my breakfast for the next month."

"It was plotting our demise!" Bakugo shouted through the scarf.

"I have hundreds of villains plotting my demise. A toaster does not scare me."

"It should! They're listening to everything we say, watching everything we do, analyzing all our weaknesses to rule us all!"

"That's Amazon's business model," Aizawa said dryly.

Izuku came into the room carrying a giant wad of '2' streamers. Bakugo stood over him and said, "When's the attack, huh? It won't be long before the twos overload your binary circuits."

Izuku extended his arms and stretched out the streamers. "Why would a bunch of 10's overload my circuits?"

"Ha! You even speak in binary, robot!"

Sero held up his phone, showing a time of 10:21 PM. "It's almost here!"

Everyone gathered around to watch the minute tick by. Bakugo's hand caressed the shotgun as the seconds ticked closer to twenty-two. Once the screen filled with two's, Bakugo held his breath. Then the phone showed a twenty-three. Twenty-four.

Bakugo roared, "How are they still functioning!"

Jiro pointed at the month. "Hate to break it to you, but there's still a zero."

Bakugo glared at the 02 mocking him with its binary-compliant digit. His glare shifted to Izuku, and he snarled, "You win this round, robot. But mark my words, mankind will-"

Aizawa's scarf gagged him. "I expect my eggs sunny-side up tomorrow morning. And if you use so much as a drop of Tabasco sauce, I will expel you."

498

It's still Twosday somewhere, right?