02:3 – Explanations – Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters they are the property of their respective creators. Please be aware that no profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.

The messages continued right up until the lunch bell rang. I would never have expected everyone to be so interested in such a simple thing as Shinji and I holding hands. I had even risked a glance back at him to see of he was suffering a similar fate only to find he was sleeping. Something immediately struck me as wrong with this situation, if he had been receiving messages, there was no way he would be resting like that, the constant beeping would be keeping him awake. That meant they were not messaging him. Why they were directing their questions solely at me? I lost my temper then, getting to my feet and declaring to the rest of the class that nothing was going on between me and Shinji and they best stop bothering me with their stupid questions, lest they taste my wrath. They all turned away, to afraid to meet my fearsome gaze. I sat back down, letting my thoughts turn elsewhere…

"Asuka?"

Hikari interrupted my musings; she was standing in front of my desk looking a little pensive. She caught my gaze with worried eyes, silently asking me if I was ok. Such a simple gesture, but one I truly appreciated. After my mother had died, so many people had asked that same question of me, yet almost none had any sincerity behind their words. Hikari meant everything she said; perhaps that's why we had become friends in the first place. Without another word, I got up from my desk and followed her out of the classroom, off to eat our lunches in peace.

For some reason, Hikari decided to head up to the roof today, leading me diligently up the numerous flights of stairs. Often the stooge trio or Ayanami would be up there, but as wonder girl was absent for the day, and I had seen the stooges heading to the cafeteria, we would most likely have it all to ourselves. On arriving, we found it empty, my prediction coming true. Having plenty of space to choose from, we went and sat by one of the many railings, a safety measure designed to prevent people from accidentally falling off the roof. We took out or lunches, Hikari had made her own, where as mine had been made by Shinji. We began to eat quietly. We spoke only a little during that time, there was a tension between us, like there was something unspoken looming, just waiting to be said. Finally, Hikari broke the silence by asking the question I was fairly certain had been on her mind all this time.

"Asuka…what really happened between you and Shinji?"

Even though I had expected it, I was still taken back by her question. In a way, I had never really believed she would ask me and in many ways, I had hoped she had forgotten about it entirely…

"Please."

In the face of Hikari's pleading expression, I knew I couldn't deny her. I hesitated slightly, thinking of where to begin the story…then, all of a sudden it came to me, they key to everything that happened summed up into three simple words.

"I kissed Shinji."

For a few moments Hikari did what could be described as a very accurate goldfish impression…her eyes were wide and her mouth was opening and closing with no sound coming out. I almost laughed then; it was just so funny watching Hikari, who was always so calm, acting like that. She remained that way for a few moments before shaking her head as if to clear it and looking at me expectantly. Sighing lightly, I told her everything.

First of all, I told Hikari about my date, she seemed somewhat disappointed when I told her the boy had turned out to be an even bigger dork than Shinji. She tried to apologise, sorry that she had set me up with him in the first place. I simply brushed it away telling her not to worry, I wanted to get on with the story, before I lost my nerve…I went on to tell her of how when I got back to the apartment Shinji was already there, playing his cello softly. Hikari was surprised by this, it seemed that neither of us had pegged him as a musician despite the fact he spent so much of his time listening to it. I tried to recount what it felt like listening to his music to her but found words failing me…maybe it was the sheer beauty of his playing, perhaps the one true reflection of his soul, that had allowed me to compliment him so freely.

"The time had actually passed rather quickly, despite the fact I could find practically nothing to do. When Misato finally called, we had finished dinner not long ago and I was just coming out of the shower. Shinji had told me that she wouldn't be home until very late…I felt jealous then, knowing she was out with Kaji. Something inside me snapped in that moment and in my want for an outlet I ended up kissing Shinji."

"Asuka…"

Hikari's face was stern, very much as it was when she was in 'class rep mode'. It was fairly obvious why she was looking at me that way.

"I know I used him in the worst possible way…yet, at the same time I discovered something about myself. Something that in some ways I wish I had never known…I actually like Shinji. It didn't kiss him simply because I wanted to use him as a way of alleviating my frustration towards Misato, I actually wanted him to kiss me. There were times when he didn't behave like quite such and idiot…like when he saved me from the volcano."

This revelation caused Hikari's face to soften, right up until I told her the part where he pulled away from me…

"I'm sorry…"

I shook my head; there was nothing for her to be sorry for, if she kept apologising like that she would end up like Shinji…no matter how hard I try I always wind up thinking about him in some way. To think that the meek little boy I met long ago on 'Over the Rainbow' would end up stealing my heart…it sounds like something straight out of some romance novel. I started to laugh, marvelling at the irony of the situation. Hikari stared at me worriedly, no doubt believing I had gone out of my mind. I reigned myself in there, recalling I had not yet finished the story.

I recounted the remainder of the evening and the night, blushing slightly as I told Hikari about my dream. She flushed too, no doubt visualising the images in her own mind but in her case, I doubt the other person was Shinji…more likely a certain other stooge. Finally as I got up to the point where we had arrived that morning a thoughtful expression spread across her face. For a while she seemed deep in thought, then she suddenly stood up before telling me she had 'something to do' and departing, leaving me alone on the rooftop. I stayed there for a little while, looking out over the grounds, lost in my thoughts…

"Why Shinji…why did you pull away…?"

The second bell rang, interrupting my thoughts, and signalling the ending of lunch now. Sighing lightly, I got to my feet and headed inside.

When I finally returned to the classroom, I was surprised to find Shinji was absent. At first, I assumed he was simply late in getting back to the classroom and would enter shortly. I took my seat as usual and Hikari started the usual routine immediately after, our teacher began droning on. Half an hour later, Shinji was still no where to be seen and despite myself, I was stared to feel worried. The rest of the afternoon slipped by and he didn't return, by the time class had ended, his desk was still empty. The other two stooges accosted me before I left, demanding to know what I had done to Shinji. I brushed them both off, informing them I had done nothing to him and stormed out. If those two didn't know where he had gone to there had to be something wrong…

I headed back to the apartment, expecting to find him there. I was surprised to find the apartment empty, apart from Misato. She looked at me, surprised; obviously, she had expected Shinji to come home with me…

"Asuka, where's Shinji?"

I felt my anger rising, a defensive reflex to cover my concern.

"How should I know? I'm not the idiot's keeper! He didn't even bother to come back to class after lunch, I have no idea where he is."

She frowned at me; clearly displeased with my behaviour, yet not scolding me. I knew she could see through my behaviour, that I was worried about Shinji as well. We stood there for a while, neither of us speaking as we both tried to resolve our feelings…suddenly we both heard the sound of the door opening, the same though going through both our minds.

"Shinji…"

He emerged from the hallway a moment later, seemingly fine. He was wearing a determined expression and there were large shopping bags carried in either hand. He paused momentarily when he noticed us, his expression turning uncomfortable, not doubt from the way we were both staring at him. I was lost for words, there I had been, actually worried about him and he was shopping all this time. I opened my mouth to chew him out, unfortunately Misato beat me to it…

"Shinji! Where have you been? Asuka told me you skipped the afternoon at school, I want an explanation mister!"

He hung his head low, refusing to meet her gaze. I was surprised when he remained silent rather than uttering his usual apology. They remained there for a moment, neither one speaking. At last, it was Misato who broke the silence, ordering Shinji to leave the shopping where it was and go to his room, indicating she would speak with him in a moment. She instructed me to order for a delivery while she talked to Shinji, listening from the kitchen I was sure I made out a few harsh words being said. When they emerged later, his face was downcast, while hers was still quite serious. I could tell by her eyes that she regretted having to chew him out, but because she was our guardian, it didn't seem she had a choice.

We ate dinner in silence. When we were done, Misato left for her room while Shinji gathered the plates. Seeing how downcast he was I found myself wanting to try to reach out to him, my anger having dissolved long ago. I walked over to the sink and stood beside him, picking up a clean cloth. He paused for a moment, silently querying my presence.

"If you wash, I'll dry."

After a moment he nodded slowly, putting the first of the plates into the sink…half an hour later the last of the plates were clean, dry, and put back in the cupboard. Shinji pulled the plug and allowed the water to drain away while I put away the cloth I had been using. I was about to head back to my room then when suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned round to face him and for the first time that evening, I saw him looking at me.

"Thank you."

I was surprised by his words, even more so when he leaned forward slightly and planted a gentle kiss on my right cheek. Without another word, he slipped past me, heading off in the direction of his room. I stood there for a while; shocked by his actions…I had never expected him to kiss me. Finally, I too exited the kitchen, heading to my bedroom, a small smile upon my face.

I woke the next morning from another of those dreams, although thankfully it was far less…vivid than the first one. Still feeling rather groggy, I walked into the kitchen only to find that both Misato and Shinji were already awake. He indicated that the shower was free; he had taken his earlier on. I stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door, switching on the water before disrobing. I hoped that the feel of the water against my skin would erase the memories of my dream, it had been hard enough facing Shinji without blushing during our brief encounter in the kitchen…

I reached my arm out, looking to see if the shower was hot enough yet, I recoiled sharply at the burning pain that ran up my arm. The water was boiling and the brief contact had burned the sensitive skin on my arm. Within moments, Shinji was knocking on the door to the bathroom, no doubt summoned by my cry of pain.

"Asuka? Are you ok?"

I smiled a little at his concern for me, even if I was currently confused about our relationship it was nice to know he cared if only in some small ways…he knocked again, sounding more worried. I realised then I hadn't yet replied to him. I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off when Shinji spoke again.

"Asuka? I'm coming in…"

I was so shocked by this I found myself unable to find my voice to protest. Never, would have I expected Shinji to do something so bold. Luckily for me, part of myself remained aware of my present situation, grabbing a towel to wrap around myself and at least cover the majority of my nudity not a moment to soon as just at that moment Shinji stepped inside.

"Asuka are you…ah!"

His eyes widened when he saw what state I was in, his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out. If it hadn't been quite so embarrassing, I would have laughed at how funny he looked that way. Once he got a hold over himself he turned away, I had caught a glimpse of his face as he spun, it was crimson.

"I'm sorry…"

For once, I didn't mind his apology; he had almost walked in on me naked after all. I tied the towel tightly around me before walking over to him and shoving him out of the room. He protested a little at my treatment of him, something else I wouldn't usually have expected him to do. Once I finally got him out of the bathroom I closed the bathroom behind and leaned against it with a sigh…that had possibly been the single most embarrassing moment of my life.

I checked the shower once again, more carefully this time only to find that it had now settled down, cooling to the right temperature. I dropped the towel and stepped inside, finally losing myself into the feel of the water even though the images of Shinji never quite left my mind.

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. In answer to your question, yes, it is my intent to do the whole story this way. Flicking between the POVs of Asuka and Shinji. However, I will also be using POVs from others in some chapters but as it looks at the moment, I will not be using a narrative one. Hope that answers all your questions for now; look forwards to seeing you all again next chapter.


Till next time,


Hououza

Chapter preread by That Other Guy