"I can't fucking take this anymore!" Munkustrap yelled as he paced to and fro angrily, tail lashing whip-like behind him. The Tugger, amused, lounged nearby as he watched. "She's been back at the 'yard for three years now, and she still freezes every time I try and hug her. A freaking -hug- scares her!"
Tugger waited until the silver tom had finished venting before speaking. "So end it." He grinned as the Second-in-Command froze and stared at him in shock. "You've given her more patience than any other tom in the yard is capable of. If she can't understand that, then she's not worth your time."
Munkustrap still looked as though he couldn't believe his ears. He had been with Demeter since she was rescued from Macavity...well, he tried to be with her. It seemed like the gold-black queen clung to him for protection, but when Munkustrap would attempt to take it any farther than that, Demeter would be gone in a heart-beat. Maybe that's all she wanted from him...protection from Macavity; maybe she wouldn't ever love him like he tried to love her. "You know Tugger, I might just do that."
The more he thought about it, the more it actually made sense; Demeter had never really done anything for Munkustrap in return for his protection and his attempts at affection. Every time he so much as looked at another queen, Demeter would be furious with him for days. That had been the only sign Munkustrap ever had that Demeter thought of him as more than just a protector. She expected him to come to her on his knees and beg for forgiveness, something that Munkustrap had regretfully done more than a few times in the past.
How had he even become so attached to her in the first place? She had been like this ever since her encounter with Macavity, and didn't show any signs of improving in the near future. And it would only get worse if Munkustrap did end their relationship, and he knew that would make him feel guilty no matter what. Perhaps that was why he hadn't broken up with her earlier- guilt.
"Munkustrap?" Demeter's voice timidly came from behind him, interrupting his thoughts.
"Yes, Demeter?" The silver tom replied, his voice automatically becoming calm and pleasant.
"Will you walk me to my den?" Dutifully, the tom rose and offered her an arm he knew she would refuse. Sure enough, Demeter shied away, choosing to walk just out of his arm's reach. Once they finished the short walk to the queen's den, the gold-black queen murmured a thank you before entering her domocile. Munkustrap was just about to leave when she poked her head out. "Munkustrap, will you stay and guard me tonight?"
Munkustrap thought about this for a moment. She wouldn't let him in her den, let alone the large cushion she used as a bed, that much he knew from experience. The golden queen expected him to stand outside in the cold all night. "I'm sorry, Demeter, I need my sleep. You'll be fine; Alonzo's on patrol now." He could hear her go back into her den, and then start crying. Somehow, that didn't bother Munkustrap as much as it usually did when that happened.
It did later though, as he finished his patrol of the yard in the early morning, long before any of the other Jellicles were up. After finding Skimbleshanks to relieve him, the silver tom elected to lay up on the bonnet of an old, rusted car rather than go back to his den and catch a few hours sleep before his other duties began. The Tugger had suggested he leave Demeter; he had been more than fair, more than patient with her and it had gotten him nowhere. But he knew Demeter would be greatly upset by him leaving her. Did that mean she had feelings for him? Or would she just be upset because she thought that he would no longer protect her?
"My, we're awfully thoughtful for such an early hour, aren't we?" a deep voice, practically purring in its smugness, said from somewhere behind the silver tom. Munkustrap recognized the voice immediately and whipped around, hackles raised.
"What're you doing here, Macavity?" Munkustrap demanded, noticing how the tall ginger tom was only a few feet away from him. How the hell had he managed to get so close?
"Merely observing," Macavity replied, perfectly nonchalant. He smirked. "That's not a crime, is it?"
"You're trespassing on Jellicle territory, and you know it."
"But I thought the tribe was open to all street-cats to become members," Macavity countered with a mock-pout. "Why can't I join your little tribe?"
"You lost that chance when you raped Demeter," Munkustrap growled. There was a short silence, broken by an amused chuckle from Macavity.
"And I suppose she never told you the rest of the story, now did she?" Macavity smirked, taking a step closer to Munkustrap, towering over him. "She never told you why I raped her." Macavity realized that despite himself, the other tom was listening, and continued. "You think that she used to be perfect before; nice, friendly, and certainly not paranoid. In truth, she hasn't changed much since before I had my way with her." He paused, allowing another small smirk. "Like many cats, she has a tendency to over-exaggerate."
Munkustrap raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "How would you know how she was before you catnapped her and raped her? She was living in the 'yard and went to her humans every night."
"Is that what she told you, Munkustrap?" Macavity smiled condescendingly, revealing long pointed fangs. "She was with me all those nights. We were dating." He chuckled, noting the surprise that Munkustrap couldn't keep hidden. "And like you, I was very, very patient with her. But when I lost patience, I took what I deserved and left her." Both tom's ears twitched simultaneously, hearing Demeter calling for Munkustrap. "I must get going. As much as I enjoyed our little chat, I wouldn't want to frighten your 'lover'." Macavity said, before disappearing and leaving Munkustrap wondering whether the ginger tom's parting words were mocking or regretful.
"Munkustrap... Macavity's here. I can feel it." Demeter whimpered, climbing up the car to sit next to her protector.
"It's alright, Demeter," Munkustrap replied, "I've chased him off again." He put his arm around her shoulders automatically, knowing that she was too scared of Macavity at the moment to be scared of him. Munkustrap recalled the ginger tom's words. "Demeter... you know I love you, right?"
"Yes, you tell me that all the time," the golden queen replied absently, still looking around for any sign of Macavity.
Munkustrap sighed as he watched her. "And you know that I have never done anything to hurt you, and that I never will, right?"
Demeter looked up at him suspiciously. "What's this all about, Munkustrap? Why are you asking me this?"
"Because..." Munkustrap hesitated, knowing that she would get mad at him if he didn't chose his words carefully. And yet he always heard from the older tribe members that toms should be able to share their feelings. Feeling awkward, he continued, "...because every time I try and be close to you... you push me away."
"With all that I've been through, Munkustrap," Demeter replied, glaring, "it should be understandable."
"Yes, I know Demeter, and I've been very patient—"
"Well, obviously not patient enough or we wouldn't be arguing about this!"
"It's been three years, Demeter, and all I want—" Munkustrap couldn't finish, a paw going to his cheek where Demeter had slapped him.
"All you want indeed!" she yelled, climbing down off the car. "And all Macavity wanted was to rape me! You said when you rescued me that you would let me recover at my own pace! And here you are pushing me before I feel ready. Maybe you were lying about never hurting me, too!" Demeter seemed to look at Munkustrap in a new, more sinister light. "Well, I'm not going to let you or anyone else hurt me ever again!" With that, she stormed off to go have a good cry on Bombalurina's shoulder.
Munkustrap was dumb-struck, his paw still at his cheek. No matter what he did with that queen, she always got mad. Demeter was the one doing all the pushing in their relationship, unfortunately she was pushing him away.
Out of nowhere it seemed, Munkustrap could hear Macavity's words; 'I took what I deserved and left...' Munkustrap shook his head. He didn't want sex, necessarily, just some sign of affection from Demeter that wasn't brought about by her fear of Macavity. Maybe he was pushing her... if Macavity and Demeter were dating for as long as the ginger tom implied, then they must have been very close. Demeter must simply be too afraid to let herself get that close to anyone again. He knew for a fact that Demeter could be very determined, and she was certainly doing a good job of sticking to her promise. The silver tom supposed that he really was at fault this time...
"Demeter, I'm sorry, really, I am!" Munkustrap pleaded with the door to Demeter's den, his voice a near-whine. "Please, forgive me!" he paused, waiting for a reply. "I was wrong, okay? You were right... I should have been more patient! I was pushing you, and I'm really really sorry. After all you've been through, it's perfectly understandable that you want to take things slow. I've been trying to be patient, but three years is a long time to wait for you to simply hug me."
He stopped, realizing that saying that probably wasn't the best idea. Looking around, in case someone was listening, he continued, hoping that Demeter would at least let him into her den so that he didn't have to plead in public. "Forget I said that! It's just because I've never been through what you have, so it's hard for me to understand completely. I'm sure that if I was in your place, I'd act the exact same way! Please Deme, please, I'm begging you! I love you more than anything, you know that! I'd give anything to be with you, anything! I promise I'll be more patient, please Demeter, I need you."
Munkustrap stopped, hoping to hear Demeter come to the door to tell him that she forgave him. That she would give him another chance. That everything would be okay again.
Silence.