EXECUTION

"I've decided what we'll do with our prisoner," All for One said.

Shigaraki dusted his last controller as another victory screen flashed for Izuku. "About time! Escort missions are the worst."

"We will kill him on live television, thus undermining the public's faith in heroes. The camera in the corner has a direct feed to every news channel. Give the world a show, Shigaraki."

Shigaraki grinned. "Yes Sensei."

The League gathered around the camera and introduced themselves, Shigaraki gave a long, rambling speech about heroes and unfairness dripping with abandonment issues and gamer references, and Izuku ate a leftover pizza box.

"Now watch, everyone," Shigaraki said as his hand crept towards Izuku's shoulder, "As the heroes fail yet another person in this crappy system!"

A light sizzle came from Izuku's shoulder. As the skin flaked away, a small chunk of Izuku's shoulder detached itself, decaying to dust while new metal grew in its place.

Shigaraki's eye twitched. "Spinner, cut his head off. There'll be more blood that way anyways."

Spinner tested the edges of his multi-bladed sword. "This one's for you, Stain!"

Spinner swung with all his might. The blade bent inwards, and Spinner dropped the hilt with a yelp. Blood dripped down his hand. "Crap, I tore a claw!"

Shigaraki stared at Dabi. Dabi sighed and said, "I just got my staples replaced yesterday."

"It's that, or we warp him in half."

The cup that Kurogiri was polishing shattered in his hands. Dabi rolled his neck and said, "Fine, but you owe me."

Blue fire engulfed Izuku. Seconds later, a blackened lump sat atop a melting metal chair.

"Well done," Shigaraki said.

Dabi smirked. "I don't cook 'em any other way."

Izuku shook himself, scattering the ashes coating him. Metal skin shone before new human-colored polymer seeped out like sweat.

"Kurogiri!" Shigaraki shouted.

"Nope!"

"I order you to-"

A portal opened behind the bar. "Can't hear you, bye!"

The glass Kurogiri was holding hit the ground with a sharp crash. Shigaraki sighed and said, "Let's try burning and decaying him at the same time."

Smoke wafted from Dabi's staples. "You better be right about this," he growled.

A ringing phone echoed through the room. Izuku said, "Sorry, that's me."

"How? You didn't have a phone!"

"I am a phone."

Izuku cocked his head and nodded to the words only he could hear. Then he said, "Mom said I need to go home now."

"You're not going anywhere!"

As Shigaraki grabbed him, Izuku ripped free of his bindings. Darting around like Gran Torino on cocaine, Izuku punched and kicked the League members until they stopped moving.

"My spleen," Spinner croaked.

"Has cancer, yes," Izuku said. "Would you like me to remove it?"

The door crashed open. All Might stood tall in a pizza delivery uniform nearly bursting from his sculpted muscles.

"Have no fear, for I am - not needed, apparently."

"Hello, All Might," Izuku said. "Are you here for the pizza party too?"

494

If only April Fool's came a few days earlier, I'd do this.

As All Might burst into the room, he knocked out every villain before kneeling by Izuku's side. Izuku coughed as his chest withered away.

"All Might… I don't feel so good."

On that note, I had something special saved for the hundredth chapter, but seeing that Izuku was too busy eating pizza to break himself out… it'll have to wait two more days. I'd post it on April 1st, just to mess with you all, but I'm not a psychopath.