02:16 – A place without end
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters they are the property of their respective creators. Please be aware that no profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.
After the darkness engulfed me I drifted back into the dark place inside my mind, cut off from all things outside this world. I had sat there, curled into a ball, rocking silently back and forth as I remembered what had happened to Toji, cursing myself for being so weak, for not being there to prevent the tragedy that had occurred. If only I had not been like this, if only I was not so weak then Toji would not be crippled for the rest of his life.
When a crack appeared in the darkness I barely noticed, not until the sounds of her voice drifted across. Startled I pulled myself up, running as hard as I could to the source, desperate to hear her words. Even as I reached the breech, three words filtered through, ones that would forever be burned into my mind, ones that I had wanted to hear for so very long…
I love you.
I cried then, silent tears rolling down my face. I wanted so badly to reach out to her, to hold her in my arms, but I could not. I was trapped in this place, bound her until I was allowed to wake up, until the chemicals in my blood were burned out and I regained fully consciousness. Even so, I still felt the need to give voice to the words of my heart.
"I love you too my Asuka."
Her voice began to fade and the crack slowly disappeared leaving me in utter darkness once more. This time however, I was no longer afraid. I found strength, even in this place, simply because I now knew she felt the same way. Warmth flooded through me as the cold of this place receded and slowly light pushed back the darkness.
It was then I became aware of another, a consciousness other than my own in this place, one that I had believe to be mine alone. Turning to face them I found myself meeting the gaze of one that was not human, one that we would call 'angel'.
"Why are you here?"
I have come to test you.
"Why?"
You are the chosen one, through you humanity shall be judged.
"Why me? Why must I always be the one?"
Because that is the will of the almighty and none my question the will of god.
"Then come, I will defeat you if I must."
No. A test cannot be held in this place. I will come now, so that we might do battle, so that I may test the strength of your heart
The angel faded then even as I felt myself being pulled upwards, away from this place, back into the waking realm.
I blinked once or twice, the light streaming through the windows of the hospital room hurting my eyes at first. I could hear birdsong coming from afar and at once knew it was morning. The angel had told me it would come soon and even though I did not know how I knew that even now it was drawing ever closer. As if to confirm my thoughts the alarms began to sound, the familiar claxon screaming into life.
In moments the room was alive with hospital staff, already they were moving Toji onto a portable bed, preparing to wheel him down to the shelter. A wheelchair was brought over for me, to take me there as well.
"No."
I could not go this time; this time I must pilot Unit-01 to rise to the challenge laid before me by the angel. I would defeat it and pass this test, no matter what it cost, Asuka must live on.
"Pilot Ikari…"
One of the nurses started but I waved her away, getting to my feet and heading for the door. To my side I noticed Toji sit up slightly and offer me a weak grin; I knew that even though he did not know why I was doing this that he understood.
I ran through the corridors of the hospital, navigating my way to the special doors, the ones that connected directly into Nerv. From there I could make my way to the control room and then down to the cages and Unit-01. There will be no arguments, no discussion; even my father will not stop me from doing what must be done. If I am the one chosen to defend humanity then so be it, it will not run away again.
I passed a number of people as I went, most stopping to stare, those that knew of my 'condition' shocked to see me here, dressed in little more than a set of hospital pyjamas. There had been no time to change; into something better, every moment I delayed was another one passed since the test had begun. I can already feel Unit-01, it's bloodlust echoing in my mind, calling for me to take it out there, to feel the joy of battle once again.
The complex shakes slightly and I know an Eva has been launched now, I desperately hope that Asuka is not the one. Despite her skills I know she cannot win and if she dies then this all will be for nothing. Running harder I can feel the pain starting but I force it down, I cannot afford to die yet, not while there is more to be done. Closing on the command centre I feel the building shake once again, that means the first Eva has been defeated, the other has been launched now that they know they cannot use Unit-01.
I burst through the doors, all heads turning to me, for the first time a look of true surprise showing on my father's face.
"Shinji?"
"Get me into Unit-01, I have to go out there!"
He finally recovered his composure somewhat, fixing me with his gaze.
"Pilot Ikari, return to the shelters immediately, you are not on active duty."
"No father! There's no time! Unit-01 will only accept me, don't you understand? I have to be the one to stop the angel."
For moment we stood there, our gazes held in a silent deadlock until much to my relief he acquiesced.
"Load the entry plug, configure it for Pilot Ikari."
Looking up at the man, his eyes once more turned back to the main monitor, his hands returned to their familiar pose I felt a small smile grace my lips.
"Thank you father."
As soon as I reached Unit-01 I was handed a spare plug suit by one of the techs. Thanking them with a nod I took it with me into the plug, discarding the pale blue pyjamas and pulling it on. Even as the suit tightened to my skin with a hiss of air, LCL began to rapidly fill the plug. One by one systems came online as Unit-01 sprang to life once more, the anticipation of battle resonating within our joined minds.
"Unit-01 launch."
I felt the g-forces tugging at me for an instant as my Eva was catapulted outside, out to the surface of the geofront. What I saw there chilled me to the bone, the crumpled for of Unit-00 and behind it, standing there like some form of grizzly monument, the silent form of Evangelion Unit-02, missing it's arms and head.
"Asuka!"
Rage filled my mind, all reason leaving me as I was filled with a single desire, a single need, to destroy the being that had dared harm the one I love.
"Die you bastard angel!"
The last thing I heard as the red mist descended and I was lost in my fury was a single word, falling from the lips of my father.
"Berserker."
In the moments that followed there was no separation between my mind and that of my Eva, for that brief time we were a single consciousness, intent only on our enemy's destruction. The ribbons lashed out at me but I intercepted them, fingers sliding through them as I took hold, ripping them free as I pulled the angel in close. At the loss of it's arms the angel howled in pain, trying to summon a blast that would throw me off. This I could not allow.
I plunged my fingers into it's face, forcing them deep into it's eyes as I wrapped them round the bone like mask and pulled, hard. It's face ripped away, cords of sinew and muscle still clinging on. I pulled harder, severing them entirely; it fell silent, already dead. Not satisfied I began to tear at it's body with my hands, a terrible dark hunger welling up inside me as I bit into it's body, began to consume it's flesh. A wave of power hit me as I absorbed it's S2 organ, the unlimited power it held becoming mine to command.
I used it to tear open the bindings upon my back, releasing myself from the prison they sought to hold me in. No longer would I be bound by such foolish things, now after all this time I would finally be free…
As much as I searched I could find no exit to this place, no way out into the world. Cursing my tormentors I screamed even as a thousand cables swept around my body and arms. I fought against them, struggled against the bindings that were rapidly holding me fast. It was still too soon, I still had not enough control over my new found power, I could not tap into my full potential. Knowing I had lost for now I allowed myself to fall silent and be carried away, biding my time.
Darkness took me and I felt myself falling away from Unit-01, our minds no longer fully joined. To my surprise I did not find myself in the entry plug once more but rather in a place I did not recognise. In the distance I could see a man and a woman sitting in the shade a large tree, a baby held in the woman's arms. I stepped closer, seeking an explanation of how I had come to be in this place, stopping when I recognised these people for who they truly were.
Before me stood my parents, father and mother, my infant self held securely in her arms.
"How?"
The image wavered and my father and the infant disappeared; only my mother remained.
Welcome home my son.
"Mom?"
Yes my son, I have waited for you for so long.
Not having word to express the joy I felt I ran forwards, into her arms.
"Mom!"
I flung my arms around her, even as she wrapped me in her embrace.
There is nothing to worry about now. We are together now…and we will never be apart again.
Something in those words, in the way they were spoken, chilled me to the bone. I not longer felt safe in her arms, instead I now felt trapped there, imprisoned. I pushed away, only to find the form of my mother was gone, replaced with one that still haunted my nightmares even now, the naked form of Unit-01.
Why? Why do you struggle? Do you not want to become one with me? To live in a place without pain or sorrow? A place without end?
Even as I felt it beginning to overcome me, to consume my mind I heard a voice, a voice I Knew calling out to me, calling to me from the other world, the world outside.
Damn you! You monster! Give him back! Give him back to me!"…Asuka…"
I felt my strength returning as I began to force the creature away, another's hands on top of my own, helping forcing it back into the darkness.
No! I will not return to that place! I will not!
I watched as the darkness enveloped the naked Unit-01 forcing it to finally release it's grasp. For a moment I looked into it's eyes, looked into the almost human sadness before it was finally gone. Turning I found myself facing that same woman from before, the one I knew to be my mother, no longer an illusion this was er true form.
"Go to her Shinji, this is a place that you do not belong."
I felt as if a thousand hands were pulling at me, tearing me free of this world. Even as she began to fade I managed to make out her final words.
I love you Shinji my son.
For what seemed the millionth time, a flash of light assaulted my eyes as I re-emerged back into the physical ream. I saw Asuka standing before me, the surprise barely registering on her face as I fell on top of her. I lay there for a moment, enjoying the feel of her body pressed up against my own, my own weight crushing me against her warmth. She was alive, and I was beside her once again, I vowed then I would never allow us to be apart moments before I lapsed once more into darkness.
When I woke it was in the hospital once more, Asuka sitting at my bedside. As soon as she saw that I was awake she flung her arms around me in a fierce embrace, once I returned with all my heart even as I caught her lips in a fierce kiss.
"I love you my Asuka."
She paused for a moment, hesitating until she saw the knowledge in my eyes and her fear began to fade.
"I love you too my idiot-Shinji."
We remained locked in our embrace until finally the doctors arrived and I was taken away to be examined. I was taken to a room where a large cylindrical machine was, a small slab extending out from it. I was informed that this machine was able to 'see' inside my body and would allow them to estimate what further damage had been incurred by my actions. I felt somewhat uncomfortable as the part I was resting upon moved slowly into the core of the large cylinder, not knowing what would happen next.
To my surprise I felt nothing more than a slight prickling of my skin, what surprised me more was the shout from the control booth.
"Doctor! Come quickly! You have to look at this!"
There were the faint sounds of movement from outside followed by hushed conversation. Something had obviously happened and with each passing moment I became more anxious. The slab moved once or twice, I assumed they were readjusting, before sliding out of the cylinder once more. When my head emerged I turned to the side to find Doctor Igaku standing there.
"Is there something wrong doctor?"
He shook his head, before indicating for me to follow him. I carefully pushed myself up off the bed, my bare feet contacting with the cold floor as I followed him out of the room and down the corridor. We stopped at a small office; one I assumed was his own. He ushered me inside and much to my surprise, I found that Asuka and Misato were already there.
"Please sit down Shinji."
I did as I was told, seating myself in the empty chair next to Asuka who immediately took hold of my arm. He paused to make a quick note on one of the papers on his desk before returning his gaze to us and beginning to speak.
"We have just conducted a full EMI scan of Mr Ikari's body…to our shock we have found no evidence of the rupture that we previous recorded prior to this incident. In fact, were it not for the fact I had seen it myself, based on this scan I would be hard pressed to believe there had been any such injury in the first place."
I paused for a moment, struggling to comprehend the significance of what I was just told. In the end it was Asuka who spoke first.
"So…does that mean he's going to be alright?"
"Yes…pilot Ikari is apparently fully recovered, we believe he will be able to return home immediately…"
Asuka hugged me fiercely even as Misato breathed a sigh of relief. There celebration was cut short however when he continued.
"…However, we suggest that pilot Ikari not do any strenuous tasks for a few days at least, he should get as much rest as possible. Shinji, that means no cooking or cleaning for at least a week."
"But…but…"
I could already envisage the mess these two must have made while I was gone; someone had kindly informed me that a month had passed while I was stuck inside Unit-01.
"Don't worry, he won't be doing anything but resting when I'm done with him."
Asuka's declaration unsettled me somewhat; it's double meaning leaving me slightly worried. If either of the adults had noticed this they made no sign as Misato spoke to the doctor a little more, discussing some other things. When at last they finished he stood and bowed, we did also stood and did the same before he led us back to the hospital room where my clothes had been left.
Wanting to get out of there as soon as possible I started to unfasten the jacket until I realised I was not alone.
"Um…Asuka, shouldn't you wait outside with Misato?"
She closed the distance between us, a predatory grin on her face.
"No chance Shinji. You're mine now and I don't plan on sharing you with anybody."
With that she leaned in close, pressing her lips against mine even as her hands continued to unbutton the front of the shirt, neither one of us noticing as it slipped off my shoulders and fell to the ground.
AN: First of all, allow me to thank you all for continuing to review and support this story, despite the erratic nature of my updates. I apologise for the shortness of the previous chapter but a combo of things meant I either gave you a short one or none at all and I decided it was the lesser of two evils.The reasoning behind the early arrival of the angel? I wanted to stop them from having too long to consider what was happening and force the next few events o occur before Asuka could lament for too long and Shinji could really have time to sort out his feeling. Hopefully this chapter fulfils that want as it's revelations have once moiré changed the nature of the game.
As to the spelling and grammar, well, my tying sucks and if Word doesn't catch any mistakes then I sure as hell won't, please take note of the message below, this one is NOT preread so expect there to be a few here and there, sorry.
Putting that aside, hopefully this weekend/following week might see a few updates for various stories, depending if I can keep the writer's block at bay long enough.
Till next time,
Hououza
02 is not preread.