Disclaimer: Don't own Gilmore Girls All-American Rejects owns Dirty Little Secrets the chapter title and inspiration.
"I was scared" Rory ran into the diner tears streaming down her face.
I asked and wanted an answer. I got it and now I don't want it. She was scared I'd leave her again, scared I wouldn't say good bye, scared that she would end up alone again, scared I'd hurt her again. How do you convince the only girl you've ever loved that the only way not to hurt her is to stay away? It's only been in the past year that I've managed to put my life together. I can't promise not to hurt her. I can try I always tried but I get scared too but instead of hiding behind safety I run.
"Say something" she pleaded.
What to say what is there to say. I could tell her that there's always a good possibility that she could be dragged into some kind of drug related fight. I could tell her that in his spare time my father was a drug dealer. I could tell her that that's pretty much all that's left of the great Mariano business. I could tell her a lot of things. A lot of things she needs to know but would she tell. Would I end up regretting telling her because she told thinking she was protecting me?
"Ok" I said.
"That's it Jess how about telling me there's nothing to be scared of" tears were falling again.
"While you've started lying I'm trying to cut back" I stated.
Her blue eyes drowned in sadness. It killed me to know that I had caused that. I had no right to act like that around her. I've had my fair share of mistakes. I've been arrested many more times than her. I didn't even graduate high school when I was supposed to.
"Jess talk to me" she cried.
"About what" I asked.
"I don't know you know what I did after you left what about you what had you been doing" she asked.
It was now or never. I was either going to tell her everything that I had found out from my father or I wasn't. I could just tell her that I had gone to California then New York then Philly but she'd probably want more. She always wanted more whether it was a book or just a conversation.
"Sit down" I motioned to a table. We sat down across from each other.
"So" she waved her hand towards me.
"Well I went to California to see my dad" I said.
"So what was he like" Rory asked.
"He sold hot dogs and drugs" I said truthfully.
"Oh" she nodded.
"Apparently my grandfather had driven the family business into the ground and now that's all that's left of it" I continued.
"Family business you mean like a mob type thing" she asked.
I nodded "Yeah pretty much he didn't really get into detail of what else he actually did but yea he was pretty much a mobster."
"Well that must have been a pretty big shock" she laughed "did you meet your grandfather?"
"Yea he flew over from Italy"
"Do you think maybe he got the business up off the ground" she asked.
"No"
"Did you like him?'
"Yea he was really cool offered to fly me out to Italy when ever I wanted I still talk to him"
"You should go to Italy"
"Yea as soon as I see that pig fly"
"I'm serious call him tomorrow how cool would it be to spend a summer in Italy"
"Rory I'm pretty sure we just got back together and I don't think it'll help if I leave and go to a whole other continent."
"As long as you say good bye and call me every once in awhile then it's fine"
"Are you trying to get rid of me" I asked "why do you want me to go so badly."
"Think about it Jess he flew out to California he offered to fly you there whenever you want he must have money which means he must have a job which means there's a slight possibility he got the business going again."
"You're just loving this aren't you?"
"Yes actually now let me live vicariously through you"
"Remember how well that worked with Logan"
"Jess"
"Come with me"
"What"
"You want me to go come with me"
"I have school"
"Are you taking a summer semester to make up the one you missed?"
"No I already made everything up but…"
"Good it's settled then we leave after the semester is over" I kissed her quickly "now let's get your stuff to your mom's."
"Uh ok"
"Don't tell her what I told you though ok" I said hoping she would be ok.
"Ok" she nodded.