02:18 – Mind Rape

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters they are the property of their respective creators. Please be aware that no profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.

We continued kissing, Shinji becoming bolder, slowly taking control away from me, making me bend to his will. He advanced slowly, forcing me to back up towards the bed; I felt the cool metal press up against the bare skin of my thighs for a moment before I was toppling backwards onto the warm sheets. The contact between our lips was broken for only a moment as he came forward, capturing my lips once again, exploring my mouth with his tongue. His hands moved down to my shirt, slowly unfastening the buttons one by one, fingertips tracing across my chest as it was slowly revealed.

As the last button came undone his hands moved upwards again, for a moment he bit my lower lip and pulling back slightly, making me arch to follow him, his hands quickly slipping under me to unhook my bra. He pulled it away, throwing it to the side before his lips left mine once again as he lavished his attentions elsewhere. So lost was I that I barely noticed his hands tracing their way down my sides, finger trailing along my ribs, the sides of my belly before sliding beneath the hem of my skirt and pulling it down.

Soon I was naked, save for my underwear while he was completely bereft of clothing. I could feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against me, demanding the satisfaction he so badly desired. Already his hands were in motion once again, moving to rob me of my underwear so that I lay naked beneath him. Once more his lips moved to cover my own even as he moved against me, claiming me in a single motion. Pain blossomed for a moment; soon overcome by the other things I was feeling, his hands moving in ways I never imagined he knew.

We moved together gently at first, slowly picking up pace until we lost all sense of tempo, bodies crashing together in a cacophony of want and need. Closer and closer we came to completion, a feeling welling up inside me that I could not name, threatening to consume me utterly. At last we reached that one single moment of completion and began to fall, my eyes fell open, expecting to look up into those familiar blue orbs…yet, what greeted me were not his eyes, instead orbs the colour of freshly spilled blood looked back at me, framed by hair the colour of a summer's sky.

I tried to scream but found I had no voice, my words stolen away by the hands grasping at my throat. I tried to free myself from him, to pull away, yet my efforts were in vain, he continued to over power me, slowly taking my breath away. With a tremendous force of will I reached up to him, caressing his check with my hand, silently asking him to forgive me. For a moment the madness faded and his was himself once again, unshed tears glistening at the corners of his eyes. He tried to reach out to me but was sharply hauled away, only to come to a halt a few feet away from me, hanging in mid air.

I could see them now, the wires that curled about his body, I watched as the tension in them changed and he was forced to dance, a puppet on a string. Soon it seemed that the puppeteer grew tired of him for his strings went slack, leaving him hanging there once again. Now, I felt my own body moving against my will, once again seeing those same filament-like wires as they pulled at my body. As he had before me I was made to dance wildly, moving at the will of the puppet master above. Soon it seemed they tired of my dancing as well as I too was left dangling, floating in the air along side my beloved Shinji.

At last it was that the puppeteer detached themselves from the shadows, face moving down into the light. At once my vision was filled by a familiar purple visage, strange alien eyes boring into me even as I felt the cruel grin on it's face. It turned slowly, wanting me to follow its gaze as it turned to regard Shinji, his head hung low, his eyes still closed. In a voice like a thousand souls screaming it spoke to me, one single word.

Mine.

I woke up sweating heavily, the nightmare still fresh in my mind. I turned my head to the side to find Shinji sleeping peacefully beside me; thankful that he had remained undisturbed by my dreams. In reality, Misato had returned before we had gotten any further than kissing, immediately hauling me from the room while Shinji got changed. In those few moments she had lectured me briefly, warning me not to be so irresponsible, the last thing that was needed now was a pregnancy. In truth I had not thought about such things, the pent up desires overcoming me, depriving me of the insight of rational thought.

He made me swear, swear that we would go no further than we already had done, that we would wait until the angels were gone. It took everything I had to agree to that promise, fighting down the need that once against threatened to overcome me. We travelled back to the apartment in silence, Shinji having been informed of her decision as soon as he emerged from the room. We had sat in the back of the car together, holding hands all the way. Misato had dropped us off outside, telling us she still had work to do, trusting us to keep our promises while she was away. We ate a meal together before retiring to his bedroom, even if we did nothing, I had wanted to at least sleep together in this way.

As I lay there, cradled in his warmth, listening to the regular pattern of his heart beating against my ear, for the first time since he was first brought into the hospital, the memories of his injuries began to fade. Somehow, the time within the Eva had healed him and he had returned to me, whole once again. I renewed my vow silently, swearing that I would never let him go again, never would I allow my own pride to rob me of something I held dear, I would not let my foolishness rob me of our happy end. Unwilling to return to sleep now I simply lay there, listening to the gentle rhythm of his heart once again.

"Asuka?"

I was startled by his voice, till that moment I had truly believed he was still asleep. I couldn't help but wonder how long it was he had been awake and if it had been my nightmares that had called him from his own sleep.

"Yes Shinji?"

"Did you have a nightmare?"

I paused for a moment before nodding in reply. At first he said nothing, in which time I realised he probably did not understand the gesture, nodding was considered a gesture of affirmation here in Japan, a signal for one to continue speaking, not a reply. It seemed that he soon realised what I had meant as he continued, asking me the one question I wished he had not.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head violently, both signalling no and trying in vain to cast the haunting images from my mind. He seemed to understand this time as he said nothing further, simply pulled me tightly against him, encircled in his arms. I tried to settle down and sleep but it eluded me at every turn. Part of me was still afraid, despite his presence; I didn't want to go back to that place, the place where the nightmare awaited. I don't know how long I spent that way until at last my body gave way, casting me into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

When I woke next it was already morning, the small red number of his alarm clock tell me it was already nine AM. When I lifted my head away from his chest and looked at him it was to find Shinji staring right back at me, already awake. He did not look like he had just woken up either, who knows how long he had stayed this way, simply looking at me, waiting patiently for me to awake so that I would not be alone. Part of me was a little upset that he had not thought to make some breakfast yet was reminded by another part that to do so he would have had to leave my side.

"Baka."

In truth that was directed more at myself than at him yet he smiled anyway, slowly disentangling himself from me and disappearing from the room. Soon the smells of his cooking pervaded from the kitchen and I got up, in search of both his cooking and company, it was still too soon, I could not yet bear for him to be so far away.

I found him standing over the stove once again, pausing for a moment as memories of the last time I had seen him this way flooded my mind. It had been more than a month since he had last stood in this kitchen, working at the counter, preparing another one of his delicious meals for Misato and myself. In the time he was away, at first I had spent most of my time at Hikari's, eating my meals there. When this happened and he had been trapped in Unit-01, we had lived on take out food; Misato had been in no mood to attempt cooking and neither had I.

Not wanting to disturb him, I went and sat at the table, in front of one of the plates he had set out. There were only two I noticed, obviously Misato had not returned home last night…whether it was because she was with Kaji or stuck at Nerv I could not tell. My attention was drawn back to the present when he laid a plate before me and sat down. Turning my attention towards it I was surprised by what he had made.

"Pancakes?"

He smiled at me from across the table, while handing me a very familiar bottle filled with a golden liquid.

"I thought that they might be appropriate."

Not knowing how to express what it was I was feeling in words, I stood up and walked round the table so I was beside him. He looked up at me, a questioning expression on his face. I leant down and kissed him hard on the lips, telling him just how much this meant to me and how truly happy I was to have him back. To my surprise, when I began to pull away, his hands shot up and caught me in his grasp, keeping my lips against his, stopping me from ending the kiss. He met my passion with passion of his own yet; his hands never left my face. If they did, then this might go further than a kiss, more than either one of us wanted.

When we finally broke contact, neither one of us spoke, simply returning to our breakfasts as if nothing had happened, matching smiles on our faces. Once breakfast was finished I offered to wash up while he got dressed for school. He did so with silent thanks, but not before capturing my lips in another heated kiss. This all started with a kiss, perhaps this time a kiss will signal the end of the troubles that have plagued us…

For the next couple of days, life was perfect. We spent our days at school, what little of it remained. Our evenings curled up in front of the TV together, our nights sleeping together in bed. For the first time since my mother died, since I had become the pilot of Unit-02, I was finally free of the nightmares of my childhood, I was finally content. Then the angel alarm sounded and my perfect world all came crashing down…

As always, we were called to Nerv immediately, but for once, we were ushered into a briefing room after we changed rather than the entry plugs. Already the Commander, Sub Commander, Dr. Akagi, the Major, and Mr. Kaji were present, looking at a large display screen currently showing an image of the Angel. Once we were seated Misato walked up to the front and began the briefing.

"At present the Angel is in a geostationary orbit above us, at a point approximately one hundred miles outside the atmosphere, outside the effective range of the majority of our weapons. At present it has taken no offensive action but we do not plan to take any chances, it must be dealt with before it attempts to launch an attack."

As she continued on, describing the strategies to be used in the coming battle, my attention was elsewhere. Shinji had grown increasingly tense as the briefing went on, every time Unit-01 was mentioned his fist would spasm open and closed. I took his hand in my own; trying to reassure him, to help force back the memories I know still haunted him, the memories that he still calls out to in his sleep. I felt eyes on me and turned to see the First looking at me, a calculating look in her eyes. I turned away, unwilling to look at her any longer, I know what it is she wants and she can't have it, he and I are together now.

We were dismissed abruptly a few moments later, sent directly to the Eva cages. Even though Unit-01 was still to be kept on lockdown, Shinji was expected to be inside, just in case something went wrong…I could feel him almost freeze up as he let go of my hand to step inside the plug. I have no way of knowing the true extent of what happened to him during that time, all I know is that he never speaks about it. I left to embark on my own Evangelion, waiting for the mission to begin. I was rocked to the surface before taking up the positron rifle and engaging the special targeting interface.

I gripped the rifle firmly in my Eva's hands, waiting for the two cursors to line up, to signal the time to fire. When at last they came together with a soft ping I pulled the trigger and a great beat of light arced from the barrel of the rifle, surging out into space. It seemed to speed up as it left the atmosphere, accelerating to where the angel floated, waiting silently for its destruction. At last the crucial moment came, the beam was about to strike the angel when a faint orange field appeared, it had blocked the beam with it's AT field. Gutted by my failure I had only a moment to consider the consequences of what had happened before a bright light rained down from the heavens and I was engulfed in darkness.

When I woke it was in what appeared to be Misato's apartment, the little things told me it wasn't real, the missing sign from Shinji's door, the lack of beer in the partly open refrigerator. Wherever this was, it was not the place I knew, but rather a copy, a facsimile created by some unknown force.

"You are not the chosen one."

I turned at the sound of the voice, turning to meet the gaze of a woman with crimson eyes and long silver hair that reached down to her back. She wore nothing more than a dress made of a sheer silver material, while not quite transparent it was enough to give no illusions as to her assets, her figure seemed to be based roughly on Misato's.

"Who are you?"

"I am the one come to test the will of the chosen one, to examine the strength of his mind. You are not the chosen one…but as you are here you will take the test in his place."

I was about to speak out, to ask one of the many questions swirling through my head, but she vanished from the room and once more my surroundings faded into darkness. Voices began to emerge from the darkness, ones I had believed I had buried long ago. I was assaulted by memories of my mother, of the days leading up to her death. They tormented me still, but not as they once had done, I could feel the bond I had with Shinji holding me back, keeping me from falling into the yawning maw of insanity that hovered ever beneath me.

As if sensing my resolve, the images shifted and once more I found myself in my nightmare, watching as the possessed Shinji hung over me, raping me one moment and then hanging before me like a broken puppet the next. Even as this assault continued I felt my grip on reality slipping, my resolve weakening. I wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer, summoning all the breath I had within me I cried out, cried out his name over and over again.

"SHINJI!"

For a moment nothing changed, the images continued to assault me as I slipped ever closer to madness. Then, all of a sudden a sound from outside broke through the darkness.

"SHINJI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! GET BACK HERE!"

Hearing Misato's voice reassured me, I knew then that he was coming for me, that he would take me away from this place and we would be together again. After what could have been an instant, or an eternity, the darkness faded and I was hurled back into the light, only to find myself in his arms. Weeping openly I hugged him to me, taking comfort in the warmth of his chest. I saw, heard, felt nothing but his presence until at last we returned to the apartment, to his bed. I looked up at him with pleading eyes, silently asking him for what I wanted, what I needed now.

Without a word he leant down and kissed me hard on the lips as his hands moved down my body. In the moments that followed we were closer than ever before, our souls and bodies united as one…

AN: Only another six to go…hopefully. Sorry for the delay but as ever work seems to be content destroying my life. Expect various updates once this is done but as always they will be erratic and without any real schedule.

Thanks,


Hououza

Chapter preread by That Other Guy