YAOYOROZU

Iida stood before a podium, wearing a silver tuxedo. The 1-A students, in attire ranging from pizza-stained Kaminari casual to Yaoyorozu's classy red dress, sat in luxurious padded chairs in the dimly lit, lavishly decorated dorm lounge.

"First item on the first annual Yaoyorozu Charity Auction, a PS55! With its limited release, these highly sought-after console can sell for millions on the internet. Starting bid is at a hundred-thousand!"

"Five-hundred thousand!" Kaminari shouted, desperately waving a stack of bills in the air.

"One million," Yaoyorozu calmly replied.

Kaminari groaned and slumped in his seat. Ojiro whispered to Shoji, "Why are we having an auction when she can outbid us on everything?"

"Just let her have this. She promised pizza afterwards."

Iida looked around. "Any other bidders? Going once, going twice…"

"One million and one yen."

Midoriya raised his own paddle in the air. Iida straightened his glasses and said, "You must raise the bid by a minimum of a hundred-thousand."

"Oh. 1.1 million then."

"1.2 million!" Yaoyorozu shouted.

"1.3 million."

"2 million!"

"2.1 million."

"How does Midoriya have that kind of cash?" Kaminari whispered in awe.

"Auntie Inko invented cold fusion," Bakugo said. "She still refuses to sell it because no one can scrape together enough money to buy it."

"Not even the U.S.?" Jirou asked.

"She laughed the Secretary of the Treasury out of her living room."

"Five million!"

"5.1 million."

Mineta gaped at the growing figures. "At this point, you may as well buy it off the internet!"

Kaminari, tearfully scrolling for his phone, asked, "How much do you think I could get for a kidney?"

"Tell Izuku you have kidney cancer," Jirou deadpanned. "He could pop it right out for you."

"Great idea! Hey, Midoriya! I-"

Sero slapped tape over Kaminari's mouth. "Dude… no."

"It's not fair!"

"Ten million!"

"10.1 million."

"Ten-point…" Yaoyorozu checked her bank account. She glanced around nervously as Iida started counting. With a grunt, she tore open her dress and took a platinum bar out of her cleavage.

"Twenty-million!"

"20.1 million."

Platinum matryoshka dolls spilled like rain from Yaoyorozu's torn dress. "A hundred million!"

Izuku yet again raised the bid by the minimum. Yaoyorozu clawed at the zipper, exposing her back and letting more platinum shower the floor.

"A hundred million!"

"100.1 million."

As the tattered dress hung limply Momo's shrinking frame, Sero stitched together a duct tape cloak and threw it over her. Sato and Mina moved seats as the growing pile of platinum threatened to swallow them whole.

"One billion dollars!"

"Wrong currency," Iida said. "Bidding is in-"

"1.0001 billion."

Yaoyorozu grunted and strained, but not a sliver of platinum left her skin. She could only watch helplessly as Iida swung the gavel and gave Izuku the PS55.

"Next up, we have a 100-inch plasma screen television."

"One billion!" Yaoyorozu shouted, waving her paddle wildly.

"1.0001 billion."

Tsuyu asked, "Why are they paying for things they can easily make?"

Shouto shrugged. "I do it all the time with Endeavor's credit cards."

500

I let RNGesus take the wheel this time, and I wasn't disappointed.