02:23 – Too Many Secrets
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters they are the property of their respective creators. Please be aware that no profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.
When I surfaced from the darkness and regained consciousness it was to see the familiar form of Unit-02 grappling with the still possessed Unit-00. The bulk of the Angel still was wrapped around it, waving about like a giant silver scarf. It would periodically try and attack the other Eva that seemed intent on destroying its host body but each attack was batted away by a combination of progressive knife and AT field. Still, the red Eva's hold was slowly loosening; it was only a matter of time before Unit-00 broke free. I needed to do something, anything to help my fellow pilot yet still Unit-01 refused to accept my commands, remaining silent, the giant biomechanical machine remaining in place, watching the battle that unfolded in front of us.
In desperation I reached down inside myself, looking for some way in which I might make the Eva respond to my commands, to break the bindings that held me back. Even as I did so my memory drifted back to the fight against the Fourteenth Angel, to the power I had wielded in those brief few moments when the Eva's consciousness and my consciousness were one. The last time I had done so I had lost my body and very nearly lost my own identity when Unit-01 itself had tried to keep me there, inside itself. In the end I had barely escaped, there could be no guarantees this time if I were to go there. Still, there was no other choice; there was no other way to force it to obey. Mouthing a silent apology to Asuka I dove into the darkness, into the interface between our minds.
At first there was nothing but darkness, endless void all around me until at last it began to shift and change, to take shape. Slowly, colour formed in the darkness and I found myself in a familiar place, the small island where I had watched my parents, my mother holding my infant self in her arms as she talked with my father of the future they had planned. Now, the ghosts of my parents were gone yet the tree remained in the middle of the small island, casting its shade upon the grass, an echo of another world. Walking silently toward the tree I felt the world shift around me, as if it were as fragile as a sheet of tissue paper, ready to tear at any moment. Moving closer a figure appeared upon the tree, arms spread-eagled to their sides, nailed to the bark at the palms.
I tried to get closer but a figure stood in my path. It looked as if it had stepped out of someone's nightmares, a confused tangle of pipes and tubes sticking out of raw and bleeding flesh as fragments of purple armour adorned its body, focused around its head. This was the avatar of Unit-01's inner consciousness, the creature that had trapped me here once before, that had almost kept me from returning to the waking world. Back then it had been my mother who had cleared the path and Asuka's voice that had shown me the way back. This time there would be no one to help me, I would have to face and defeat the beast by myself. It seemed as if the beast recognised this because its face shifted into what resembled a grin even as it leapt forwards and attacked.
The force of the impact drove me backwards but I held my ground, I would not run away from it any longer. This beast had haunted my dreams and waking hours since I first set foot in the Eva and now it would be at an end. I caught its arm and using all the strength I could muster, cast it back into the darkness. It screamed as the world tore apart, hurling into the void and darkness. Not stopping to savour my victory I advanced closer to the tree where the figure was mounted, looking up at their face. In that moment my blood ran cold as I looked upon the cold dead eyes of my mother, looking down at me from where she had been crucified. Rage boiled up within me, a terrible endless rage that tore the tissue paper world apart until all that remained was the avatar and myself.
It seemed to mock me, its eyes shining with a twisted amusement at my pain. With a cry that was quickly swallowed by the void I leapt upon it, my fists crashing into what passed for its face. Over and over again I struck it, never stopping until at last the beast fell silent. Now, soaked with its blood I stood once more, advancing upon tree, and the last vestige of that world that remained. I advanced upon my mother, reaching up to her with my blood stained hands, set only on getting her down. At the last moment, as my hand was about to make contact with her face she changed into the beast once more even as it fell upon me with renewed vigour.
Its hands sank into me even as our bodies began to merge; its flesh dripping into the patches of its blood. I could feel it, its mind slipping into mine, trying to take over control, to bond me permanently to itself. In that final instant, as the walls between us began to crumble I saw Asuka's face and regained the courage to fight back. It howled in pain as I began to resist it, shifting the flow so that I was the one on top, so that I was the greater consciousness. It fought desperately, trying to escape the pull but it could not. Soon nothing remained, as the avatar became part of me. Now in control I rose upwards, reaching for the light and consciousness. Now I would return to battle and wreak havoc upon my foes.
I took control of the Eva, feeling my mother's presence clearly for the first time. I felt her smile at me as I rose ever upwards, taking the reins as the Evas hand became my own. Now I was in control of Unit-01 once again, my sight returning to the world outside even as Unit-02 erupted into a great ball of light, consuming the other, still possessed Eva and the earth around it as well. It felt as if my world fell apart then, I had failed again and this time my failure had cost two people their lives. Ayanami and Nagisa were dead, along with the Sixteenth Angel and with that grisly ending the battle was done and my desire to pilot was at an end…I don't care anymore, I will not step inside Unit-01 again.
I returned Unit-01 to the city, turning my back on the newest crater as I made my way to the nearest elevator. I had kept my promise to Asuka, but at what cost? Two Evas were destroyed and two pilots dead. After everything I had done, I had tried to do I still could not stop them from dying…the elevator shot downwards before locking into place as it reached the bottom. Unit-01 moved in place, being transferred to the cages where I would disembark. Slowly, the connection faded and the entry plug moved, the door sliding open and allowing me to step out onto the gantry. Even as I got clear Asuka charged up the steps and embraced me, I could tell from the look in her eyes he had seen that battle, that she had been afraid. I did my best to comfort her, pulling her close.
"Attention all personnel, this is Commander Ikari speaking. I have an important announcement for everyone concerning the most recent battle. The MAGI have now produced additional information concerning the outcome of the battle; a second Angel was terminated during the battle bringing the total to seventeen. As of today we will begin decommissioning of this facility as well as the one remaining Eva…it's finally over, thank you everyone."
For a moment after the announcement I simply stood there in shock, after all that had happened I could not believe that it was all over, it seemed to be too good to be true. Still, my father's words gave me cause for doubt, there had been no second Angel during the battle, for the MAGI to have made such a conclusion seemed like madness. Moreover was his certainty that it was over, disturbed me, could it have been he knew all of this beforehand…I locked gazes with Asuka, seeing the same disbelief in her eyes I motioned towards the Command Centre. She simply nodded in reply, agreeing to my suggestion. Releasing each other before clasping hands we set out to obtain some answers.
When we entered the Command Centre I noticed at once my father was not there, only Sub Commander Fuyutski stood upon the command platform. Below him stood Misato and Kaji, lost in a passionate kiss that had me blushing while the bridge bunnies were chatting. I turned my attention back to the older man, only to discover he was looking at me, motioning for me to come forwards. I did as he asked, Asuka beside me every moment as the two of us closed the distance. It wasn't until we were no more than a couple of feet away that he signalled for us to stop and when he spoke his voice was low, the message meant for the two of us and no others.
"Shinji, your father has some things to discuss with you, he is waiting in his office. I suggest you also take pilot Sohryu with you as this impacts upon her as well."
I nodded in response and turned to depart, pausing when the man spoke out once again.
"And Shinji, Yui…your mother would be very proud."
I felt Asuka's grip tighten for an instant and then relax. I turned back to the older man and bowed in thanks before being lead away by Asuka, off to speak with my father. We walked in silence, neither one of us sure what awaited us, of what he wanted to say. It's strange, but I think he has been different these past few months, I no longer feel that apprehension I felt when he summoned me to Tokyo-3 for the first time all those months ago. Standing in front of that all too familiar office, looking up at the nameplate bolted onto the door I steeled myself, tightening my grip on Asuka's hand for a moment before stepping forwards as the door slid open. My father was waiting for me there, seated behind his desk as usual, hands folded in front o his face.
"Come in Shinji, and bring Miss Sohryu with you."
Surprised at his use of my first name I did as I was told, stepping inside the room, Asuka beside me as we walked over to stand in front of his desk. For a moment we stood in silence, then I was surprised once again when my father reached up and removed his glasses, his eyes moving to meet my own. The small sparkles I saw there robbed me of my breath.
"I am sorry my son…everything I have done…everything I have tried to do…it's all over now…and now…I finally understand what I could not when your mother was taken away from us…the only thing that mattered was getting her back and keeping you away from them."
I hesitated, unsure of what to say, my resolve faltering so Asuka spoke in my place.
"What are you talking about? Who are these people?"
He paused for a moment before a grim smile spread across his lips.
"Of course…its time you both knew the truth. Nerv and its predecessor Gehern existed solely for the purpose of bringing instrumentality, under the direction of a group of individuals known only as the Council of Seele. Those twelve are the one who planned the incident that brought about Second Impact, the ones who first started the construction of the Evas and the ones ultimately responsible for both your mother's deaths."
This latest development stunned Asuka; I felt her grip tighten as she shouted back at him.
"What the hell are you talking about? My mother committed suicide!"
"I will admit it is true that her body committed suicide, however her soul was already lost. During the initial activation experiment with Unit-02 the dormant core of the Evangelion consumed her soul in order to obtain consciousness. A similar phenomenon occurred with Unit-01 resulting in the loss of Yui Ikari, my wife and Shinji's mother."
"But…but…I can't…"
"Seele have been controlling everything from the beginning, we have all been nothing more than puppets in their game. Now I have decided to bring this all to an end…"
The following morning we woke early and prepared to leave, pour packing completed the night before. Already a transport would be waiting at the geo front, ready to carry us far away from Tokyo-3 along with the other personnel still in the city. Father told me that he, along with Sub Commander Fuyutski would be the last to leave; they had to ensure that 'things' were taken care of…although, when I asked him what 'things' he was talking about he went oddly silent and refused to speak any further on the matter. The Sub Commander had acted in a similar way when I asked him about it later…I knew something was amiss but could not quite work out what it was and soon it was forgotten as I returned to Misato's apartment to start packing.
In truth my own packing consisted of a single box, I had few more belongings than when I had first arrived in Tokyo-3. The rest of the time was spent helping Asuka who was having trouble working out what to take and what to leave, and kept throwing things about at random. By the time she had finally packed her boxes for the third time it was getting very late, a short meal of instant ramen followed, thankfully prepared by Mr. Kaji rather than Misato before we all got some rest. When morning came Mr. Kaji and I were set to the task of carrying the boxes down to Misato's car while the two of them got ready. The time passed with the odd joke from Mr. Kaji and my occasional attempts at a response. Finally it was still early when we set off, Misato driving full pelt for Nerv central.
When we arrived in the car park it was already crowded with people, all the other remaining Nerv personnel had gathered their, all of them awaiting the transports that would carry us all off to Tokyo-2. Father had said that the transports themselves would have to travel underground for much of the journey to avoid being caught in the trouble that was soon to engulf Tokyo-3, to that end they would be transported down on the monorail and use a specially built access point in the Geofront itself. As the first of the transports arrived I felt my phone vibrate, a little surprised by this I removed it from my pocket and pressed the answer button.
"Hello?"
"If you want to know the truth, come to Central Dogma immediately."
"Who is this?"
"Someone who knows what really happened to your mother…someone who knows about your sister as well."
"What the hell are you talking about! I don't have a sister!"
"Is that what you believe? So unfortunate…"
"Tell me! Now!"
"Come to Central Dogma then and see for yourself."
The line went dead before I could say anything more, leaving me with an impossible dilemma. I looked over at Asuka, obviously she had overheard the brief conversation, and she too was looking at me with worry, I could tell she did not want me to go. Still, I found I could not back down, I could not throw leave her without knowing whether or not it was real. I slipped away towards one of the elevators that would take me down to the Command Centre, even as I stepped through the doors Asuka was at my side.
"I may not like this but you are not doing this alone. I've already almost lost you too many times already…if you want to get yourself killed then I'm going with you."
Her tone left no room for argument and I pressed the button and watched the doors close, the decision made. Up until now I had only heard of Central Dogma in whispered conversations and once in my father's orders. What awaited us there I could not know, yet I felt that just maybe if I saw it I might finally find closure for my feelings. Walking together hand in hand out of the elevator, we made our way down the long corridor, each step bringing us closer to the giant double doors behind which Central Dogma was located. As we closed the last few paces the doors began to slide open, revealing a giant figure resting up against a great red cross within.
"That is Lilith, the Second Angel and the mother of all humanity."
Turning I found myself looking at Dr Akagi, the fake blonde woman looking directly at me, the gun in her hand shaking slightly but aimed well enough at me.
"Ikari's precious Shinji…I may not be able to do anything to that bastard directly but I can take the one person he's been protecting all this time away from him. Still, before you die I'm going to show you the truth, the truth your father hid from you all this time!"
She motioned towards a door at the side of the room, obviously wanting Asuka and I to go through it. We did as we were instructed, the doctor following behind, gun trained at my back. In this new room we stood atop a great gantry, overlooking a great open space upon which a field of giant skeletons lay. Looking over each one in turn it dawned upon me what they were; the skeletons of Evangelions…
"These are the ones that came before, the failed ones. All these attempts at creating life and they all failed, the price man must pay when he tries to imitate God."
Once again she gestured to another door, at the far end of the gantry. As before we walked ahead of her, stepping into the next room. This one was far smaller than the last, made smaller by the little open room in the middle of it. On closer inspection I began to recognise the layout of the space, it perfectly mirrored Ayanami's apartment.
"This is where she spent the first years of her life, a fitting place for one of your father's creations."
At last I felt the anger rising within me at her mocking tone and incomplete explanations.
"What are you talking about! I told you! I don't have a sister!"
She smiled wickedly even as she motioned for us to go further, towards the far side of the room.
"Oh but you do Shinji, you do have a sister…multiple in fact. All of them created from a fusion of your mother's DNA and that of the Angel you saw in Central Dogma, What's worse was that your father gave it a name…one that you know all too well…"
Suddenly the lights came on and I found myself looking into an endless multitude of identical red eyes.
"Rei Ayanami!"
All around girls who looked identical to Rei floated in a substance that I assumed must be LCL. All of them were looking at me, there lips moving but no sound emerging, all of them mouthing the characters of my name. It was then the doctor let out a scream, her free hand tearing at her hair as she cried out.
"Shut up! Shut up all of you! You're nothing! Nothing but dolls!"
She grabbed a control that hung beside her, finger pressing a button and soon the tank turned red. The endless Rei's began to crumble, their bodies dissolving slowly as they looked at me, smiling sadly. By now Dr Akagi was shaking violently, the gun was trembling in her hand as she aimed it me once again.
"And now it's time to finish this, time for you to join your mother and sisters!"
I closed my eyes, bracing my self for the impact of the bullet but it never came as a familiar voice called out.
"Ritsuko!"
A shot range out and the pseudo blond crumpled to the floor, the bullet having punctured her heart. Misato ran over to me, crying profusely, pulling both Asuka and I into a tight embrace. When at last she calmed enough to release us we made our way back to the door that lead to the elevator shaft only to find my father, waiting for me there.
"Please, go on ahead. I wish for a moment alone with my son."
Misato nodded and pulled away a strongly protesting Asuka, leaving my father and I alone for the first time in a very long time. For what seemed like an eternity we stood in silence until at last I could take it no longer and I asked the one question I had to know.
"Was it true?"
"Yes."
"Goodbye father."
Those were the last words I ever said to him because as the transport once more emerged from the surface later and I looked back at the city the last thing I saw was Unit-01 rising into the sky on wings of light before everything was consumed by the explosion that erupted from within…
AN: 02 is coming to an end after a long time and a second version, only the epilogue to go and this one is completed.
My thanks to everyone who has stuck by me so far, hopefully there will be some updates on the others, time allowing.
Thanks,
Hououza
Chapter preread by That Other Guy