Note: Okay...I know what some of you are thinking. No, I haven't stopped my other story. This is something that my brother and I are working on. Since we got the first scene done...I thought I would post it and see what everyone thought. So, this is the product of two very stupid kids! I'm still working on chapter 6 for Inside My Heart...but I thought I would get any reaction to this and see if we should continue this since this is a combined effort.
If noone likes it then that's Okay...like I said, we have a very stupid humor.
Disclaimer: We don't own SO:TTEOT or any of Shakespeare's stuff.
As imitation is the highest form of flattery, we present our version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yes, we are looking at the script as we write this.
Please note that some may change roles as the story progresses, and that some roles have been altered all together. Later, there will be some big changes, but it's all in the name of stupid humor.
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CAST (in order of appearance) Shakespeare characters – SO:TTEOT characters
House of Capulet – Aquaria
House of Montague – Airyglyph
Sampson (from the house of Capulet) – Farleen
Gregory (from the house of Capulet) – Tynave
Abraham (from the house of Montague) – Shelby (Later takes role of Benvolio-see below)
Balthasar (from the house of Montague) – Ernest
Benvolio (from the house of Montague) – Clair (changed to kingdom of Aquaria to fit this part of our story)
Tybalt (Capulet) – Fayt (Changed to kingdom of Airyglyph to fit this part of our story)
Capulet – Romeria Zin Emurille
Lady Capulet - Lasselle
Montague - Arzei
Lady Montague – Wolter
Prince - Commodore Wittcomb
Benvolio – Shelby (to take on role of Albel's cousin)
Romeo - Albel
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Star-crossed Enemies
PROLOGUE
Two kingdoms, both akin in rich lore,
On the central continent of Elicoor, we witness events unfold,
From vile rumors break to new war,
Where swords are draw to kill innocence told.
From the lands of these two foes
A pair of star-crossed enemies make a stand;
When common ground overthrows
Do with their actions bid kingdoms to understand.
The fearful passage of their trials and tears
And the continuance of commanders' squall,
Which, by enemies' communion, easing fears,
It is now days before a fatal fall;
The which if you with open ears attend,
What here shall miss, will mend for all.
ACT I. SCENE I. Arias. A battle zone.
Enter Tynave and Farleen of the Secret Legion, armed with daggers
In the heat of battle, these two warriors fight with grace and skill. A small crew of Airyglyphian soldiers were easily brought down. The two women stand, back to back, awaiting another fight.
"Oh, I really don't like this," Farleen wined. "I can easily strike them down, but prefer to be away from battle."
"You lack motivation," Tynave puffed. She slightly enjoyed the release of tension she felt. "A dog of the kingdom of Airyglyph moves closer."
"Huh?" Farleen was confused. "They brought in dogs to fight?"
Tynave mentally slapped her own forehead. "No, you dolt. I'm calling the soldiers of Airyglyph dogs."
"Oh, too bad. I just love puppies."
Tynave rolled her eyes. Maybe she had hit Farleen one too many times in the head during training. "Yeah…anyway, be ready to fight."
"My daggers are drawn, and already tarnished. I will fight to the end for Aquaria. Let the puppies come, I will back you. WOOF!"
"I will stand and hold my ground. If they want to die then let them come." Tynave dug her heel into the soil. "Let us wait for them to make the first move."
"Nay," replied Farleen. "I say they can bite my ass." At that she turned and mooned the oncoming soldiers. She let out a hellish laugh as she swayed her hips before redeeming her former pose.
Enter Shelby and Ernest of the Black Brigade
"Do you so insult us with your show?" Shelby drew his sword.
Farleen crossed her arms and smiled. "Did you not like what you saw?"
"Do you so insult us with your show?" he repeated.
Tynave let out a heavy sigh.
Farleen smiled. "No, I do not show for you. But I do allow you to bite my ass."
At that, Farleen skipped a full circle around the two men. She stopped at Tynave's side and stuck her tongue out.
"If it's a fight you wish for, then we can oblige." Tynave waved her dagger.
"Why would we fight a couple of tired hags?"
"If you wish to fight then let yourselves be warned, we serve a kingdom as great as you." Tynave smiled
Ernest spat at the ground. "No better!"
Farleen pulled pom-poms from nowhere and waved them around. "Yes, better. Airyglyph sucks and Aquaria rules! A-QUA-RI-A"
"Draw, if you be men," Tynave spoke, almost at a yell. "Remember your training, Farleen."
Farleen jumped in the air and threw the pom-poms from her. She pulled her dagger out.
The four took arms and fought. Swords beat on daggers in a symphony of war. Neither side was willing to yield to the other.
Enter Clair, second in command of the Secret Legion.
"Part, fools!" Clair demanded of both sides. "Put down your weapons. You, dogs of Airyglyph are beat. Your forces retreat as we speak."
They stop fighting.
"Yeah, you puppies need to go home," Farleen said in a way-too-cheerful tone.
Enter Fayt, second in command of the Black Brigade
Fayt rested his hand on his hip. "To what do you speak? Turn and face me, Clair, and look upon your death." He drew his sword. The blade was heavy and sent him forward. He grunted as he lifted the oversized weapon.
Clair frowned at him. "I do but speak the truth. You have lost, now put away your sword. Come, take your men and leave this place."
Fayt swung his sword at her. The swing took him and he spun a full 360 degrees. His spin ended when the blade hit the ground, jerking him to a sudden stop. He let go of the hilt and growled. "Stupid sword!" He kicked the sword. "Ahhh my foot!"
Fayt cursed and lifted the sword from the ground. He ignored his foot as it bled. "Lost? Nay, I hate to loose, as I do all Aquarians, and you. Now, fight me, coward!"
It was on! Fayt collided with Clair. Tynave exchanged blows with Shelby. Farleen danced around a very confused Ernest.
Farleen began singing to the tune of 'Oh When the Saints'. "Oh when the puppies, oh when the puppies, oh when the puppies go running home. How I want to see them dismembered, when the puppies go running home." She pranced around.
Enter troops from both sides. Then enter the citizens of Arias with bird seed.
The citizens started to scream at the six soldiers as troops from both sides entered the fight.
"Beat them down!"
"Down with the war! Down with Airyglyph! Down with Aquaria!"
They started throwing bird seed on the soldiers. The group stopped fighting.
"Hey! I've got bird seed in my eyes!" Fayt dropped his sword. He started running in circles with his hands over his eyes. "MY EYES!" He ran right into the dancing Farleen, both falling. Fayt lay on top of her, frantically rubbing his eyes.
"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Farleen squealed.
Fayt screamed. "MY EARS! Ahhhhh. First I'm blinded and now rendered deaf!"
Enter Romeria Zin Emurille, queen of Aquaria and the Magistrate Lasselle
"What noise is this?" demanded the queen. "Give me the grace of Apris. I shall call on runology to smite the ruffians of Airyglyph!"
"But my queen," protested Lasselle. "Why call you on runology? You should not be here in a war zone. Now, we must get you back to the castle."
"Nay, I call runology. I will strike down the dogs of Airyglyph."
Farleen chimed in. "Yay! Hotdogs for dinner!"
Enter Arzei, king of Airyglyph and Sir. Wolter
"Don't try to stop me," the king spat. "I will put a swift end to the enemy."
Wolter placed a hand on his king's shoulder. "I do not think it wise to rush into battle."
Enter Commodore Wittcomb of the Federation (Peace keeper extraordinary and ultimate ruler of Elicoor)
Everyone halted at the sight of Wittcomb. He rarely left his palace on the clouds.
"Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace," Wittcomb said addressing both sides. "This battle is over. Now part you from the bloodshed. Hear me and be moved to act accordingly. Three times have you decided to wage war and three times disturbed my peace. The price for insubordination will result in death. Now, you of Aquaria, come along with me. And you of Airyglyph shall see me this afternoon. As for the rest of you, part now unless you seek death."
Walking the path back to Kirlsa, Shelby accompanies the king and Sir. Wolter.
"Who set this ancient quarrel anew?" the king spoke to Shelby. "Speak; tell me who decided to start a new war without my knowledge."
"It was a swine of Aquaria." Shelby spoke with confidence. "They did but insult us and this in turn set the fiery Fayt into frenzy. Though is sword brought him down again, his words cut into anger. While we were exchanging thrusts and blows, more came and fought. Then the citizens threw bird seed at us. This, of course, got the attention of our ultimate ruler."
"Of all the dirty tricks," the king fumed. "Bird seed! Those underhanded barbarians."
"And what of Albel?" Wolter inquired. "Have you not seen him today? I am relieved that he was not a party to this."
Shelby rested his hand on the old man's shoulder. "Sir, an hour before sunrise I spotted Albel in the fields outside the village. I fear him not well. He did nothing to the beasts of the land, for there was no blood on his sword. His claw grows dull. His eyes do not crave gore. I found him playing hopscotch with the bunnies."
The three men from the kingdom of Airyglyph were interrupted when Fayt came running at them.
"HELP. GET THEM AWAY!" Fayt ran circles around the trio, slapping his head. Following him was a flock of small blue birds. "I'VE GOT BIRD SEED IN MY HAIR. AHHHHHH!"
Fayt ran off, leaving them in peace. "Damn villagers and their damn bird seed!" The king raised his hand to the air. He lowered his hand and looked at Wolter.
"There have been many a mornings in which I have found Albel deep in thought. On his feet were fluffy bunny slippers." The king hung his head. "He has also been seen telling jokes to the young and chatting with the old ladies in market. While in the market, he insists on wearing a pink sombrero."
"My king, do you know why he has lost his will to kill?" Shelby asked. "Hey, that rhymes!" Shelby smiled, proud of himself.
"No and he will not tell me."
As they walked through the fields on their trip home, they spotted Albel. He is sitting in the grass and making a wreath of flowers while singing 'The Sound of Music'.
Shelby bowed to the king. "Allow me, for I will find the source to his torment and relieve him back to his vicious ways."
Wolter escorted the king, leaving Shelby to check on Albel. Shelby went and sat beside the happy man.
"Yo, cousin! What's up?"
Albel held up his ring of flowers. "Tis a day bright and beautiful. To what reason do I owe your presence here? Come and smell the flowers with me."
"Snap out of it, man. This ain't fly! You can't be skipping and singing happy songs, not now. Not while the kingdom of Aquaria is afoot." Shelby gave him a pat on the back. "What brightens Albel's days?"
"Not having that, which, having, makes them dark." Albel smiled.
Shelby shivered. His smile truly frightened him. "In hate?"
"Out--"
"Of hate?"
"Out of an enemy, where I am in hate."
"Yo, man, that's deep."
Albel shook his head. "Alas, that hate, whose torture ended all too soon. Tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with love, but more to do with hate! O loving love! O brawling hate! My heaviness deepens into shades of pink. Do you find this amusing?"
"No, coz, I rather fear and weep."
"Why cry dear cousin?" Albel patted Shelby on the back. "I have my hankie in my pocket should you need."
Albel stood and waved merrily. "Well, so long cousin. I have made a date to be taught the ways of River Dance."
"No, man, you can't do that. Look, I'm coming with you." Shelby stood.
They started to walk. "So tell me, coz, who is it you hate so and then lost?"
Albel hugged Shelby around the shoulders as they walked. "Bid a mad man in his will of madness. Ah, to see the pretty colors. In madness, cousin, I did hate a woman."
"And what of this hate to have it part this world so soon."
With a glimpse of his former self, Albel snickered. "I cut off her head." He smiled, once more delusional. "Not a fight did she give to harvest my wild ways. She too soon parted without even a scratch upon my skin."
Shelby looked down and hung his head. "So, your focus of anger and hate is lost to death?"
"Yeah," Albel nodded. "What a bummer!"
Shelby smiled. "Come and follow my example. I will help you to forget to think about her."
"O, teach me how I should forget to think."
Shelby rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't take much for you to forget to think," he mumbled.
"Huh?"
"Oh, I was saying that you should seek out a new enemy in which to fight."
"Okay!" Albel hugged Shelby's arm.
Shelby sighed. "Man! Leggo!"
End Act I, Scene I.
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I know...kinda stupid, but we liked it.