IIDA

"Good morning, Midoriya-san!" Iida gave a crisp salute as Izuku entered the kitchen. "A wonderful day for studying, is it not?"

"Indeed," Izuku agreed. "The current ambient temperature and humidity are both highly agreeable for the functioning of my core processors. Which subject do you prefer studying?"

"I do not have a favorite. Showing favoritism towards any particular subject could cause me to neglect the rest of my education."

Bakugo, hiding above the refrigerator, glared at them both through a pair of binoculars. "Of course, how could I be so blind? He has freaking mufflers sticking out of his legs! Must be a prototype model."

Iida opened the fridge, oblivious to the death glare above him, and asked, "Would you care for any refreshments, Midoriya-san?"

Izuku held up a carton of motor oil. "I have all the lubrication I need. Thank you."

Iida took out the carton of orange juice and poured it all into a really tall glass before neatly folding the empty carton and sorting it next to the other neatly folded recyclables.

As they drank their shared refreshments, Izuku said, "That is five times the normal amount of orange juice a person drinks for breakfast on average. Is there a reason you drink so much orange juice?"

"The Vitamin C fuels my Quirk," Iida said. "Without it, my engines would stall."

Furious scribbling sounds came from above the fridge as Bakugo wrote down Iida's weakness.

"Does motor oil help your Quirk as well?"

"You are correct," Izuku answered. "It is a highly efficient fuel source and also provides lubrication."

More scratching sounds came from above the fridge. Iida frowned in its direction and said, "I do hope that is not a rat."

Izuku cocked his head. "I thought rats were allowed on the premises? We even have one for a principal."

Iida hurriedly shook his head and said, "No offense meant to Nezu-san, of course! I merely meant a rat of the non-intelligent variety, one that could pose as a vector of disease and destruction of property. If such is on the premises, we would need to hire an exterminator post-haste."

Bakugo froze, thinking that 'rat' was some robotic codeword for spy. Izuku said, "I have found twenty-six exterminators within a twenty mile radius of our current location. Would you prefer that I sort them alphabetically, by distance, or by price?"

Bakugo leapt, knocking over the fridge. "I know the truth! And soon, so will everyone else! You'll never take me alive!"

"Hey!" Iida shouted after Bakugo. "Running on the premises is a violation of Part C, Section 14 of the school rulebook!"

Izuku looked at the fallen fridge and asked, "Are you going to eat that?"

"Uh… no?"

Izuku bit the refrigerator. He morphed into a green copy of the fridge and shuffled into the cubby where it had stood.

"I am a refrigerator now. Insert temperature related pun here."

Iida adjusted his glasses and said, "You are a very odd person, Midoriya-san."

497

In which Izuku and Iida have a human conversation about human topics like sportsball and meteorology.