Disclaimer: A disclaimer by any other name would still mean we don't own it.
Note from Brother: Mwhahahaha, seems we have a new recruit to the Twinkie Scouts. Thanks BlueTrillium, now you must learn our motto: CREAM 'EM ALL! You will serve under Twinkie Scout Kiki (a.k.a my sis) and we will rid the world of all that is not tasty.
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CAST (in order of appearance) Shakespeare characters – SO:TTEOT characters
Friar Laurence - Mirage
Romeo - Albel
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ACT II, SCENE III
Enter Mirage pulling a small wagon
Mirage walked the streets, collecting the weapons that had been dropped during the last fight between the kingdoms.
"Another morning follows another night…talk about repetitive. Nothing really interesting happens anymore. Well, not since that last Halloween party we threw. Who would have known that Sophia could be so vindictive? Oh darn…my thoughts are wondering again…where was I…oh yes, another day. Today might well be a better day. In swords, spears, daggers, and their true qualities: For nought so vile and lovely on the earth doth give. Oh shinny metal, to me be true! I'll be off to the workshop by noon. Poison hath residence and medicine power, and I will be the greatest of the blacksmith!"
Enter Albel
"Good morrow, father."
Mirage promptly punched Albel, sending him to a lump on the ground. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me father!" Mirage sighed as she replaced every loose strand of hair back into place. "Yes, that's better. Now, Albel, What brings you here?"
Albel sat up and glared at her as he groaned.
"Ah, we're in a better mood huh? Good, those bunnies that were following you were very annoying…though they made quite a good stew. Oh, I see you got no sleep last night. You look awful!"
Albel stood and growled. "I look no worst then you!"
Mirage lifted her hand again, causing Albel to crouch protectively. He then proceeded to give her the ever famous puppy dog eyes.
"Ahhh, stop it. Stop it. I won't hit you if you just stop it now!" Mirage covered her eyes at the horrific sight. "Just tell me, what were you doing last night anyway?"
Albel resumed his natural pose. "Okay, but you can't tell anyone. It's a secret."
"Oh, a secret? Oh goody!" Mirage started clapping her hands while jumping up and down.
"I was feasting with mine enemy when I met…someone. Well, me and this someone had a chat and we have a lot in common. You see it's a complex situation with a fruity twist."
Mirage shook her head. She rested her hands on her hips and gave Albel a what-the-hell look. "Be plain, fluffy tide, and homely in thy drift; riddling confession finds but riddling shrift."
Albel scratched his head. "Huh? What'd you say?"
"Exactly!"
"Um, okay," Albel repied. "Then plainly know that my heart's dear hate is set on the greatest of the soldiers of Aquaria. As mine hate on her, so she on mine; and all combined, save what you must combine. We need a place to play and I ask you to provide that sanctuary to us. Wilt you but provide us a battle field today?"
Mirage rested her chin in her hand. After thinking a while, she pulled a bag of popcorn (best not to ask where she got it from) and proceeded to throw it, piece by piece at Albel. "Your moods change faster then a woman's! But yesterday you were skipping merrily through the streets and singing show tunes. Now, well, now you are back to carrying visions of blood and gore. You're weak."
"Look worm, I killed the last. Do you condemn me for such?"
"For killing no, for male PMS yes."
"WHAT? I'll kill you for that."
"Oh but if you do; then who, I ask, will you turn to when you need marmalade?"
Albel inadvertently started to drool. "Ummm…marmalade…"
"Alright, I'll do it. But what's in it for me?"
Albel hung his head slightly in thought. Then the most brilliant idea popped in his head. And I'm saying pop cause the sound actually made Mirage jump in surprise. Besides blowing a fuse, Albel was quite pleased with himself.
"If you help me, then I will recruit Puffy. I'll have her make that potion you desire. You know, the one that will cause Cliff to go mute and at the same time give him a fetish for blonde chicks."
Mirage gave Albel an evil smirk. "You got a deal."
END ACT II, SCENE III
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CAST (in order of appearance) Shakespeare characters – SO:TTEOT characters
Benvolio – Shelby
Mercutio – Cliff
Tybalt - Fayt
Romeo – Albel
Nurse – Peppita
Peter – Ursus
Warning: This scene will feature random and non-plot related character appearances.
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ACT II, SCENE IV
Enter Shelby pulling Cliff
"Yo, let go will ya?" Cliff knocked Shelby's hand away. "What happened?"
Shelby sighed. "You just stood there for hours. When I woke I went to check on you and you were still there. What happened to you?"
"Well, it started with the whole what-they-say-about blondes thing and eventually I think I've unlocked the secrets of the universe!" Cliff smiled wildly.
"The universe you say. Well, we all know it's flat!"
Cliff nodded. "Yeah, but it bends at the edges like a doily. And when the stars are in perfect alignment, I believe that it will start raining. And the best part is that the rain will come in the form of bite size chewy fruit flavored candies." Cliff giggled. "Oh, where is Albel? I simply must tell him the news."
"He didn't go home last night. No telling where he is now."
"Yeah, that's right. He's probably still hiding. We never found him to tell him the game was over."
Shelby crossed his arms. "And I thought Albel was a loony. Anyway, Fayt ratted on him and told the king that we went to the party last night."
"Whoa…you mean Fayt has such a death wish? Who's side is he on anyway?"
A wild laugh caught their attention. They looked up to see Fayt peering at them from around the corner. "I side with the Schizophrenic Strudel! Commander Kiki, lend me your aid."
At his command a girl appeared as she swung from a jungle vine. She deftly landed between Fayt and the other two men. "KI-KI!" She bowed slightly to Shelby and Cliff as she handed then a bag of birdseed. She smiled, jumped back on the vine and swung away.
"Uh…Who was that strange girl?"
"Never mind Cliff. Look, we have birdseed!"
Cliff and Shelby exchanged evil smiles. Fayt stepped from around the corner and looked up in the direction the girl had disappeared to. "Hey, Kiki, get back here you traitor!" Then his eyes fell in horror on Cliff and Shelby who immediately doused him in birdseed.
Within a flash, the flock of small blue birds appeared out of nowhere. "LUNCH!" they all screamed at once as they dove in unison.
"AHHHHH. NOT AGAIN!" Fayt screamed as he ran away.
"Whoa," Cliff said softly as he watched Fayt run. "I didn't know those little buggers could talk."
"Oh, forget the birds Cliff. What about Albel?"
"Nope, Albel doesn't like birdseed. But when he hears that Fayt has sided with the Schizophrenic Strudel then Fayt's as good as dead."
Shelby patted Cliff's back. "Why, what is Fayt?"
Cliff cleared his throat. "More then the supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion; battling the inevitable events predestined by an unexplained force. He is a duelist, a gentleman and an outcome of a final result or consequence. And he is the king of Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos."
Shelby looked at him blankly. "The what?"
Cliff patted him on the back while smiling cheerfully. "Some day my friend, you may be on the same intellectual level as I am. But until then, I will forgive your short comings."
Shelby growled at him. He was about to pound his mace into the skull of his so called friend when he spotted Albel.
"ALBEL," Shelby called out.
Cliff opened his mouth to speak, but was cut short when a random monkey hopped on his shoulders and covered his mouth with duck tape. Shelby gave the monkey a thumbs up and the monkey danced away.
Albel smirked at them. "What is this? Two fools do stand before me."
Shelby half smiled. "Back to normal at last." He looked at Cliff who was struggling with the duck tape. Cliff mumbled incoherently. "Oh, Cliff wants to know why you ditched us last night."
Albel looked non-amusingly at Cliff. "That's for me to know and you to find out." He stuck his tongue out while flapping his hands at the sides of his head.
"AHHH THAT HURT!" Cliff finally got the tape off. He swung his hand frantically, trying to get the tape off his fingers. "Yo, get lucky?"
"You have no manners do you?" Albel replied.
"Nay, I have manners. I also know that one who doesn't go home at night spent his time elsewhere. Come on, cough up the details."
"Pink for flower."
Cliff and Shelby looked at each other in confusion. Shelby jerked his head up almost immediately. "Oh no, not again. You're not going to distract me and disappear again."
"No, it's just that Cliff is so pathetic he needs to dwell on other's fantasies," Albel said in a dry tone.
"I'll bite your ear for that! It was a joke. J-O-K-E."
"Yeah right," Albel replied crossing his arms. "You're a goose."
Cliff frowned at him (much like a little kid). "Well, if I'm a goose then you are the sweet-n-sour sauce!"
"You moron! You don't serve sweet-n-sour sauce with goose." Albel was clearly insulted.
"Alright guys! Enough's enough. Your bickering is giving me a headache." Shelby grabbed Cliff by the collar and proceeded to drag him away.
"A sail, a sail!" Cliff repeated as he was dragged out of sight.
Albel turned to resume his walk and ran face first into Ursus.
"Hey you?" Peppita called from Ursus' shoulder. "Yeah, you're the blockhead I'm looking fer aint ya?"
"Took you long enough to get here."
Albel glared at Peppita. Peppita glared at Albel. Ursus resumed work on his cross-stitch.
"Well," Peppita said breaking the silence. "Nelly sent me here. And blah blah blah. You got a time and place for me to pass to her or not?"
"Yeah, maggot. Tell the wench to meet me at Father Mirage's house at 2 o'clock."
Upon hearing this, Mirage strolled by and smacked Albel over the head with a club. "Call me father one more time and you die!" With that she swung the club over her shoulder and whistled as she walked away.
Albel stood up and massaged his head. "Well, get to it then." He turned to walk away.
"Hey," Peppita said as she hopped off Ursus' shoulder. "You know it's customary to tip."
Albel turned. "Wise man say: never argue with man who has bigger sword."
Albel smirked as he walked away.
"Huh? Ursus, did you understand that."
"Yes, little lady. He said to get to the message giving or he would kill you."
"Oh," Peppita smiled. "Okay, let's go tell Nelly."
END ACT II, SCENE IV
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Well, there you go. Two more scenes. We'll be doing two scenes at a time from now on unless a scene is really long or too short (then we'll add or subtract one depending). Hope you enjoyed our very stupid humor.