Disclaimer: Yeah, you guessed it so we aint sayin' it.

Note: It's been right over a month since I updated this one. So sorry, though I'm not sure how this chapter turned out. It's only one scene because we're so late with it and it did come out long. So, here we go…um, it's not as good as I would have liked though.

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CAST (in order of appearance) Shakespeare characters – SO:TTEOT characters

Mercutio – Cliff

Benvolio - Shelby

Tybalt – Fayt

Romeo – Albel

Cast Extras – Just read and find out. (Don't want to spoil it)

Prince – Commodore Wittcomb

Lady Capulet – Lasselle

Lady Montague - Woltar

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ACT III, SCENE I

Cliff and Shelby were walking down a street in Arias. Yes, just the two of them minding their own business. There were no monkeys, or bunnies…just Cliff and Shelby.

"Ah, come on Cliff. We should be getting home. It's hot and I'm tired!" Shelby wined.

"Why don't we go to the tavern instead? You look like you could use a drink."

"Oh, I do?" Shelby eyed Cliff angrily.

"Come, come, you're such a hot head. I'm beginning to wonder how moody you are. Now, move."

"And where to?" asked Shelby.

"Why to the tavern, of course. Why do you always have to argue with me? Besides, the tavern has those nice bowls of free peanuts! Let's not fight when we can eat peanuts. Oh joy in the salty goodness. While you stand here and argue, we could be else where having more fun."

Shelby shook his head. "An I were so apt to quarrel with you as you claim, then we would be home. But nooooo, you insist on peanuts. The fee-simple I say!"

"The fee-simple!" chanted Cliff in agreement. "Um, wait, what does that mean?"

"Oh, never mind. Look, here comes Fayt."

"Humph," Cliff responded, crossing his arms. "He's a traitor. Why should I care if he's coming?"

"Hey, what's up guys?" Fayt approached the two. He was covered in bandaids.

"Ohhh, pretty boy here thinks he can just walk up and talk to us like nothing happened."

Fayt gave Cliff a hurt look. "Aw, please just hear me out?"

Cliff proceeded to plug his ears with his fingers. "I can't hear you…nenner nenner na na."

"Never mind then!" puffed Fayt. "I'll go talk to Albel then."

Cliff raised his eyebrow, removing his fingers from his ears. "Huh? What, Shelby's been arguing with me…don't you want to argue too?"

"Nope."

"Aw, minstrels and fiddlesicks!" exclaimed Cliff. "Well, maybe we should just dance the dance of stupor bliss and pray for the rain! The planets should be in the proper alignment now."

Cliff started to dance, causing everyone on the street to stop and stare.

Shelby tugged on Cliff's shirt, causing him to spin out of control and fall. "Cliff! Please, we're in public here. You are my grievance and everyone is watching!"

"Aw man, I was just getting my groove on. If they want to look then let them look." Cliff stood and balled his fist in a typical victory pose. "But none can dance as I!" he yelled proudly.

Shelby hung his head and Fayt looked around for a way out. He quickly spotted Albel. "Oh goodie! Here comes my man…um, that doesn't sound right. Rephrase! Here comes Albel."

Cliff glared at Fayt. "Riiight, rephrase. I bet you follow him everywhere huh? Guess the rumor's true about you then."

Fayt crossed his arms and gave his best pouty lipped face. "Albel, make him stop teasing me. He's…he's a villain!"

Albel stared blankly at him. "It was a draw. A stupid tie. The wench is good, I'll give her that. But to catch me in a stalemate!" Albel looked at the trio. Realizing what he said he quickly changed the subject. "I see no villain. Well, gotta go."

"That's it!" Fayt yelled. "No one takes me seriously. You have injured me and now you must pay." Fayt drew his oversized sword and once again crashed to the ground under its weight.

Albel let out a giggle. "That's right, challenge me when you learn to walk and not crawl. Now, I must go."

"Wait a minute," Cliff broke in. "You're not going anywhere for I wield the power of Alla Stoccata! Dishonorable and vile is this not to fight when the cosmic order is such to provide prowess submission!"

"I think he's gone a little too long without sleep," Shelby whispered to Albel. Albel nodded his head in agreement.

Cliff balled his fist. "Fayt, you bird-catcher, will you walk?"

Fayt stood up and lifted his heavy sword. "Bananas feel the wrath of a tortilla knife!"

Cliff smiled. "Good. The king of cats demands a sacrifice. You will die nine times and in that I will revive you only eight. Now, pluck your sword as a harp and hang it by the ears. Are you with me?"

Fayt nodded. "I'm with ya."

Albel and Shelby exchanged looks. "Seems neither one has had much sleep. They're both loony."

Albel stepped between the two. "The king of cats is dead. I killed him and he's dead you hear. Now go; both of you should be off to bed."

"Fight for the Alamo!" Cliff yelled.

"Down with the solar plexus!" Fayt yelled back.

"Photons! Yes, bright and shiny photons. And moonpies!"

"Nay I say, forbidden pansies!"

Shelby and Albel watched the two. "This has gone on for too long," Albel muttered. Fayt took a step toward Cliff just in time to trip over Albel's extended foot.

"Ahhhh," Fayt screamed as he stumbled forward, his sword impaling Cliff.

Cliff fell and touched his wound. Bringing his fingers to his face he studied the blood. "Goodbye cruel world. It's getting dark. The lights…the lights are fading. Tell everyone I send my love. Goodbye dear friends." Cliff closed his eyes.

Shelby looked at him in disbelief. "Yo dude, it's a flesh wound. A scratch. He got you in the arm. It'll heal."

Cliff opened one eye. "Ay, ay where is my pony? I need a doctor! Or is it already too late?"

Albel shook his head. "Drama queen."

"Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat, to scratch a man to death! This is a one-way trip to the grave. By the books, men, by the books. I was wounded. Oh my arm! A braggart, a rouge, a villain of mine department. Forever lost is this world to my many gifts and talents." Cliff let out his 'final' breath.

"Maybe this is for the best," Albel said crossing his arms and smirking.

Cliff opened both his eyes suddenly. "Of plagues and worms to you… of plagues and worms' meat. Oh, can I have a lolly pop and a snow cone?"

Shelby turned to Albel. "Should I drag him away now?"

"No need," Mirage responded as she pulled Cliff into her wheelbarrow. "I got it." She whistled merrily as she wheeled the unconscious man away.

"Okay then," Shelby said looking around. "I guess I'll go catch the double feature at the drive-in."

"Way to go Fayt," Albel said as he approached the sleep deprived wanna-be swordsman. "Looks like I can get out of my half of the bargain with Fath…err Mirage now."

Shelby walked by them. "Sorry, seems the drive-in is in that direction."

"Um, should we tell him that you need a car to get into a drive-in?" Fayt asked as they watched Shelby leave.

"Naw, he'll be fine. Today had started bright and now has turned to black. Yes, truly a thing to be welcomed. Woe that days of such should end."

"You didst your part. With your help I fell on Cliff and now he is gone. Good show! The bunnies would be proud."

"BUNNIES!" Albel wailed in anger. He smacked Fayt in the head with his claw, causing him to blackout.

Albel bent down and poked Fayt a few times in the arm. When he got no response, he smiled wildly. "O, I am fortune's fool! O, happy me!"

"Noooo," screamed Sophia as she ran to Fayt's side. She lifted his head and held it tenderly in her lap. "Alas, poor Fayt! I knew him. Oh of my most excellent fancy: he hath left and abhorred in my imagination. Here are those lips that I have longed to kiss."

"Yeah!" Albel responded sarcastically. "Wrong play."

"Um, I'm not dead."

Sophia screamed in Fayt's face. She stood suddenly, dropping his head on the ground and knocking him completely unconscious. "It's a ghost!" She ran, and ran fast.

Albel stood and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess I'll go home now."

Albel walked away just before Commodore Wittcomb appeared. "What is this? Did I not say to fight was to die! O vile be this fray."

Shelby passed by the Commodore. "Um, do you know which way it is to the drive-in?"

Wittcomb was about to respond, but Lasselle cut him off. "O my! Finally, someone has rid us of the traitor Fayt."

"I'm…not…dead," Fayt spoke weakly. Everyone ignored him.

"Shelby, who did this?"

Shelby scratched his head. "I think Albel did. You see, Albel tripped Fayt and made Fayt stab Cliff. Cliff over-dramatized the whole things and faked his death and was then carried off by Father Mirage."

Shelby's eyes opened wide as he fell to his knees. In his back was a dozen ninja throwing stars. "I heard that!" screamed Mirage.

Coughing, Shelby struggled to finish his story. "Then Albel (cough) got mad when Fayt took the name of the bunnies in vain (cough) and hit Fayt in the head." Shelby coughed one last time and died.

Lasselle squealed. "Oh goodie. That's three down…who else is going to die today?"

Wittcomb patted Lasselle on the back. "Why yes, the day has turned better then expected. And to whom to we owe this too again?"

"I think Albel was the one to start his chaotic massacre." Woltar replied, just appearing out of nowhere.

"Ah, good Albel," repeated Wittcomb. "We must find him so we can throw him a party. Yes, a lovely lovely party with pink streamers, circus clowns and samurais."

"Um, Commodore – Albel's samurai-o-phobic."

"Nonsense! Everyone loves samurais!" Wittcomb gave the men a thumbs up. "Alright, now, go find Albel and I'll go plan the party."

The three of them left the scene. A flock of blue birds appeared and surrounded Fayt. They inched closer, their beady eyes set. They licked their lips.

"I'm not dead! Um, someone…anyone…a little help?"

END ACT III, SCENE I

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Blue's Notes: Okay guys, I'm a little disappointed in this installment. Sorry. I really hope the next chapter turns out better. I guess after writing so much action and suspense, I lost the humor bug. My brother helped a lot…and when re-reading it I just couldn't come up with ways to change it any. I'll work harder on the next chapter, promise.