"Erik?" I asked the next morning over breakfast. He set down his saucer and waited for me to continue. "I…I was wondering if you'd…"
"My dear, you may ask me anything you like." I sighed softly.
"Would you let me visit my mother today?" The expression on his face remained somber, but I saw his eyes flash with something akin to disappointment the moment the words were out. "I swear I would go to her home only," I tried to reason, "and it would just be for a few hours. She is so lonely, and she worries about me. Please."
"Christine," he said gently, "I know how much you miss your mother."
"Then I may go?" I asked eagerly. He nodded, and there was something sad in his decision.
"Yes, but you must promise to return tonight. Will you do that for me, Christine?"
"Yes," I said firmly, and then: "I should hurry, if I do not want to be late coming home." The word home rolled off my tongue so freely that I didn't have time to bite it back, but I instantly regretted it. Erik showed no acknowledgement of the statement, but I was sure he had noticed it for what it was: a sign of my growing attachment to him and his world. Head bent, I went quickly to retrieve my coat.
"I will escort you out to the carriage," he told me at the door, and I nodded, taking the arm he offered me.
At the gate to the Rue Scribe I paused, and turned to him. "Thank you," I said, "for letting me visit her. Your trust means a great deal to me."
He continued to simply stare at my face, and when I looked down to avoid his intensity I noticed that his hands were shaking as they inched closer to mine, but he pulled his gloved—gloved!—hand back, and clenched it into a fist of pitiful self control. I had not noticed all morning that he had been wearing gloves, and the revelation startled me. Why wear gloves now, when his hands had been openly displayed for the past two weeks? Because he wants contact, my mind answered. Because he longs for affection.
Poor, unhappy Erik! How could I be so cruel as to deny him a touch of my hand? Surely I would do as much for a friend, for Raoul… Shaking all thoughts of the Viscount from my mind, I took Erik's gloved hand in mine, and gently squeezed my flesh against the material. The ring Erik had given me rubbed like a soothing reminder against his own finger. When I looked up at him I saw that he had his eyes closed, and dull tears ran from out from under them.
"Oh, Christine," he whispered reverently, and then, as his eyes opened: "You should be quick, my dear."
"I will be," I said softly. I firmly pressed my hand against his once more before untangling our fingers, and falling from his grasp. I vowed not to look behind me as I fled to the carriage.
I took my coat off at the door, and hung it on the rack before inquiring of the maid my adoptive mother's whereabouts.
"She's in her room, as usual," the woman sighed, and I nodded in gratitude.
When I came into the room, Mama Valerius squinted as though registering my presence. Then she broke out into a grin that was full of both relief and joy. "Oh, Christine!" she exclaimed. "I was beginning to think your angel would never let you visit! Come, my child, sit at my side. I want to hear all about what has happened!" I sighed and guiltily shifted my eyes to the side before doing as told.
"Oh, mama," I shook my head slowly, "nothing—well, I mean…" How could I tell her, the woman who had believed so strongly in the angel of music for my sake?
"Child, you're trembling!" her voice resounded with concern. She put a hand to my face, and I closed my eyes against the comforting gesture. "You must not keep silent," she said gently, "you will worry me to death!"
"It is nothing bad, mama," I tried to argue, but my tears betrayed me. She took her hand in mine, and then stilled, rubbing her thumb over my ring finger. The ring! It was too late to pull back, and I could only bite my lip in anticipation.
"A wedding band?" she breathed. "Christine, when did this happen?"
"It-it was a gift, mama. I'm not yet married."
"But you intend to be." It was not a question. "Was it a gift from your angel, child?"
"Yes," I said softly, eyeing the band instead of returning her gaze. "But—"
"Then he does love you," she said, and her voice took on a warm tone.
"Yes, he does," I said, swallowing down the smile that threatened to overtake my features. "But it isn't what you think. He—"
Our conversation was interrupted by the intrusion of Raoul de Chagny as he burst into the room. We stared at each other, his eyes wide as though I were a ghost, and mine wide in shock. I had no idea what business he had in coming to my mother's home, but I was sure he hadn't expected to find me with her. I rose quickly from my place at Mama Valerius' side, and politely held my hand out for him to take. My eyes narrowed in confusion when he did not receive the gesture, and I let my hand drop.
"Raoul?" I asked.
"M. de Chagny!" Mama chimed in, sitting up against her headboard to take the scene in. "Do you not know our Christine? Her good genius had sent her back to us!" Her eyes sparkled as she glanced to me.
"Mama, hush!" My tone was not disrespectful, but worried. "Raoul, what are you doing here?"
"Her good genius, madam?" Raoul replied, completely ignoring the question I had posed. "I would not receive him with such warmth and praise. Not if you had seen what I saw just last night. But you have transformed yourself, Christine. Where is the pallor and deathly rings that colored your face when last we met?"
"Raoul, I do not know what you are talking about, but I beg of you to keep silent until I have had a chance to explain these events to my mother." The desperation and anger in my voice did nothing to calm him.
"Why not explain to us both what has been going on, Christine? Believe me when I tell you that your safety interests me more than you know, and I cannot sit by while you hold that fatal tongue of yours! I have been your friend too long not be alarmed by your behavior, and this journey you are adamant about taking alone will drag us all down. I cannot watch as you become his victim!"
My lips parted in shock at the audacity of his words. How dare he speak so wildly of things knew so little of! Mama tossed about in her bed, and I turned my glaring features from his face.
"What are you talking about?" she cried. "Is Christine is danger?" I shook my head at Raoul, begging him to wait, to keep silent, anything but answer what I knew he would.
"Yes, Madame," he replied bravely.
"Heavens!" Mama gasped. "You must tell me everything, Christine! Why did you try to reassure me?" I glanced helplessly from her to Raoul. "What danger is this, M. Chagny?"
"Mama, there is no danger! Raoul, stop this at once! You know nothing of what you are speaking!"
"Then let me hear your version, mademoiselle!" I opened my mouth, but I could not tell him. After I had shut it, he continued. "I know enough to know that an imposter is abusing your good faith," he spat lightly.
"The angel of music is an imposter?" Mama asked, bewildered. It was too much to bare, and as I clamped my hands over my ears I cried:
"There is no angel of music!" My heavy breaths were the loudest sounds in the still room. I looked apologetically to my mother as my arms lowered to my sides. Raoul's eyes fell with my arms, and it wasn't until I saw his almost frightened expression that I knew what had caught his attention. Blushing furiously, I tried to hide my hand in the folds of my dress, but it was too late.
"A wedding band, mademoiselle?" he asked gravely.
"It was a gift!" I argued, clutching the hand that wore it. "Only a gift, for I have no husband and I'll never marry!" Raoul's eyes narrowed cynically as he tried unsuccessfully to hide his hurt.
"As you have no husband, that ring could only have been given by the man who wishes to make you his wife! Why torture me still more, Christine? That ring you wear is a promise, and that promise has been accepted!"
"That is what I said!" Mama chimed in.
"And what she answer?" he asked. Grabbing a hold of his sleeve, I turned him back to me and answered exasperatedly:
"What I chose! Raoul, I have permitted this rude interrogation to go on for long enough. It is time you left!"
"Forgive me," he said, but there was no sincerity in his eyes. "It is concern that has driven me to meddle in affairs you no doubt believe have nothing to do with me. But allow me, mademoiselle, to tell you what I have seen, or think that I have seen. Trust me when I say it is more than you suspect." My blood ran cold as I asked:
"And what do you believe you have seen?"
"I saw your ecstasy at the sound of his voice beyond the wall! Yes, your absolute ecstasy! That is what makes me ill, Christine, knowing you are under a dangerous spell. And yet you seem aware of this imposter, because today you have admitted that there is no angel of music. Why did you follow him, then? Why did you stand up, features radiant, as though you were really hearing angels? It is a dangerous voice, for I too was fascinated by the sound of it, so much that I did not see you pass, but you must have, because where the voice went I am sure you followed! In the name of heaven and your father who resides there now, tell us to whom the voice belongs! Come, Christine, the name of the man! The name of the man who has the audacity to put a ring on your finger!"
"I would not speak of his audacity after the display I have seen from you today, M. de Chagny," I replied gravely. "As for the answer you so desperately seek, you will never know his name." My mind was wild with rage at the thought of him, once again, spying on me. How dare he belittle me so, and characterize Erik as something so vicious!
"If she does love that man," Mama said, raising her voice on my behalf, "it is none of your concern."
"Alas, madam," Raoul spoke softly, and the gleam of unshed tears in his eyes was enough to make me regret my words, "I believe she does love him. But it is not only this that drives me to despair. I am quite certain the man Christine loves is not worthy of her love!"
"I am to be the judge of that!" I said, and thought of how idiotic my friend sounded. He obviously thought himself a much more worthy choice, but his actions were proving him to be spiteful and ill tempered.
"When a man," continued Raoul, "adopts such romantic methods to entice a young girl's affections…"
"The man is a villain, or the girl is a fool? Is that it?" I asked harshly.
"Christine!" he pleaded, but I shook my head fervently.
"Why do you insist on condemning a man you have never seen, whom no one knows and whom you yourself know nothing of? It cannot be for my welfare so much as your own jealousy!" I spat the last part, evoking from him an affronted glare.
"At least I know the name of the man, the name you thought to keep from me forever. Your angel of music is called Erik!" My heart hammered in my chest, only adding to the sickly dizziness that overtook me in that moment. I could feel my blood draining from me, leaving me with a ghostly pallor.
"How-how did you—"
"You told me yourself mademoiselle, by answering him the other night in your dressing room. 'I am here, Erik.' Were those not your elated words? Tell me if I am wrong!"
"This is the second time you have listened at my door!" I accused, clenching my fists.
"I was not listening outside the door, I was watching from inside your dressing room!"
"Inside my…! Oh, Raoul," I moaned, "Did you want to be killed?"
"Perhaps," he said softly, and that one word was so full of love and despair that I truly felt regret for all of the harsh words spoken between us in this last hour. Taking his hands in mine, I spoke with gentle urgency.
"Raoul, you must forget the man's voice. Do not even remember his name. And I beg you, above all, not to come to my dressing room again, unless I send for you."
"And will you promise to send for me sometime, Christine?"
"I cannot…"
"Then I cannot do as you ask."
"Raoul…" I sighed dejectedly. "Fine, if I can send for you, I will try tomorrow."
"If I see you then, I swear to do as you have asked." He took my hand in his and kissed it lightly. My flesh still tingled from where his flesh met mine, even after he had gone. It was there in the silence that I began to sob, burying my face in my hands and coming to kneel by my mama. She put her arm around me, trying to bring me near with comforting pats.
"Oh, mama!" I cried. All I heard in response was the gentle rhythm of her Shhh's, but it was enough.
"Christine," she spoke gently after I had calmed, "I do not wish to make you speak of things that obviously upset you so, but I am so worried, child. I want to be your confidant; you do not have to endure this secrecy, and I promise not to tell the Viscount." I brushed the tears from my eyes, and took in a deep breath.
"Do not believe him, Mama, when he says I am in danger. Yes, the angel is a man, but he is a good man, and I trust him because he loves me, and he would never harm me! Never…" I paused. "Please do not ask for any more answers. I promise one day to reveal everything."
"But do you love him?" she insisted. I shut my eyes tightly.
"Do not ask me."
A/N: Geez, I finally got this one out! Sorry about the wait, although it wasn't near as long as last time, but I've been busy. Anyway, I did not like this chapter, or I can't stand the first half. I know it's fluffier than usual, and I'm sorry for that. Any suggestions would be REALLY appreciated. Thank you!
Quiet2885—Hunt me down? Good thing I came back, then, lol. Thank you so much, your reviews are always very uplifting. I hope this chapter was in character, but I'm really not sure. I felt like I was being a little cruel to Raoul, hehe. Oh well, the fop can shove it. ;)
Clever Lass—Thank you! And yes, I do believe I'll have her take his ungloved hand somewhere in the very near future. hinthint
Hsibelius—Awww, thank you! Your compliment on my characterization of Erik means a lot! )
Wendela—Actually, I lost my book before writing the last chapter, and I still have not been able to find it. So, I've been using an online translation as a resource. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it from someone else's POV, and I think your very correct in your characterization of Raoul: 'He's a spoiled pampered baby-boy, who begins to cry and start with self-pity immediately every time someone denies him something.' I looked for your story, but I only got to read the first chapter. It was very good from what I saw, and I'll try to finish it today.
Barb—Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!
Ivy—Thank you, and don't worry, I won't stop this fic until it's absolutely done.
Reading Redhead—Thank you for not killing over SW, hehe. OMG GUESS WHAT! I saw Wicked on Saturday! Squuuuuuueeeee! You are going to LOVE it! –hugs- Stephanie J. Block is amazing as Elphaba! Okay, I'm calm now…right, back to the fic. I also wanted to thank you for forgiving my inconsistencies. It felt weird to pick up this fic again, so it was comforting to know you could understand.
A tragic Concept—Wow, you're the first person to bring up the dinner part from chapter twelve. I'm glad you liked it because I was a little afraid over it when no one replied to it. Anyway, thank you!
Ally—Haha, it's good to know someone doesn't mind the lack of Raoul. Too bad he's in it for most of this chapter. pout
Miranda—LOL! Nice idea to try and out-do Blaze's reviews in length, but I'm afraid she holds a record that can't be broken. –sigh- Thank you so much for beta-ing for me, it's very nice of you! Oh, and about the whole E/M fic thing…Um…I'm not sure I'm completely sucked out. –dodges fruit- I can't help it! Sorry about the Ballet Rat thing, too. I'll go back and change it, because, yes, I have been watching the movie a little too often, and it's affecting my mind. I have to keep reminding myself Raoul is not so hideous a person, and Erik is not sex on legs. Well, actually, that last part's debatable. ;) Also, I had a bit of a dilemma with the whole 'poor Erik' thing. With the way I set things up, she had no reason to pity Erik at that moment. Oh well, hopefully things worked out despite my changes. Thank you so much for the compliments on the holding hands part, I wasn't so sure about that. Although, I was in the fluffiest mood when I wrote this chapter, so I know I'll probably get some negative feedback on it. Oh well, I'm feeling impatient over their slow relationship. Again, thank you so much for beta-ing! –hugs- I hope you like this chapter, too!
Sariah Patterson—I know, I know, even I feel depressed writing these chapters some times because I can't make Christine jump on Erik, lol. But I'm trying to make this fic realistic, and in Leroux universe things move very slowly. Anyway, I'm glad you like it besides, and don't forget that I will end this E/C and there will be lovey-dovey goodness galore! ;)
NightDemoness— -glomps back- Ummm, in a galaxy far far away. ;)
Mini Nicka—Thanks and yes, Erik just may get his wish!