Disclaimer: Nothing new to report here.

Note: Yeah…well…let me just say I tried. This is now a one person show, meaning I had no help so in turn – by reading this – you will see where most of my humoric drive comes from (my brother). Chapter 5 got the most reviews, and while I did most of that chapter on my own I still had my brother to back me up and help with editing. Right now, it's just me…

This fic was last updated January 15th! That's a loooooong time. I had to do something.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

CAST (in order of appearance) Shakespeare characters – SO:TTEOT characters

Juliet – Nel

Nurse – Peppita

Friar Laurence – Mirage

Extra Cast - ? (Yeah, here we go again XD)

Lady Capulet – Lasselle

ACT III, SCENE II

Enter Nel, in the White Dew Garden – the garden is in a room, much like a fancy greenhouse.

Nel paced in front of the fountain, note pad in hand as she wrote in her diary.

"Oh dearest of diary. One day pass and my fight was thus brought to an end, a winner never found. He's like a steed – a blazed and relentless in his gallop. Oh how I long for night so to mask myself in battle once more. Spread thy closed curtain, gore wielding night so that I may leap into the arms of victory! Come, civil night, like an angel of black to bestow upon me my wish. Night so…Aw, forget this rubbish!"

Nel slammed her diary on the ground and proceeded to stomp it. "I don't care if it's night or not, I'll pummel him no matter!"

Enter Peppita, tangled in cords

"Ahhh, the cords!"

Nel gave her an un-amused look. "So, you have wrapped yourself up in string. To what do I own this pleasure to?"

"He's dead! He's dead! Ouchie!" Peppita tangled her self further and fell. "He's kill'd!"

Nel just crossed her arms, offering the girl no help. "Kill'd? Is that even a real word?"

"I don't know. Stupid string. Hey, can ya cut me loose or something?"

"Something," Nel answered. "And who's dead?"

Peppita twisted more in the string before giving up and becoming still. "Ah! Albel!"

"Albel? Is Albel dead? Oh, who ever is responsible for stealing my kill will pay!"

"I saw the wound with my own eyes! The blood…gore…I swounded!"

"Swounded? That's it! You are not allowed to talk to me until you have read a dictionary from front to back." Peppita gave her a wounded look. "O, break my heart!" Nel responded sarcastically. "You vile earth! I shall kill you and then the one who did slay Albel shall fall."

"No, Fayt! O courteous Fayt, an honest gentleman. He's no more than food for the birds."

"I think that string has cut off circulation to your brain. So, you say that both Albel and Fayt are dead?"

"Oh, no. Fayt, Cliff and Shelby are dead. A party is being thrown in honor for Albel."

Nel shook her head. "And how do you know all this?"

"Cliff told me!" she replied happily. "He told me in passing from the wheelbarrow that Father Mirage was pushing."

A swarm of small daggers fell from the ceiling on the girl. The string that had become entangled with Peppita spared her from injury. Once freed the girl leapt up and twirled in 'Happy Dance'.

"Grrr! There can be only one!" Mirage shouted as she jumped from the chandelier. She landed gracefully on her feet and drew a katana blade. "Off with her head!"

"Eek!" Peppita shouted running circles around Nel.

Mirage stayed fast on her heels. "First, I'll chop off your head. Then I'll stuff your mouth with garlic and remove your heart. After that – I'm going to Disney World!" She let out a villainous laugh. "Then we'll see who the immortal one is!"

"Kinda violent, don't you think Mirage?"

Mirage stopped and smiled sweetly at Nel. "Nope. Worked on Romero."

"DID NOT!" Romero shouted appearing at the fountain. Around his neck was a thick wounding of duck tape (to hold his head on) and there was an unsightly hole in his chest. "It only works if you remove the heart, not the liver."

Mirage hung her head. "I knew I should have paid more attention in biology class. Wasn't my fault I got stuck with Cliff as a lab partner. How was I supposed to hear the teacher with the distraction?"

"Daddy!" Peppita shouted; jumping on Romero's back.

"AH! Get it off! O villain! O vile matter of guacamole." Romero ran straight at Mirage, frantic for help.

Mirage promptly thrust her blade through both Romero and Peppita.

"Awe man! Whatcha do that for?" Romero asked in a high pitch voice. "You just added another hole to my shirt!"

"You're shirt? What about me? Blood stains are so hard to come out." Peppita echoed his highly annoying tone.

Mirage pulled her blade back and stomped away. "That's it! I'm going back to school. Next time I will not miss any vital organs."

Lasselle appeared at the door just seconds before Mirage could exit. "What is all the shouting for? Oh, Father Mirage, so good of you to visit."

Without a word, Mirage thumped Lasselle in the nose. We all know how 'fragile' Lasselle is, so in doing this she caused him to fall over dead. Cheering back up, Mirage hummed to herself as she left.

"Well then," Nel said inspecting the room around her. "I guess I have a party to crash."

Miles away from Nel, on a deserted street, a boy called for help. None could hear his cries as he drug himself needlessly across the ground. "I'm…not…dead!"

END ACT III, SCENE II

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

CAST (in order of appearance) Shakespeare characters – SO:TTEOT characters

Friar Laurence – Mirage

Romeo – Albel

Nurse – Peppita

Oh, and Cliff's in it too...

ACT III, SCENE III

Mirage hummed happily the whole way home. She might have missed her opportunity of ridding the world of Romero and Peppita but the day had not been a total loss. Lassell was no more. She entered her house ready to shift through her mail when she was greeted by Albel.

"Ah, Albel," she spoke motioning him in. "Come forth. You look fearful. To what calamity do I owe this visit?"

Albel grumbled to himself as he entered the house. After a few steps he tripped over a large bundle on the floor. "Huh? What's this? The prince of doom?" Albel studied the lump.

Mirage turned on the lights, revealing Cliff gagged and bound. She bent down and stoked his hair. "Nay, this is my dear. The prince of doom has escaped me once more and now I should plan my revenge." She looked up from the frightened Cliff and smiled at Albel. "I bring thee tidings from Commodore Wittcomb."

Albel placed his chin in his hand. "I suppose I did break his rule. So, what kind of death has he proclaimed for me?"

Lightning flashed beyond the windows. "A cruel judgment vanish'd from his lips. Not a simple death, but a party instead."

"Party?"

"With Samurais"

"Ha, Samurais! Be merciful and say 'death'!" Albel hugged himself; growing pale. "For Samurais are just creepy! Terror has no form more horrid."

"Oh for the sake of Apris' fourth wife, be patient. It's just a party."

"Fourth wife? I thought he only had three."

"Ah, yeah. Moving right along. Thy fault our law calls death; but Wittcomb has been kind. To you mercy be shown."

Albel shifted closer to the door. "'Tis torture, not mercy. Purgatory be bound here so that every unworthy thing can be free of the wrath of the Samuria. But Albel may not. Albel wants only to seize the red wonder of Nel and to impale her mortally. Even in adulterated and lewd acts, still struggle to defeat her. But Albel may not, he is to go to a party. Ah how I wish I could fly!"

"Um, yeah," Mirage replied crossing her arms. "You are truly insane. First you speak of yourself in the third person and then talk of flying? Need I remind you that the fresh sage is for healing and not smoking?"

"You can smoke it?"

Mirage grunted as she slapped her forehead. "It wasn't to be taken literally; though should you try I will be happy to dance…I mean weep at your funeral."

Albel eyed her. "So you can't smoke it."

"Can you not accept the sweet milk, metaphor?"

"Metaphor…let us not dwell on what is not."

A knock on the door interrupted them. Unlike normal visitors, this one did not wait before opening the door. Peppita happily let herself in. "I thought I might find you here Albel!"

"O woful sympathy on me…come Samurai and take me now lest I should be forced to hear words from this brat!"

"Very funny, Albel," Peppita replied dryly. "I bring word from Nel. She plans to crash your party and hopefully your head."

"And she did send you here to tell me of this?"

"Nope, I just heard her fuming."

Albel smirked. "As if that would calm me so. I shall strike as if shot from the deadly level of a gun and in doing so claim my victory."

After struggling, Cliff finally managed to spit the gag from his mouth. "The unreasonable fury of a beast. Seemingly or ill-seemingly in a seeming way you have amazed me. Why rail'st on fight, blood and victory? Have you no love for heart shaped licorice sticks? There may be power yet in a skirtless soldier though you know this not. You are too happy with Samurai on the horizon. And let us not forget my death. Woe to me that none morn for Cliff! If only the flaring ponies would cmmmmmmmm."

Mirage clamped her hand over his mouth. "Tut, tut, my dear. Should you learn to be silent then you could spare yourself the gag. If you can be quiet and be a good boy then I'll let you watch 'Happy time with Luther'. Tonights episode is titled 'Synthesizing corrupt data and the Hoky Poky'."

Cliff promptly nodded.

"Thanks, Father Mirage. If you hadn't stopped him we might all be here all night! Now, Albel, I'll see you at the party. Be ready." With that Peppita skipped merrily out the door.

Mirage shot up. "Don't. Call. Me. Father!" She darted out the door after the girl.

Once Mirage was gone Cliff looked up at Albel. "Say, can you untie me?"

Albel sent him a death glare. "Like I really want Mirage after me? My feud is with Nel. Besides, I'm a one girl guy. After I kill Nel I might contemplate taking on Mirage."

Albel left before Cliff could give him another speech.

Not to far from Mirage's house, a boy clung to the wall. The support offered was not required but the boy took it as he hopped on one foot. "Why won't they believe me?" he cried. Behind him a horde of beady eyes watched his every movement. He turned when the sound of talons scratching the street run behind him. "I'm not dead, you hear me! NOT DEAD!"

END ACT III, SCENE III

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Blue's Notes: Congratulations on reading this far. It means I didn't kill anyone! XD

Hey, I can make fun of myself – I give myself full permission to pick on me.