ASHIDO

"Mina, what are you doing?"

Mina hurriedly dragged Ochako into her hiding spot behind a potted plant. "Ssh… be vewy, vewy qwiet."

"Why are you wearing a cowboy hat?"

"It's a disguise."

"That vest too? And is that a pistol on your hip?"

"I bowwowed it fwom Snipe."

"And why are you speaking with an accent? You sound like-"

Mina pressed a finger over Ochako's lips. "He's a vewy twicky Midowiya. He can heaw anything. I'm tawking wike this so he doesn't heaw me coming."

"And why," Ochako asked in a harsh whisper, "Are you stalking Izuku in a cowboy outfit?"

"I've hugged evewybody ewse in the schoow," Mina complained, "But Midowiya? Evewy time I twy to hug him, he wuns away fwom me! So, I'm going to give him a supwise hug!"

"Maybe there's a good reason that Izuku doesn't want a hug from you?" Ochako asked. "And maybe you should respect other peoples' boundaries?"

"I'm suwe Midowiya's just shy. One hug, and he'll come awound. You'll see!"

"I don't know, this doesn't seem like a good-"

"Ssh! He's coming!"

Izuku's footsteps clanked down the hallway. Eyes staring blankly forward, feet moving in clunky, robotic movements, Izuku stomped past their hiding spot behind the tree without a sideways glance.

"Got you!" Mina shouted as she wrapped her arms around Izuku. Under her hug, Izuku's skin bubbled. Within seconds, his entire body melted into a fizzling metallic puddle at Mina's feet.

"What did you do?" Ochako shouted.

"I don't know!" Mina tried scooping the puddle back into an Izuku-like shape, only for it to slip through her fingers. "I didn't even use my Quirk! Quick, call Recovery Girl, she can fix him!"

"From a puddle?"

"She fixed Mineta after those heroes pounded him into grape jelly last week!"

"Good point. I'll go get her."

As Ochako turned around, she came face to face with Izuku. He leaned against the potted plant and took a bite out of a metal carrot. It made sharp screeching sounds as Izuku's teeth ripped it apart.

"Eh… what's up Mina?"

"Izuku?" Mina glanced between Izuku and the puddle. "What? How?"

"Simulation of Ashido Hug complete. Estimated probability of survival, 0.0062%. Continuing evasive protocol."

"You get back here you wascilly varmint!"

Mina lunged towards Izuku, who hopped into a hole in the floor. Mina narrowly missed him and went flying into a stack of papers Cemnetoss had in his arms, scattering graded paperwork all over the place.

As Ochako watched the comedy unfold, Recovery Girl stopped by. "Ah, you look a little pale, dearie," she told the puddle. "A kiss and a gummie will fix you right up."

When she kissed the puddle, a gaping maw, ringed by grasping tentacles, rose from the metallic murk. As it spoke in an Eldritch tongue and grabbed at Ochako, Recovery Girl stuck a gummy in its mouth. It gave a glass-shattering wail, and it swallowed itself out of reality with a wet squelch.

"There, all better!"

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