BAKUGO

A lightbulb flickered ominously overhead as Bakugo slammed his palms on the rickety wooden table in front of him. He had a bandana around his head, stripes of warpaint under his eyes, a tinfoil hat, and enough magnets to cripple the cryptocurrency industry by breathing.

"I've gathered you all here today because you know the truth. Izuku Midoriya is a robot."

Monoma, Shinso, Kirishima, and Todoroki all gazed at Bakugo as he gave his speech. Monoma scoffed and said, "Of course you 1-A curs must find a silly excuse on which to blame your failures. A robot, really?"

"Will you deny the evidence of your own Quirk?"

Monoma hesitated. "I do get blanks, sometimes."

"But you still copy something, do you not?"

Shinso gave a tired yawn. "I mean, my Quirk doesn't work either, but it's probably because Izuku's brain is made of silicon."

"See!" Bakugo shouted. "Silicon! Like a robot! Because he is one!"

"I believe you're missing the more obvious truth." Todoroki made a corkboard out of ice and pointed at its glossy surface. "He's clearly a cyborg who time-traveled from the future to save mankind from aliens."

From a trashcan in the corner, Dib, the alien conspiracist quietly stalking Mina from the General Studies course, leapt up and shouted "Exactly!"

Bakugo grabbed Dib and hurled him out of the room. "Cyborg, robot, doesn't matter. Fact is, he's a pawn for the machine menace planning to exterminate mankind."

"A pawn?" Kirishima asked. "Are we playing chess? I'm not very good at playing chess. My dad always says I move the horse thingy wrong. I mean, an L shape is an L shape, right?"

Monoma brought out a chess board with a flourish of his sleeve. "Au contraire, my 1-A simpleton. The Knight has a very fixed movement pattern, though it is unique in that it can move regardless of the placement of other pieces. Allow me to demonstrate…"

Shinso eyed the one-sided chess game and said to Todoroki, "Mind making a second board? I'm bored."

Both chess sets looked identical, but neither side seemed to care as they moved random pieces around.

As Bakugo fumed over his precious 'Death to Izuku the Robot and All Other Robot Menaces' club turned into a chess club, a knock came at the door.

"I detected chess," Izuku said. "Is this a chess club?"

Bakugo grinned. "So, this is your ultimate plan? Distract mankind with board games? Ha! I'll beat you at your own game!"

Izuku 3D-printed a chess set. Bakugo claimed the white pieces and triumphantly pushed a pawn forward two spaces.

"Take that! This is the first step in mankind's triumph over-"

"Checkmate in ninety-six."

Bakugo's eye twitched. He whispered in Todoroki's ear and took the icy miniature shotgun.

"There! Now my king has a shotgun! Take that, Deku!"

Izuku examined the icy addition and 3D printed an arsenal for his own chess pieces.

"Laser rifles. I believe that is checkmate in one."

493

Lelouch approves of the king getting a shotgun. It is his favorite piece.