Disclaimer- YUP whatever it is I DON'T OWN IT! Not the big screen T.V. Or the chocolate fountain,and not even the condoms okay? I'll go weep in silence!
Reviews!
Kyo-kitty: yes yes, well i didn't update soon but at least you have Logan's and Rogue names'!
They-call-me-orange: from now on when i say rocks I'm going to say rawks instead. Just cause it's soo cool! Yes i do like aardvarks. It's my guilty secret. And your right Rogue, Remy and Orange rock! Opps i mean RAWK! Lol
PhantomPunkEvo- i updated! whoo! Hotdog!
Silent Doom: don't worry i'll list them in the next chappie! Well i don't know how to decide who has more macho sexyness... yet but i will find out!
Blood Huntress: Romy and funnyness! That even better than making out with pop rocks in your mouth! Lol
Elmo the Cajun: I luv to make Tabby Scarly evil in my stories. It's just so much fun! Yeah might have went pimp crazy but hey I'm the pimp queen! Wait a second i think I smell a squeal!
Bant: yes chapter 6 was a good chapter but this is so much more BANGING!
CDLOC: Yes indeed it is funny but it's not all fun and games! What it's Toads or John's dream to become a pimp and they Don't make it! That'll just crush their souls! Nah jk..lol
On with the show!
Chapter 7: The gentle art of Popping your collar.
The Day after their secret night of sex, I mean fun! Around 3 in the afternoon...
So after our little group had their extravaganza at the wine cellar they swore never to speak of the pimp-a-thon or Logan vomiting to Xaiver, Storm or Logan. But when a certain person -cough cough- Bobby accident calls Kurt Queen Sult in front of Logan, of course something has to go down.
Jamie and his dupes come running in to the rec room,out of breathe.
"Guys!"
Everyone looks up.
"Bobby-gasps for air- Kurt in Professors-gasps for more air- in his – gasps for a long breathe of air-"
"Spit it out already!" was the unison yell.
"BobbyandKurtinProfessersoffice,LoganknowsKurtsnameandhauledtheminto Xavier'soffice!. Jamie said and in one big breathe and collapsed on the floor. Well he did come all the way from The actual real pimp-a-thon room which happens to be a very good eavesdropping place and is Tabby's secret hut for domination!
"OH FUCK!" was yet again the unison yell, everyone knew Kurt or Bobby would crack under the pressure. They shot up and raced to Xavier's office. But ended up sliding the whole way there.
" Remind meh to punch Kurt in the belly for makin these floor so well waxed!"
"Me too!" everyone agreed right before they all slid into Xavier's office door. Scott thought it was for sure going to be unlocked but hey you win some, lose some.
THUD! CRASH BOOM! CRACK
"Aw shit!"
"Oh and remind meh to punch Scott in tha belly too"
Everyone agreed, well except for Scott, he just wished he had a bigger belly.
------------------------Inside Xavier's office, same time as the crash------------------------
THUD! CRASH BOOM! CRACK
"Holy hell! Whoops excuse me, -cough cough- What was that?" Xavier stopped his interrogating.
"Aw shit!"
"Oh and remind meh to punch Scott in tha belly too"
Wolverine smirked, he taught Rogue good.
"Logan would you please go and see who is at the door?" Xavier asked in very gentleman-like tone.
When he opened the it was a sight to be seen. You could tell who was leading the crazed teen's. Scott, Jean, Rogue and Kitty were on top and Sam, Roberto Amara and Jubilee were sort underneath them. Rogue's elbow was in Kitty's stomach and Scott's hand was on Jean's ass. Wait, Scott's hand was on Jean's what? Logan grabbed Scott's arm "Okay everyone get up now!" They did and stampeded into Xavier's office, almost crushing Logan!
"Professor, I can explain! And tell you that I had nothing to do with it!"
" Explain what? Bobby and Kurt told me everything and everyone's names. I think it's just dandy. It's perfectly healthy." he smiled at them.
Everyone just stood there wide-eyed and jaw opened. "Yy-you do?" Jean stuttered.
"Yes, I think trying out a new life style and getting to know more people will help your build your self-esteem and make new friends."
"Oh yeah that. What lifestyle did they tell you?" Scott knew he would get beat up after everyone knowing he almost confessed.
"Well I believe it was the 'Ghetto' one of course and you all made up names to get a better grasp of it."
"As matter of fact we do..." Tabby mysteriously came out of now where, hey no surprise there, it's Tabby "...We even have one for you, Logan and Ororo" Tabby grinned maniacally. Everyone pissed themselves right there, praying that Xavier wouldn't want to know Logan's, Storm's or his name.
"Well then lets hear them" Xavier grinned and rested his hands on his lap.
"Ok, well your name is Mr. Ghetto Fabulouso, Storm's is Dug Whack and Logan's. Logan's name is Dr. Magic." The whole entire group of X-men let out one big sigh of relief. Logan wasn't going to kill them... today.
"Well then if that's all cleared up then please go on to other activities and-
CRACK, CURSPOOF! (the glass on the door just scattered)
"-Let me get a new door."
Everyone cleared out.
"Oh but one more thing, I would appreciate for all of not to call us our 'Ghetto Names.' It's your thing and I would like to see how it turns out."
"Okay" everyone mumbled.
"You got it! Mr. Ghetto Fabulouso and Dr. Magic!" Tabby yelled over the mumbling's.
Logan gave a smirk and Mr. Ghetto Fabulouso smiled.
When everyone made it back to the rec room they just died right back on the couches.
"Well like that was like hell." Kitty whined.
"Yeah but thank god Bobby made up that plan or we would be waxing the floors right now." Kurt started munching on some random food item he had in his pocket.
"Oh yeah that reminds meh" Rogue got up and punched Kurt in the stomach.
"Ooff What was that for!" Kurt held his tummy.
"For loving to wax too much! Oh and Scott" she kicked him in the balls.
"God Rogue I thought it was a just a punch and not in my crotch!" he squealed.
"Yeah well Ah changed my mind and on the bright side, now you and Jean can't reproduce."
Everyone snickered,well, expect for Jean, she was outraged! And Scott was in a little ball in the corner.
"Okay my little darlings! Meet me in the attic in about 2 hours!" Tabby popped out from behind a chair.
"Like god wouldja like stop doing that! It's like freaking me out!"
"Enough whining! Me, the attic, 2 hours! Oh and bring my other slaves, uh I mean The Brother Hood and The Acolytes!" who just happened to pop out from behind chairs too. "Okay good now Lance, Fred, Sam and Roberto! Come with me!" Tabby and her minions popped out of the room.
"CRICKEY! what am I doing here! And where his my shower! And will someone please get me a towel!" John yelled. He just happened to be taking a shower at that moment... Oh poor him.
No body got him a towel. They just started at him and wanted him to suffer! Well until Wanda got pissed that everyone was looking at his John Jr. (as she called it) and threw them all against a wall. She only threw the girls that where looking there were no guys, Well hopefully...
" Like Ouch, I wasn't even like looking!" Kitty rubbed her bum.
"Oh yeah sure, Kit" Rogue knew every girl was looking at his family's jewels,even little miss perfect Jean, who was now drooling.
"But I like wasn't!" she pleaded.
"Yeah sure" was the unison response as everyone shuffled out of the rec room.
"Like hey!" She gave a little kid huff and then Piotr's nice, warm arms wrapped around her shoulders.
"Well I believe you Katya." He smiled down at her.
"Like thanks" they walked down the corridor and into the garden to talk about their midnight frights and pillow fights of their childhood's.
---------------------------------
Since Kurt and all of the new recruits, except Sam and Roberto still had about 2 hours until their doom they just sat around outside... waiting and worrying. But to ease their worried minds they all sat on their backs looking up at the clouds...
I know weird right?
" Hey that one looks like a Double Decker cheese, salami, pickle, sausage, mustard, ketchup, bologna, lettuce and tomato sandwich!" Bobby pointed to a patch of clouds.
"Oh yeah I'm sure Bobby, and those clouds over there are Tabby using us as puppet's and is boiling us in hot wax." Jubilee pointed to some random patch. But when everyone looked to where she pointed, it was in fact Tabby boiling them in a giant pot of hot wax with strings attached to their backs, but instead of a nice white cloud like the others, it was a black evil cloud.
" Uh okay, well I have had enough clouds for one day!" Jubilee shot up like a bullet.
" Yeah me too..." Rahne said. They all sprinted to the picnic tables. " So what do you want to do now?" she flicked something random off the table."
Kurt's, Bobby's, and Ray's eye's narrowed, " Hardcore Mutant croquet!"
The girls had other stuff on their minds than playing a stupid game and besides they knew it would turn out ugly in the end, but if you want your man you have to go for your man.
Jubilee gave a pissed off sigh, "Fine."
Rahne crossed her arm over her chest "Sure, whatever"
And Amara snuck her nose up in the air and snarled, " I think we played something like that back at my Jungle Kingdom, but we used golden coconuts, and golden sticks, not this wooden junk."
Everyone just rolled their eye's and went to go play some hard core croquet!
------------------------------------
As for the older more mature folk they were doing something a little more adult...-wink wink-
Scott and Jean were in the den having a very intelligent conversation about the to's and fro's and the high's and low's of the political government. ( See now wasn't that adult!)
John and Wanda were actually not playing "Batman to the rescue!", they were talking, yes talking, about each other's "feeling's" and hopes and dreams. But who was stopping them from trying out those new glow in the dark condoms?
(John and Wanda's very 'smart' conversation)
"Well John, What your favorite color?"
"FIRE!" he gave a smart grin.
"Okay how about your favorite food?"
" Pizza and FIRE!"
"Good okay at least we're getting somewhere... wait now I sound like freaking Xaiver... oh screw this" Wanda planted a big old smooch on his lips.
"Oh now this I like more than fire... wait a minute... oh CRICKEY!"
--------
Pietro and Toad were at the park doing oh you know the usual, stealing, lying, cheating,setting fire to small children. Though Pietro still couldn't get over how Tabby just used him like that to sign a stupid sheet of paper, and couldn't get over her body. She said that they were just friends with benefits. It was the perfect deal since he is the towns playboy, aside from Remy, and he knew he couldn't make an actual move until the Pimp-a-thon was over. 'Oh damn' he thought. But a certain Toad interrupted him.
"Hey dude wouldja stop thinking about Tabby for once?" Toad watched as small children with crispy heads scurried by in fear.
"Hey-how-did-you-know?"
"You get this gleam in your eyes just like the time you and Tabby, well you know" Toad remembered that day, "Oh bad images!" he also remembered when he walked in on them the second time when they were in Pietro's room.
"Now I'm going to have nightmares for days"
Pietro smirked.
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(Now to the couple everyone's been waiting for!)
Our Oh-so-sweet Rogue and Remy were actually not together. Since Rogue seduced Remy she went back to her same good ol' moody bad-ass self and followed up on the younger folk's idea and found some hill and looked up at the clouds.
Rogue was confused and a little a scared. The evil scary Tabby cloud just passed by along with the Double Decker cheese, salami, pickle, sausage, mustard, ketchup, bologna, lettuce and tomato sandwich.
"Did Ah just see what Ah think Ah saw? Boy am Ah on drugs or what?" she muttered to her self.
"Well Remy sure hopes not, Cherie"
Rogue felt someone's prepense lay down next to her.
"Hello Swamp Rat"
"De one and only!" he flashed his pearls.
Rogue didn't response and directed her attention back to the clouds.
"Dat was one hell o' a day we had yesterday, wasn't it?" he too pondered up at the clouds.
"One hell of a naght too."
"Oh yes de night... ya know you still never told Remy how you can touch and all of dat." he turned to look at her.
" Okay fahn" she sat up on her elbows and showed him her arm.
He looked at her arm " Yes Cherie you do have very pretty arms."
"Look" Rogue pulled off something from her skin that blended in perfectly. " It's called a Rogue Patch. It's off when Ah don't need it and on when Ah do" she placed it back on her arm and a white glow surround her for a minute, then disappeared.
"Oh Remy understands... How 'bout we see if it workin?" He winked.
Rogue understood and then filled in the inch between them.
Then the Oh-So-sly Cajun wrapped his very muscular arms around her and kissed her...
"Hey what do ya know? It does work... who would have guessed?" Rogue rolled back to her spot and redirected her attention back to the sky.
" Remy gets de assumption dat yo' like the clouds more than him." he grabbed her again.
"Well too bad for you."
Since Rogue didn't try to wiggle form his grasp his turned his head back to the clouds and stared at very odd looking cloud. It was of two people, a woman and a man, and they were kissing.
"Hey Remy tinks that he like the clouds." he hugged his Cherie harder. But too bad he was too caught up with love to realize that next to the kissing couple in the sky, there was a figure next to them in the bushes, watching them but then quickly vanished with the clouds.
------------------------
Exactly 2:00 minutes until the X-men go through their doom. Outside the door to the attic's hallway.
"You open it."
" No you open it!"
"Why do I have to open it?"
" Cause we hate you!" the crowd of cowards shoved Bobby to the door.
"Wait! I have a better idea how about we just sit here quietly and wait until Tabby dies!" Bobby started to walk back down the hall.
"No, not happening. Sheesh why do I have to do everything?" Jubilee picked him up by the collar up, kicked the door open and walked into the darkness.
Everyone gulped and looked at each other.
"Well are ya coming or not!" Jubilee's voice echoed.
" Like yes ma'am! Uh like okay everyone grab a buddy! And like follow me!" Kitty, and her buddy Piotr, followed Jubilee with the scaredy cat's following behind.
Actually Rogue wasn't as scared as everyone else was. Even though it was dark as shit, she still had Remy's see-in-the-dark eyes and her buddy was Remy! And besides, what could be scarier than Mystique!
"BOO!" Pietro grabbed whose ever ass was in front of him. Baaaad move.
" Sorry Homme, but Remy don't play dat."
Rogue started cracking up.
"BOO!" Pietro tried again but this time got his target.
Rogue immediately stopped laughing and turned to face the dead man.
Pietro gave an innocent smile and started whistling.
"Yes Roguey?"
"Yeah try that again and then we'll see who'll be smiling." she slapped him and turned around to walk but the line of freaked out teens stopped.
"Okay, here's the door" Jubilee creaked it open.
"Hello?"
"Please, take a seat." Tabby eerie voice filled their ears. Suddenly the light flickered on and the room was absolutely a pimp's dream! Pink chairs, pink walls, a blue carpet, mountains and mountains of condoms (flavored and glow-in-the-dark of course), a fully stalked bar, a few beds, an armoire full of pimp chains,cups, canes, etc..., some posters of women were on the walls,a few lava lamps, a fountain of liquid chocolate flowing from it, a huge-ass stereo with "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent playing out of it, a big screen T.V that was fully hooked up with cable and packed out the ass with dvd's, including all kinds of porn and the limited edition "30 ways to become a pimp in 90 days or less," ( Tabby weirdly found that in Magneto's room). In the closed off secret room a heart shaped hot tub was waiting to be fondled in. And some other unmentionables that cannot be mentioned were in a huge chest with a lock on it.
In the middle of the whole pimp chamber there were fuzzy chairs with each of the pimps name's on them and Tabby was standing in front of them with some sexy satin chairs with names on them all around her.
" Don't ya like it?" Tabby smiled.
The X-men just gapped and were in shock.
"Yes" they all agreed.
"Well then please seat!"
The pimps all sat on their designated chairs. Each of the girls sat in the sexy stain chairs.
" Good you all sat in the right chairs. Now since-"
" Wait do the girls have pimp names too?"
"Why I'm glad you asked that, Kurt. Here have a cookie" she tossed him a
cookie. " You will address Kitty as Small Chill, Jean as Kim possible, Rahn as Reverend Rebecca Ice, Wanda is Lord Pump, Amara is Drop me like I'm hott, Rogue as Slave Undefined and Jubilee as Ass handler. Bobby perked up at that. Oh and you will only refer to me as Washed UP Sult. Now lets go on to our first event! Whoo!" Tabby clapped. " Each event we will have the girls judge and the rules are NO CHEATING but I have no idea how you would so I guess that doesn't really matter. So now the event is...-drum roll-...Pop your collar if your a pimp! Yeah! Now everyone stand in line and started popping!"
" This is so pointless, I mean who cares if you can pop your.. -RIIIIIIIP-... collar. Uh what the hell was that?" Bobby turned turned his head toward Scott, as did everyone else. Scott has some weird issue of popping his collar, he just can't. So he stupidly and somehow ripped off his whole shirt.
"Uh do a I lose?"
"Remy tink so homme." Remy looked at Rogue to give her a "Scott is such a dick" face but she seemed to be checking out Scott's not-as-well-built-as-Remy's chest.
"Wat!" Remy gawked. "Dat's it!" he ripped of his shirt and pointed towards Scott. "Remy challenges you to a steel cage death match!" he kicked Scott in the nut's and he immediately went down.
"What is with people and kicking me in the genitals!" Scott squeaked. Remy went to go body slam him but Tabby came and broke it up.
" Guys guys guys! I'm sorry but we can't have the blood battle in here! The carpet is new! And you can't have a steel cage death match because The Steel Cage Tavern is closed! So I'm sorry but have it another time, okay?"
"Oui"
"Thank-god" Scott breathed.
"Don't worry guys it will happen. But now we must get back to the event! Go sit back down. Oh and Remy don't even think about putting you shirt back on." Tabby winked.
"Hey!" Pietro stood up and ripped his shirt off "There-now-we're-all-even." he proudly sat back down.
" Uh okay, now Rogue with the results."
Slave Undefined took Washed Up Sult's place at the podium and read the winner of Pop your collar if your a pimp!
"Okay so the winner is... well it's a tie. Swamp rat wins because he released his sexy hunkyness and Fred also wins because he was the only one who actually popped his collar tha right way. So, mah god ah can't believe that Ah'm guna say this but Kaptack U. lar is in the lead! But who will it all in the end?" Rogue walked off and sat down.
"Thank-you Rogue, Everyone enjoy your life until we meet again!" there was a cloud of a smoke and Tabby was gone.
"Uh, like okay what do we like do now?" Kitty piped in.
"Remy don' know 'bout you hommes but he's going go check out that hot tub." he got a scandalous grin and headed for the hot tub but Rogue grabbed him.
"Sorry Cajun but we've got dinner in 30 minutes and you've got to go." she pointed to the door. "Out"
"Fine, fine Cherie but Remy knows you'll be waiting fer him by yer room tonight."
Everyone awed.
"Sure keep dreaming."
The Acolytes left, as did the Brotherhood and the X-men had a nice wholesome dinner. Yeah right, 20 minutes into dinner Bobby had an all out food war between him and the entire right side of the table. He's grounded for life. But he does get to play Swamp Thing with Jubilee later!
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There you go! 10 ½ pages of pure gold! Hmm maybe not gold. How about sliver!
Sorry for the soooo long update! It's finally break so I'll be updating a lot!
So Remy is in the lead! With the others not far behind! Well duh it's the only first event. Keep those reviewing coming babe!