Disclaimer: I don't own, this or that, here or there, i don't own it anywhere.
I'm sorry for the foul language... it's just part of the song...
Oh and I'm sorry but i must change something, In Chapter 7, I stated that Fred had won the contest but he didn't, I forgot he's an evil little minion so its still Remy that's in the lead.
Reviews:
Elmo the cajun puppet- "You bloody psycopath!" ARE YOU BRITSIH? Lol yeah... I think i'm crossing the line a little bit with this chapter... REMY GETS NAKED! Well in my room he does... what about yours?
Dark Anime Love- Logan's always drunk... we go clubbing on Tuesdays... you should come, Hmmm MOP's too. The black men will be revealed! (MOP make out party) hehe
SickMindedSucker- Hehe the P word... (both of them) tehe. ANYWAY. Yes yes... very good. Force their hott ass's on stage? BRILLANT! I'm sorry but winky dink's can't be shown in this chapter... it's much too scandalous and besides... pimps with AIDS is not sexy... bleh. The Pimps suits? Well their all different colors... sizes... designs... the most horrible and humiliating patterns and outfits I could muster from my too dirrrty mind... hmm crotch less pants... tasty.
NaijaStrawberrie- Well thank you!
And for the record:
I feel just dandy about leather.
Scott likes the kinky whip.
Politics is the code word for "there's a parent in the room so please change the topic from something other then SEX."
Flowers makes me hott. (hehe)
The large blafrican men will be revealed in this chapter!
Whoo whoo! And yes, ghetto quotes are very fun indeed!
Chapter 9: Pimp's in the crib drop it like its hott.
Recently on the Pimp-a-thon:
As the large group turned the corner, Jean asked "Did anyone just notice that man just hit on me?"
Rogue decided to give her an answer, "Duh, your totally black, your ass is huge."
"What! I'm not black!" Jean pouted.
"Sure..." Everyone said in unison.
"Well it's time boys." Tabby opened the door to the husky musty bar.
"Oh Shit." Pietro declared.
"Remy already told homme, he doesn't play that way!" Remy complained.
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The Husky Steel 11:00 P.M
Each brave "pimp" soul stood in the doorway of the Husky Steel reading the sign posted on the stage: "We prefer the term "Genderly Challenged""
"This is so unfair!" Kurt pouted. "Tabby did this on purpose!"
"Pfft, no I didn't." Tabby tried to hold back her laughs," Now, remember to get as many numbers as possible... from these nice... ladies." Tabby couldn't hold it anymore... along with the other woman, they erupted with laughter and slammed the door shut.
"Haha very funny! Now let us out!" Bobby started pulling on the door but it was stuck, "Tabby your sooo gay!" he got very strange looks from a few of the people at the bar.
"Well why we're here, we should at least make the best of it." John snapped at the waitress with oddly large shoulders.
"Hello there! How may I help you?" She/he turned around and batted his/her eye lashes.
"Um, Can you seat us at a table far in the back and is dimly lit?"
"Well sure! How many seats? 1...2...3...4...5... and 6, oh and I almost forgot that rowdy scout in the back there! " He/she gestured toward Toad. "So he makes seven!"
"Um, sure?" John started to stare at his/her facial hair and followed the he/she/man to a large booth.
"Michelle! Get over here!" A short man with a pot belly yelled to the waiter/waitress.
"I guess I'll see you hott studs later then." Michelle handed her number to Toad.
" Hey, thanks." Toad winked and as seductively as he could he blew "her" a kiss.
Pietro gave him a disgusted look, "Man you got a number from a gay man? That takes... HEY MAN WAIT! Toads in the lead!"
"What!" The large group said in unison as they crammed in the booth.
"He got a number from the hott man freak!" Pietro immediately took back those words.
Remy suddenly got the biggest smirk you could ever believe... not even Juggernaut could knock it out of him.
"Hey homme, how about that one time in the closet... with the ass grabbing?" He saw Peitro's cocky face change with horror.
"It was dark all right! And I told you not to tell anyone!" His face turned cocky again, " Mr. Disco Bunny underpants!"
"What! No..." Remy was about to reach across the table and punch the Sliver haired man in the throat.
Jungle Joe Safarian (Bobby) saw the the daggers in Remys eyes and he knew he had to do something. Well he would have really liked the dirty secret drawer to be opened all night but that would have ended in broken limbs and bleeding organs... and well in a Gay Bar it wouldn't have went down well. So he popped up and paraded on to the karaoke stand and grabbed the microphone. He then ripped open his pink furry leather coat to release his recently waxed wash board tummy!
He then spoke into the mic "Now, I dedicate this song, Faggot, to that one time when me and Jubilee were trapped in that closet... " He cleared his throat.
" I've been denied all the best ultrasex
I've been denied all the best ultrasex
i - i tried to consume just like a super faggot
i got some dude
how can y'all bring a muthafucka something so good he couldn't say no
you nailed me hard
i love 'em when they don't give a motherfucking shit
i could've been someone instead of falling flat upon my ass
dig me now and fuck me later
and sing it to the tune of faggot faggot faggot
oh - dig me now and fuck me later
and sing it with the... "
And to think, he wasn't even drunk.
As the table of pimps shunned and threw tomatoes at him the crowd was going insane.
Remy watched as the husky men threw money and "rubbers" at the now belly dancing Iceman.
"Hey... maybe I should... No! Remy you can't! Even if it is for money! Remy will not sell himself for sex!" Remy muttered to himself... but he couldn't resist the urge... he quickly ran up to the stage... torn off his pants to reveal his Mr. Disco Bunny man thong and busted a move.
Kurt, Pietro, Poitr, and John quickly strutted up there and went to shake their "thangs". Later on they would blame such antics on "peer pressure."
Toad really did want to join his team mates with their churlish behavior, honest, but he was set out to win. He was the pimpinest out of all of them... and he knew it. So he swung his hips the best he could and sat next to the most "pleasing" woman/man there.
"Hey... " he said like a seductive hooker with AIDS in a bar trying to pick up a date.
"Hello there, I'm Nick." Nick put his arm around Toad, "Oh my! Now you must tell me who did your make-up job! I've always wanted to dress as toad to a fabulous party!" He laughed in the gayest voice imaginable.
Toad wanted to die, but then popped his collar and came back with, "Oh yes! And you have to tell me who did your breasts! Their absolute to die for!" He mocked Nick with a laugh.
" Oh yes! But sorry I must be leaving, but give me a call? 862-342..." He handed Toad his "card" and did a walk that was so sexy it could have made a straight man turn gay.
"Yes, two down, 69 more to go." He walked into the bathroom to see what scandals were going on in there.
" i been denied all the best ultra sex
i been denied all the best ultra sex
i - i could've been a star
it freaks me out when i sound just like my mom
i could've rocked the spot
instead of being just another faggot like i am
i played that shit straight
blowin' suckas on the side hopin' i get laid
now everybody knows
no way in hell i can ever live it down
dig me now and fuck me later
and sing it to the tune of faggot faggot faggot
oh - dig me now and fuck me later
and sing it with the...
i could've been someone instead of falling flat upon my ass. "
The Gay boy's choir were now jammin almost in the nude as they took in the appreciation from the crowd.
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The "Hood."
Scott somehow got stripped from his pimp clothes and dressed in some other attire and got strapped to a chair.
He then awoke to the two large black men.
"AH!" He shrieked in a girly man tone.
"Hey man, Don't worry we just wanna ask ya something." The second large man, by the name of Billy, started to untie him.
"Well um, sure?" Scott checked out his jeans and t-shirt attire... yes a manly mens outfit.
"Uh... umm... can you tell us how to be a pimp?" Billy and the second black man started to take off their masks and revealed there faces.
"MARTHA SEWART! ...MICHEAL JACKSON?" Scott looked in horror.
" Well, what did you really think I was really doing in prison?" Martha gave an angelic smile.
Scott took that explanation and then looked at Michael Jackson.
"Um, my name is Michael Jackson, doesn't that explain it all?" He applied more super glue to his nose.
"All righty then... all you need to do is..." Scott started to smirk mantically.
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2:00 A.M. The Husky Steel.
"All right now, whatever we witness in there we can never pass from our lips... agreed?" Tabby swung the two large pink doors to the Husky Steel.
Oh
My
God.
Can you say Gang-Bang much?
Bobby, Kurt, Pietro, and John were still on stage... COMPLETELY NAKED and were now pelvic thrusting to "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.
THANKFULLY, Remy wasn't doing any of it. He was too busy counting his loot in the back and was completely relieved when he saw Rogue walk thorough the door.
"CHERIE!" He ran up to her, in only his bunny man thong, and kissed her on the lips, "Yes, something Remy likes." he started to redress himself.
Poitr too was counting his loot, and phone numbers.
"Katya!" He being the sweet boy he was, was just missing his purple sequined wife beater.
"Like, thank-god." Kitty breathed a sigh of relief.
Washed UP Slut (Tabby), Lord Pump (Wanda), Drop me like I'm hott (Amara), and Ass handler (Jubilee) stood glaring at their once manly boyfriends.
Kurt was first to notice is beaming girlfriend... and let John belch out "My lumps my lumps, my lovely lady lumps," right before he bamfed the party away and stated, "You didn't see any of this."
"Oh yes we did!" Jubilee ran out the two doors and said "We have to catch those doosh-bags before they get back to the mansion!"
"Yes!" Tabby led everyone to the Pimpmobile, (which oddly looked like bat-mobile) and actually flew to the mansion! Now... that's rolling in style.
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87 seconds later... Pimp room
Bobby, Kurt, John, and Pietro now trying to hide their naked bodies in the fondling hott tub... which wasn't a job idea... since their were all naked and it was a heart shaped hott tub.
"Do-you-think-they-will-find-us-here?" Pietro emerged from the water.
"Oh no they- " Then Bobby heard the thudding of very angry feet coming up the stairs.
"Oh snap." John submerged under the water again as did everyone else.
Jubilee, Tabby, Amara, and Wanda came sprinting in as if someone had said "Free Sex!"
"Where are they?" Tabby looked around the "deserted" room, but was quickly pulled into the hott tub along with the other lovely ladies.
Then Remy Rogue, Kitty, Poitr and the Evil minions popped in.
"Hey Homme's, please put yo' wipper snappers away, no one wants to see 'em" Remy shielded Rogue's eyes from the popped up... um... winky dinks.
"We're not gay, by the way." Kurt announced.
"Sure, homme."
"Well ANYWAY!" Tabby turned on the bubbles so no one would stare at the wipper snappers. "Let's count the numbers! Um, guys... where's Toad?" She asked as she collected the numbers.
"Um, I think I saw him go into the bathroom around 11:30... he never came out." Poitr pulled Kitty a little closer to him.
"Well fine! He's disqualified!" Tabby started to count the random notes of paper, "1...2...3." she went on.
"So, um, what about Scott?" Jean floated in from nowhere.
" I'd say he's disqualified too... going off two African American men isn't exactly pimping... well in the right way, if you catch my drift." Pietro responded.
"What! Scott is straight! He's dating me after all!" Jean huffed as she sat down.
"Well..." Pietro smiled at her.
"Silence!" Tabby stood up, "The results are in!"
Everyone shut up and sat and their fuzzy/satin designated seats.
"Ahem, now the winner is... Pietro! Since he looked most dashing in his gold medallion, black, red and neon blue suit, and his sliver pimp cane. He wore it so divinely. And plus... with his speed he went around that bar... twice... and got a whooping 25 numbers!" Tabby stood up and cheered.
"Yeeee!" Pietro jumped for joy and then realized he was still in the nude. "But anyway... so am I in the lead?"
"Nope. Remy and you both won an event! And Toad and Scott are disqualified. Oh and be prepared for the next event... it's the first disqualification round! So stick it up and notch!" She clapped her hands and was gone.
"So then... I guess it's sleep sleep time?" Remy looked at Rogue. She was about to give him some sassy remark but some random black SUV pulled up to the gates and let out too young men. It was Toad and Scott! The SUV then started to bounce up and down (hydraulics) and drove away.
"Damn... what was that?" Bobby ventured out the question... he didn't really want an answer.
"Well, um I met Martha Stewart... and Michael Jackson." Scott gave a toothy grin.
"... And um... I met the worst night of my life... with a man." Toad shuddered. "I think I'm actually guna go take a shower yo... ick nasty humans..." He hopped away.
The Acolytes and the Brotherhood said their see ya later's and went on their dandy ways home. The X-men, Acolytes, and the Brotherhood all fell asleep to thoughts of the next toturest event that Tabby would make them endure. But hey, the Pimps just survived a gay bar... they can survive anything.
All right, if there is any confusion please tell me!
The Stat's:
It's a tie between Remy and Pietro.
Toad and Scott are disqualified.
No one is gay... all right?
Oh and the karaoke song is Faggot
by Mindless Self Indulgence.
And if you didn't already... please read the big bold words up top.
Smile if your gay. :)