Disclaimer: Marvel Not Mine.
Reviews:
FluidDegree- Well... underwear are my specialty... wink wink. Toad and Scott are gone! The aren't pimpin all over the world anytime soon... By the way, I got no more outfits for your hubby lol just make him sing karaoke in the nude!
Bant- Not even a wowerz? Lol I hope I can make you laugh with this one.
NaijaStrawberrie- Yeah I thought I was going over the freak factor with that one... this one is kicking major butt though! Hopefully your not at work now...
JoeyQuinn- I go for the comedy! Pshh, your more pimpin.
Musagirl15- Sorry it took so long... but I wrote more this time !
Chapter 10: The Five Main Principles of Pimp'in.
Recently on the Pimp-a-thon:
"Damn... what was that?" Bobby ventured out the question... he didn't really want an answer.
"Well, um I met Martha Stewart... and Michael Jackson." Scott gave a toothy grin.
"... And um... I met the worst night of my life... with a man." Toad shuddered. "I think I'm actually guna go take a shower yo... ick nasty humans..." He hopped away.
The Acolytes and the Brotherhood said their see ya later's and went on their dandy ways home. The X-men, Acolytes, and the Brotherhood all fell asleep to thoughts of the next toturest event that Tabby would make them endure. But hey, the Pimps just survived a gay bar... they can survive anything.
12:00 P.M... The day after the Pimp Gay bar Fiasco.
Logan's Secret Lair... a.k.a. the laundry room...
"Oh yes. I'm on to your little scheme, you little brats!" Logan popped open another unneeded can of beer. "No one can get past my wolf-like instincts, and Remy-like charm!"
"Logan, is that you?" Storm came in with a heaping pile of laundry. "What are you doing?"
"Um, understanding the great art of towel folding?" He gave a hope-she-doesn't suspect-anything-smile.
"Oh well great, now you can help me with the boy's wing laundry... especially Bobby's gym clothes." She handed him some tightie whities.
"Hmm, oh great... looks like an eventful afternoon of underpants folding... woo." He said as innocently as he could while he tucked away his secret incriminating evidence of the Pimp-a-thon.
Rogue and Kitty's room.
" Like Rogue, are you and Remy like... dating?" Kitty gave a hope-see-gives-me-the-gossip look.
Rogue was about to shoot her a go-the-hell-away-look but she decided to save it for Remy later on. " No Kitty we aren't, how about you and that Russian?"
" Hmm like yeah." she smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "What about Tabby and Quicksilver?"
"Eh... ya know their reputations... there on an' off." Rogue watched as something moved in her closet. "Kit, don't move." She slowly moved toward the closet and heard mumbling. "Hello? Dirty, Cajun?"
Kitty smiled. " You like him!"
"Hush." Rogue quickly opened the closet and watched a figure tumble on top of her. "Tabby! What tha hell are ya doin?"
The blond woman scoffed. " Well I was getting thing's ready for the next event!" She sat up.
" In a like closet?" Kitty questioned. She knew Tabby was weird... but, hiding alone in a dark closet -which wasn't even hers- was a little peculiar.
" Well, now that you guys disturbed my thinking area, you get the job of rounding up the crew for the next event! 10:30 P.M... Pimp room!" She jumped out the window and vanished.
" Damn." Kitty and Rogue saidin astonishment.
"So we like gotta round up the like group?" Kitty snapped her gum.
" Ah'm starting to get tried of this." Rogue started down the hallway.
" Oh I like love it! Watching the guys like suffer! It's great!" Kitty stated.
"Ah didn't know you loved the doom of others so much..." Rogue smirked.
Kitty shot back a smile. " Yeah, well it gets boring here."
10:30 P.M. That night. Pimp room.
"Attention, Attention. Please! This round is very crucial!"
The group of mutants heard Tabby announce as they sat down.
" I think we can all agree this has been progressing for a very long time now. So, with Scott and Toad already eliminated, this next round, number 3 will be a disqualification round. Hmm now, 2 people will be killed- I mean disqualified in the next competition. So here it goes, Round 3: Pimpologly!"
She threw her hands in the air.
"Hooray! Okay so the rules go as follows: The remaining Pimps will be divided into 3 teams. Each team has to answer questions and earn Pimp Points. The first team up to 30 wins and the second almost winning gets to stay! This means the losing team is gone-so! But there's a catch... the Pimp God will be reading the questions... and he hates pimp-wanna-bee's! So do your best!" Tabby ran to the door. "Everyone stand up! Here is the Pimp God -also known as Seduction Sweet Chocolate!"
Every single mutant soiled their pants as they watched Magneto walk thorough the door.
"Close your mouths children. I needed to do something in my spare time okay?" Seduction Sweet Chocolate, Magneto, glided across the room. " So who are my victims?"
"Well, John and Remy are Team 1, Pietro and Piotr Team 2, and Kurt and Bobby are Team 3." Tabby said. " I'll start the timer now!"
You could taste the competition.
Tabby handed Magneto a pile of cards, " Alright, the first step of being a pimp is you need cool pimpin threads, what do you wear?"
Buzz
"John! Remy told you not to hit the button!" Remy threw his hands in the air.
"Crickey! I thought you said hit the button! Simple mistake?" He smiled happily, "Plus it was red and shiny, I couldn't help it."
" Your such a-"
"Gambit, do you have an answer?" Sweet Seduction Chocolate sat up, his gold medallion slipping out beneath his cape.
"Um, Disco bunny Underpants?" He blushed.
Buzz
" Umm. Okay wrong! Piotr's team go!"
Pietro looked and Piotr and shrugged, "Um the button looked like fun? And-"
Piotr chimed in, " I believe you wear a fur coat, it is physically impossible to not score when wearing a fur coat, under the coat, you put on a disco shirt, some skin-tight flares, and approximately 4.8 pounds of jewelry. You top it off with some nice leather boots." He made a kissey face toward Kitty.
"Daymn, I mean give Piotr's team 10 points!"
" Yeah! Woo!" Pietro did one of those belly bump things with Piotr. " We're not losers!"
" Calm down. Sheesh." Rogue threw her chair at him. Barley missing his face.
" Yeah well, your face! Rogue!" Pietro sat down proud of his comeback.
" Um, next question please!" Bobby was ready for it.
Magneto gave a wry smile, " All right, state the five sentences you'll only ever need to be a pimp."
Buzz
"Oh! Remy knows! Pick Remy! REMY KNOWS!" Gambit was fired up!
"Uh... fine Gambit go."
"Yesss. The five sentences are..." Remy broke down in a low, seductive, throaty voice like Barry White's.
"It is my duty to please that booty.",
"Hello, sweet thang."
"Let's do it. Doggy Style."
"Say what? You're a nun?"
and "Hi, My name's John and I'm an alcoholic."
"Wow. You guys are really pulling thorough here. Team 1 gets only 5 points for using his teammates name in an example... even if the statement is true"
John looked up from his lighter. "Hey man... not cool."
" Anyway, question 3: What did Remy and Rogue do in Wolverines room when Rogue was able to touch? Um...?" Magneto looked at Remy and back at Rogue.
" Woah!" Kitty gave a nervous chuckle. " How did that get in there?"
Rogue grunted at Shadow Kat.
Remy high-fived "the guys."
Jamie snuck in from the sidelines. "They played charades!" He gave a hopeful smile.
"Um... about that."
Buzz
" I believe they played "the bases." They even made a "home run." Bobby popped his collar. "You guys have to learn to close the blinds before you make a pitch."
"Hmmm. Bobby's team gets 10 points for snooping and an extra 5 for the excellent metaphor." Magneto said.
Bobby smiled.
"Okay everyone! I see you've all got the skillzzzz so I call a Lighting Question!" Tabby opened her infamous pink fuzzy suitcase. She passed another pile of cards to Magneto and whispered something sweet into his ear.
Magneto smirked. "Very well then. With Team 3 leading with 15 points the next question is for 15 points!"
Applause
Cheers
Ahem " The Lighting Question is: What are the 3 major steps to reach eternal Pimpdom?"
The suspense was dire.
Bobby glimpsed at Remy.
Sweat trickled down Remy's brow.
They waited for a moment, staring at their red giant buttons.
And suddenly it was on!
Pietro, Kurt, Piotr, and John ran from their chairs as they watched Iceman and Gambit dive for their buzzers.
Remy and Bobby charged toward their buttons as if they were in slow motion.
"Go! Go!" Jubilee yelled as she watched Bobby.
Rogue sat watching her seduced victim go for the gold. She smirked and he smirked back.
And there it was.
...Buzz!
Everyone grew silent.
"It's... Remy!"
He yelled something naughty in French. "Step 1: You gotta have sweet outfits. Sport some gators for da true capers. As for yo' bottoms: Room is the key, because real pimps let it hang free. Make sure yo' shirts are pressed up and keep poppin them collars. Step 2: Yo' gotta bling-bling-a-bling-a- bling cause no Ho can resist a platinum and diamond beveled ring. Step #3: Yo' gotta play da peep game! Don't forget to take a shower! Smelling so fresh and so clean ain't just a song homme... it's knowledge! Crack open a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier or some other fine pimp fragrance and yo' set!"
"Correct! 15 points for Remy's team." Tabby wooed. " Remy and Johns Team have 20 Points. Pietro and Piotr's Team have 10 points and Bobby's and Kurt's Team has 15 Points! The next question earns you a whooping 20 Points! This could be the game winner! So move it feller's!"
"Okay Final Question... For all the Pimp Points. What are the Five Main Principles of Pimpology?"
Remy looked at Bobby. "Wanna go again homme?"
Bobby looked at Remy. But before he could reply, there was a sound of a buzzer.
"JOHN! GAMBIT TOLD YO' NOT TO HIT THE BUTTON!" Remy turned to scold his teammate.
"IT WASN'T ME!" John fought back. But Indeed it wasn't Pyro nor Bobby's buzzer. It was...
"Me!" Pietro smirked at his cat-like reflexes.
"Wow, does that change everything or what? Pietro you have the floor." Magneto read the answer to the question carefully.
"Thank-you. The Five Main Principles of Pimpology are... Pimp-in your clothes, Pimp-in your Ride, playing the Pimp Game, having pimp-in Ho's and that Pimp-in isn't the most easiest thing in the world... except it is for me." Pietro smiled at his cocky-mess.
"Correct!" For the first time Magneto was proud enough to call Pietro his son.
" So that's the game folks! Pietro and Pior's Team win with 30 whole Pimp Points! Remy and John come in with 20 Pimp Points! And dead last is Bobby and Kurt's team with 15 Pimp Points! Bobby and Kurt are eliminated!" Tabby pulled a lever and Magneto fell thorough a trap door. " Next round it will be down to you four! So stay alert and keep pimpin!" Washed UP. Slut fell thorough the same trap door Magneto did.
"So Remy guess's dis wraps it up?" Remy put his arm around Rogue. Which she quickly shooed away. "Wanna go congratulate the winner?"
"Sure." Rogue surprisingly grabbed Remy and ran into the nearest bedroom.
"Wow. Just wow." Bobby looked at Jubilee. "I'm guessing they will both be perky for the next event?"
"Well duh."
The Laundry Room...
"Indeed they will children." Wolverine ran into the shadows.
Review?