WASH
"Wash!"
"Dry!"
"Wash!"
"Dry!"
A sidekick slammed the door shut. Breathing deeply, he slid down the door and curled up on himself.
"What's going on in there?" another sidekick asked. "Did Wash get into the detergent again?"
"Worse," the horrified sidekick whispered. "There's two of them."
"What do you-" They opened the door and looked inside. After staring for a few seconds in silent horror, they closed the door. "What's next, an ironing board?"
"Don't even joke about that."
"Come on, it's not that bad, right?"
The sidekick stared blandly up at them.
"It's… not that bad, right?"
"Wash!"
"Dry!"
"Wash!"
"Dry!"
A villain sprinted out of the bank, holding a bag of cash over one shoulder. "Get in the van, go go go!"
"We didn't even hit the vault yet! Why are we leaving?"
"Didn't you hear them!"
"What, the sentient washing machine?" a villain scoffed. "Come on, we can take 'em."
A burst of pressurized water crashed through the window, blasting the hapless villain out of the vehicle. As he rolled to a stop against the street curb, he blearily looked up and said, "Ugh, what hit me?"
A boxy machine waddled up to him. A green light shone from its display panel, and a glowing ball of plasma formed in its hollowed arm.
"Dry," Izuku said.
The villains screamed and held up his arms as the plasma washed over him. The screaming continued for half a minute, until the villain petered off in confusion. He looked around, wondering why he wasn't dead, and noticed he wasn't wet anymore.
"Huh, you really did dry me? Thanks!"
"Dry."
The villain tried to stand up, but they couldn't move. Struggling futilely, the villain looked down and saw that their clothes had shrunken down, binding his arms and legs in place. Another blast of water scattered the remaining villains.
As the villains huddled in fear before the two heroes, a clean-cut man in a blue suit strode forward with a bottle of detergent.
"Hi, Billy Mays here, with OxiClean, the official sponsor of the Scrubadub Agency!"
"No, please!" the villains cried. "Not the OxiClean!"
"Are you tired of villains breaking windows, stealing your prized possessions, and making their escape seconds before the heroes arrive?" the telemarketer asked the camera. "Well, no more! With the power of OxiClean, we'll clean up these villains' acts!"
Billy Mays drenched the villain in OxiClean and hurled him into Wash's laundry compartment. After a few spin cycles, he chucked him into Deku's dryer. With a plume of steam, the former villain emerged, wearing a three-piece suit and holding a business degree.
The villain marveled at his clean-shaven chin and flawless skin. "I feel like a new man!"
A hiring contract floated out of the sky and into his hands. The man signed and sprinted towards his new job.
"OxiClean!" Billy Mays proudly declared. "Call in the next twenty minutes, and we'll double your order for half the price!"
"Wash!" Wash shouted.
"Dry," Izuku added.
498
In honor of the greatest man to ever sell laundry detergent.
Also, Deku ate a dryer.