Guess what? SMUT, that's what! Don't want to read? Skip at the line break. Not for young eyes.

Okay? Good. Carry on.

No One I'd Rather Be

When Vanellope crossed the finish line, it looked as if she'd casted a healing spell on the entire kingdom. A bright light swept across the map, turning the darkened surface into the lighthearted, child-friendly sugar shack it was meant to be.

It was as if the bug-pocalypse never happened.

Ralph tugged at his shirt's neckline and looked down his chest. His wound was gone without a trace.

There were characters that appeared out of thin air; their pixels collaborated and created a full body before their eyes. The ones they recognized were the Butterscotch children from the castle.

"You've done it, my lady!" One of them said, cheerfully bouncing up and down. "You've saved us!"

Ralph felt something on his shoulder, and he turned his head to see the face of a colorful horse uncomfortably close to him. He jumped back and Felix appeared behind him, shaking a bit.

"N-nice, uni-candy-corn…" He murmured, his lower lip quivering.

The creature's eyes were large and friendly, and its face was no longer foaming at the mouth. In fact, it had a smile on. It nudged Ralph's shoulder and gave his face a friendly lick. Ralph just chuckled nervously and gave its head a pat.

Vanellope, too, had undergone a transformation. When everyone gathered around, they saw that she'd been dressed in a large, puffy pink dress, with a candy scepter in hand, a tiara carefully placed on her head, and red candies neatly arranged on her hair.

Every single one of the character's gaped at her with fascination, murmuring to each other about how their rightful ruler had returned, at last.

But Vanellope looked at her attire, appearing unsure.

"All hail Princess Vanellope!" One of the Butterscotch children said, throwing themselves to the ground. Everyone followed suit aside from the three adults, who looked at each other with surprise and confusion.

Felix was the first to bow his head. Then the other two followed suit.

Candlehead stepped forward. "Now things can finally return to the way it was!"

"I'd be delighted to serve my ruler once more!"

The dress was nice – if not, a bit inconvenient – and the thought of being a ruler sounded great, but Vanellope shook her head and made an "X" shape with her arms. "No way!"

She glitched out of her attire, making the candy citizens gasp and murmur to each other in puzzlement.

"Look, guys," She began. "It's a real honor to get to be your princess, again, but it doesn't feel any different than having a creepy king around!" She shoved her hands in her sweater pocket. "I can't do that to you guys."

The candy citizens all lowered their heads.

One of them stepped forward. "My lady? If I may ask, without a princess, who shall lead us?"

Vanellope looked down at the ground, seeming much less confident in herself than she was when she raced.

Calhoun stepped forward. "Can I provide a suggestion?"

Everyone looked up at her and listened.

She cleared her throat. "Who all thinks that Vanellope would be an even greater ruler than Candy ever was?"

Everyone, including Ralph and Felix, raised their hand.

"And who all wants Vanellope to guide them and lead them, not as a monarch, but as a fellow companion?"

The same response occurred.

Calhoun looked down at Vanellope. "There you go, kid. They want you to lead them. And if you accept, then you'd be going outside your code. Ruling based on popular vote."

Vanellope looked up at her. "But I spent this whole time living under a rock! I don't know how to lead people!"

"Are you kidding me, kid?" Ralph said, stepping forward. "You just took down a hundred-foot-tall monster using your brains! If it weren't for you, we would've been goners."

"Yeah!" Felix chirped. "And you saved our lives over and over again!"

"And the fact that it was you who figured out Candy's plan from the beginning." Calhoun told her. "I'd say you're more than qualified, pipsqueak. I can't even say all that about myself."

Feeling her spirits lifted a little, Vanellope turned to her clan. "Alright, but nobody gets to call me 'princess'." She stuck out her tongue. "It leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

Taffyta stepped forward. "If we all voted to have you as a ruler, doesn't that make you, like, a president, or something?"

Vanellope turned her head up towards the sky, deep in thought, "Yeah, I guess it does." She cleared her throat. "Alright, ladies and gents, say 'hello' to your shiny new president!" She held out her arms. "As president, I declare that all royal servants be freed. You've done well serving the kingdom, now go find a new purpose."

The Butterscotch children all happily chirped to each other, apart from Camilla, who was looking at the ground with uncertainty.

"And as president," Vanellope continued. "I appoint Taffyta as my VP. And Sour Bill can be my secretary, or whatever the other position is."

Camilla walked towards the newly announced president. "My lady, if I am not to be your servant anymore, what am I?"

Vanellope grinned down at her. "Whatever you want to be!"

Camilla looked down. "I don't know what that would be…"

The candy president thought for a moment. "Then, you can be one of my advisors. I always thought your suggestions were helpful."

The little Butterscotch girl beamed. "Okay! I can do that!"

While the citizens all congregated to discuss how excited they were for what was to come, Vanellope walked over to the three adults, beaming with pride.

"Thanks, guys." She said. "Guess this whole operation wasn't a complete disaster after all."

Ralph knelt down to her level. "You're going to be a great leader, kid."

"Yeah, well," She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I may talk big, but I still don't know squat about being a leader."

"Well, that's why you've got us, shrimp." Calhoun said, arms folded over her armored chest.

Vanellope looked up at them. "Really? You guys would help me figure this whole thing out?"

"You bet your little sugar-brain!" Felix said. "We'll all lend a hand to help."

She was so stunned by their willingness that she nearly cried. But, telling herself she didn't want to feel embarrassed, kept her emotions inside. "Ah, jeez, you guys."

She looked up at Ralph.

"You know, Chumbo, you're not as big of a meanie as everyone said you were."

"Bah," Ralph scratched the back of his head and looked down. "It was nothing. Just did what we had to."

They were smiling at each other for a second, before Vanellope remembered something. "Oh, right!" She dug through her inventory and held something behind her back. "Close your eyes."

He raised his brow but did as she asked. He felt something wrap around his neck.

"'Kay, open 'em up!"

He looked down at the object in his hand. It was a heart-shaped cookie with the words "To Stinkbrain" written in curly frosting letters.

"Uh, thanks." Ralph said, amused.

Vanellope giggled. "Turn it over, silly."

It said "You're My Hero" in the same handwriting.

"It's not as shiny as your Medal of Heroes, but I thought I put enough sprinkles and glitter to make it look as shiny."

Ralph smiled warmly, his heart swelling with gratitude. "Thanks, kid."

She jumped up onto his shoulder and gave him a big hug. "You're welcome to stay whenever you want, Jeeves. You and Hammerhead. If those guys give you trouble, again."

Ralph hugged her back gently. "I appreciate it, kid. Though, I won't be running from my job anymore. Those guys want to put me down for being a Bad Guy? Let 'em. 'Cause I don't need a medal to prove I'm not."

He looked down at Felix, whose big blue eyes were sparkling.

He set her down and she ran up to envelop Felix in a tight squeeze. "You guys are some of the craziest people I've ever seen." She came over to Calhoun and hugged her tall leg. "And you really helped me out here." When she stood up, they all looked down at her with the happiest faces they've had since she first saw them. "Promise me you'll come to all my races?"

"'Course." Ralph told her, with Felix nodding his head.

Calhoun thought for a moment. "I can't promise I'll come to all of them, but I'll do my best."

The rest of the racers called to the young president, telling her that they should check the rest of the map to see if any other citizens had returned.

"Well, guess I'd better go take care of presidential duties." She snickered to herself. "Duty."

"Alright, President Fart-Feathers." Ralph said. "Be good."

Vanellope waved to him as she headed out. "Stay out of trouble, Admiral Underwear."

"You know me, Baroness Booger-Face."

Calhoun rolled her right shoulder, cracked her neck, and stretched her back. "Well, I better go do some damage control." She sighed. "I imagine I'll have a lot to answer for."

"Oh, please, ma'am." Felix pleaded. "If there's anything we can do to pay for our misdeeds, please tell us."

"I'll take whatever punishment you have waiting for me." Ralph said.

Calhoun laughed. "How magnanimous of you boys. But, sorry to say that this mess is on me for letting my guard down."

The two men looked as if they weren't going to accept that, but Calhoun was heavily insistent that this was her burden to bear. Even after they tried to negotiate with her a second time.

She held out her hands towards them. "We square?"

Both Ralph and Felix took each hand, and she yanked them close, leaned forward, and said in a darkened tone, "Don't let me catch your peepin' faces there, again."

"Yes, sir," Ralph said, nodding frivolously. "I mean, ma'am."

She loosened her tight grip, had a sly smirk on her face, and winked at them. "Be seeing you."

She walked towards Rainbow Bridge, dropped a heavy-looking backpack on the ground, and it turned into a hoverboard. And then she was off.

"She really is something." Felix said.

"You said it."

Then the handyman took Ralph's hand in his, and said, "Come on, Ralphie. Let's go home."

…

Back in Fix-It Felix, Jr., the Nicelanders were all gathered in front of Niceland Apartments, each murmuring to each other in concern over the loud noise and the vibrations that followed. Once they heard the train emerge from the tunnel and pull to a stop, they rushed towards the two men.

They all crowded around Felix, separating him from the wrecker.

"Are you alright, dear?" Mary asked, checking over him for any scratches.

"We were so worried about you!" Deanna said.

"I can't believe Ralph talked you into this!" Don told him.

Gene waved his arms around, clearing the crowd around him. "Stand back, people, give him some air." He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Felix, I'm glad to see you back in one piece, and I'm sure you have lots of things to tell us over a few martinis." He turned towards the others. "What do you say we hold a celebration for Felix and all of his heroic acts?"

How was it that Gene was able to talk as if the past two days hadn't happened? If there was one thing Ralph wanted to give the man credit for, it was the ability to keep it together in times of panic. That was something Ralph couldn't have done even if he tried.

Giving Gene an uncomfortable smile, Felix gently pried Gene's arm off of his shoulder and took a few steps back towards the wrecker. "If there was any cause for celebration, it would be for Ralph's heroic acts."

The others just gaped at him in shock. It was Gene who spoke first.

"What acts could that oaf had done that was anywhere near heroic? He went Turbo and abandoned his game." The stubby man crossed his arms. "And worst of all, he dragged you along with him."

Felix's brows furrowed in anger. For once, Ralph was starting to see him lose patience. "Ralph didn't drag me anywhere. I followed him because I wanted to help him achieve greatness, something he shouldn't have to have risked his life for."

He looked up at the big man, who just stared dumbfounded back at him.

"This man protected me from danger." Felix continued. "He saved my life, and that of others'. Because of him, another enemy long thought to have been dead was discovered and defeated. He saved a little girl from a life of isolation. He helped her take back her game." He smiled lovingly at his man. "His quick-thinking and strength got us out of trouble many times."

Gene wouldn't buy it.

"Is that what he told you?"

Felix's smile faded. "Listen, he may be my rival, but you fellas never gave him a chance to prove how good he can be! He doesn't mean to damage the building outside of arcade hours. He's got a heart of gold, and it just baffles me how you people can't see that."

Ralph's face was red.

The rest of the Nicelanders didn't say anything more, but their heads were lowered.

Then Mary stepped up, "Perhaps we may have misjudged you, Ralph. Please forgive us, we haven't moved past our programming. Not really."

Then Deanna. "I wouldn't blame you if you hated us for how we treated you."

And Don had something to say, as well. "Please give us another chance to make it up to you."

Ralph couldn't believe what he was hearing. He'd been speechless before, but now it seemed that he wasn't able to produce words at all anymore.

"Well, gee, guys, thanks, but I don't want you all to beat yourselves up over it, because-"

Gene interrupted. "Hang on! You're not seriously asking me to be friends with the Bad Guy, are you?"

All of them turned to him. He looked at every one of them, expecting support, but they didn't give any.

"Gene," Felix said, his voice unusually dark.

Ralph was about to stop him, "It's okay, Felix. All I really care about is your approval."

But the little handyman felt a new sense of confidence from his and Ralph's journey. He stood up straight and breathed in deeply. "From now on, we will not be having any celebration, or party, or get-together, without Ralph. I want him to be invited to every single festivity we have. And if you refuse this, Gene, then I won't be around to those parties, either."

"But… those celebrations are in honor of our hero! Not our villain!"

"Ralph is only a villain in code. Not in spirit."

Mary spoke up. "Well, Ralph is a big part of our game. Without him, Felix wouldn't have anything to fix."

The others nodded in agreement. Felix grinned at them.

"And he's important to me, too." He said, in a quieter voice. "Not just because he's needed for the game, but because… I love him."

Ralph's face turned an even deeper shade of red.

Gene huffed. "Okay, okay. Fine. I'm not saying that I'll be as close to him as the rest of you are, but…" He sighed in defeat. "I'll make an effort to at least tolerate him."

Ralph nodded. "Good enough for me."

Mary's head perked up. "In honor of Ralph's good deeds, how about I bake another cake?"

Ralph cringed and gripped his stomach. "You know what, Mary? I'm real flattered, and I really appreciate it, but I think I should hold off on the sweets for a while."

The little 8-bit woman nodded. "Of course. We can save the celebration for later."

With that being settled, the Nicelanders all departed, leaving Ralph and Felix by themselves.

Ralph looked down at his man. "Well, that's not something you see every day."

"Heh," Felix blushed. "I just thought that after everything, you deserved better than that."

He took Ralph's hand and led him up the apartment complex back to his suite. Even though Ralph had been there before, he still felt that fluttering excitement in his belly about being invited into his man's home again. Now he wasn't wondering why Felix brought him there in the first place.

Now it wasn't awkward to have both Hero and Villain underneath the same roof, anymore.

Felix continued tugging Ralph forward into his bedroom, where Ralph could see his massive bed in the center.

It was hard to believe that such a tiny hero needed so much space to sleep. It seemed as if it was fit for a lumbering giant like himself.

He sat on the edge of the bed, holding Felix's hands in his giant ones, sighing heavily. "What a day."

"Indeed." Felix said. He climbed up onto Ralph's lap and began kissing him soundly, running his hands over Ralph's firm chest. He pushed Ralph back against the bed and pulled himself on top of him.

Despite the size, the bed apparently wasn't able to sustain the weight of them both, and they both heard a cracking sound and felt it drop underneath them.

"Sorry," Ralph murmured, pressing their foreheads together.

Felix pecked his lips. "It's okay. I've got a bed that's even better now."

It was the absolute worst time for this kind of reaction, but Ralph snorted and laughed, burying his face in his hands. It made Felix tilt his head to the side in confusion.

"What?" Felix pouted, trying to pry Ralph's hands away from his face. "What did I say?"

The big man had to calm himself down afterwards, and he removed his hands from his face with teary eyes. "Oh, that was so corny, Felix."

The handyman turned his head to the side. "It wasn't supposed to be…"

Ralph wiped the tears from his face and ceased all amusement. He pulled Felix close to him and they kissed again. "No matter how it sounded, I still liked it. I like all the things you say to me, Felix." He tucked a strand of Felix's hair behind his ear. "Even when you scold me."

Felix smiled, planting a kiss on his chest. "Well, I haven't gotten there yet, but trust me when I say I will."

"Hmm, I'm looking forward to it. I like seeing you stand your ground. It's kind of hot, actually."

Felix's blushed madly. "Really?"

"Really."

They were quicker than the first time, stripping down until Ralph was only wearing the candy medal around his neck and Felix wearing nothing but his goofy smile. He grazed his fingertips of Ralph's chest, over the place where his wound was, and down to his nether regions.

Ralph inhaled sharply as Felix wrapped his bare hand around his length. He was less shy now, much to Ralph's delight. He moved his hand up and down slowly, teasingly, and watched his lover shudder.

"Damn…" Ralph muttered, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it."

Felix smirked over at him and took it into his mouth as far back as he could without gagging. Which wasn't very far, but it was good enough.

Ralph bit down at his hand, keeping himself from annoying the other tenants. But after a while, he felt as if he'd earned his fun and the right to not care about what everyone else thinks.

"Oh, Felix…" He moaned, gripping the sheets underneath.

He took Ralph's hand and placed it on his own throbbing member, where he instinctively started rubbing as soon as it was there.

Then Felix stopped, biting his lower lip, and looking sheepish. Ralph tilted his head up to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"Um… I wanted to try doing something else." He muttered, silently. "Just to shake things up."

The big man pushed himself up with his elbows. In that moment, Felix's entire nude body turned red like his face. He had Ralph's shaft in between his legs, with his hand still firmly grasped around it.

It took Ralph a second to understand, but when he realized what Felix wanted to do next, his face grew hot and a drop of sweat fell from his forehead. "Oh! Oh, uh… okay."

Felix's eyes went wide and he shook his head vigorously. "We don't have to! But I just wanted to try it once."

"No, I want to, it's just," He looked over Felix's size and stature. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I'll be fine!" Felix insisted. "Really."

Ralph was still unsure, but at Felix's eagerness and his own erotic need, he accepted. "Just say the word and we'll stop, okay?"

Felix nodded his head. Though he was being bold, he was more nervous than he'd been the first time. Nonetheless, he positioned himself atop of Ralph's hard member.

And then he lowered himself and watched Ralph's eyes enlarge to their full capacity, as well as his mouth. Felix was wrought with pain at first, feeling his entire body resist and his teeth clench together hard enough to break. "Ah, Ralph…"

He disregarded it. Within time, he told himself, it'll get easier. He wanted more than just pleasure right now. He wanted himself and his lover to be connected on a deeper level than stroking each other until they saw white underneath their eyelids.

Ralph was in a trance of pure ecstacy. It felt as if his body left him and traveled through an inter-dimensional universe where there was only joy and good feelings everywhere.

But he climbed back down to check on his lover. "You doing okay?"

Felix's face was strained but he nodded his head. There were tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. Ralph was about to tell him they didn't have to do this; he would have been more than fine with doing either act tonight.

But he watched Felix move on his own, without any words of encouragement, or comfort. He never looked so determined.

Not even at the beginning of their journey when he said he was going to help Ralph win that medal.

The wrecker moaned and called his name out enough times to lose count, turning his head from side-to-side, feeling himself nearing the edge.

Felix felt his body relax after the initial part of their act and he was able to move with more ease. He felt his own pleasure flowing through his body as he did. It didn't take long before the both of them had reached the end.

Ralph arched his back and forced his hips upward, biting down on his lip and taking in air through his teeth as the pressure beneath his belly released. His entire figure vibrated with the glorious sensations as they traveled from his center to his limbs. In that moment, it seemed as if his mind had cleared out of all thoughts except for how good it felt and how much he wanted his lover.

How much he loved that little man who had gone through so much to help him.

Felix had stopped moving and he brought Ralph's hand up to his shaft and the big man stroked him rapidly until he released a short time later.

"Ah, Ralph!" Felix yelled into the air, his body trembling and going limp. He fell forward atop of Ralph's chest, breathing heavily.

After a while of catching their breath, Felix slid off of him and laid down beside him. Ralph's eyes were still dreamy, and he was still panting as he stared up at the ceiling fan.

"You know," he said, after a moment of silence. "I think being seen as a Bad Guy might not be so bad after all."

Felix rested a hand on his chest and laid his head on Ralph's arm. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Ralph took in a deep breath to steady his breathing. "If they didn't treat me the way they did, I wouldn't have wanted to get that medal. Then you would've never gone with me, and we wouldn't've met Calhoun and Vanellope." He pulled Felix in close. "And we wouldn't be here, laying in bed like this."

Felix took Ralph's cookie medal in hand and looked it over. "Ralph, you didn't need to be treated like a Bad Guy for us to, well, you know. Get together."

Ralph held his free hand behind his head, and he shifted his eyes down at his lover. "It definitely helped things. I know you're probably still sore at me for throwing myself to the eel pond, but if this is my reward for doing it, I'll take it."

Felix's eyes were serious. "Wreck-It Ralph, if you even think about scaring the willies out of me like that again, I won't be rewarding you at all."

"Oh, come on, please?" Ralph said, playfully. "Not even a little?"

"Nope! Not even an itty-bitty bit."

Ralph chuckled. "It's been a real wild ride. I was the most hated guy in my game and probably other people's, I almost died more times than I care to know in two different games, the arcade almost collapsed because of some sick psycho doing the impossible, we saved a game, helped Vanellope become a real racer, and…" He blushed. "I got to see more of you than anyone else ever has."

Felix snuggled him closer. "How many people can say that?"

"Not many." Ralph said, yawning.

"Would you do it again?"

He contemplated it for a bit, after seeing all that they'd been through and how they'd emerged victorious with the help of their new friends. He thought about how he'd learned many things about himself, overcame obstacles, learned to accept things that he felt he couldn't before.

He felt as if both of them had become different people as they arrived back from their adventures. And it was a great feeling, but right now, he was feeling much too tired to think about the possibility of another.

"Maybe someday." Ralph answered. "But right now, I'm perfectly fine where we're at."

Felix sighed contentedly. "I can get behind that. I'm glad I get to be here with you now, Ralph." He closed his eyes. "I love you."

Ralph smiled, warmth moving from his cheeks to his head. "I love you too, Felix."

As he drifted off to sleep, he thought about how relieved he was that Vanellope was safe from Turbo. How the entire arcade was now safe from Turbo. It still boggled his mind how such an ancient character, whose main feature was his fierce racing skills, managed to overwrite the code and make the entire game answer to him.

And how he was easily defeated by a bold and resilient little girl with a powerful glitch. If she could take down such a formidable creature, she could do anything.

He thought about the soldier lady who hated his guts and ended up siding with them against her own people, and possibly her better judgement.

He wasn't sure why he had this feeling, but he felt as if the four of them would conquer whatever life had thrown at them from here on out. Together.

He placed a kiss atop of Felix's head for one last time before allowing sleep to take over, with one last thought in his head:

There's no one I'd rather be than me.

AN: So sad that it's done with now, but looking forward to posting more Sledge content. I'll be putting an Author's Note at the end of this, because I like speaking my opinions about my writing pieces.