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WHITE LILIES

CHAPTER THREE: CONFESSIONS

I'm doing great. I'm going to receive top marks. I can do this!

I was studying in the library with Harry that same day after breakfast and nothing in this world – magical or not – could disturb me from it. Not even Ron. I wouldn't let any thoughts of him bugger me anymore. He was just being childish...he'd be fine.

Then I blew it. I lost my concentration because I looked up.

I lifted my eyes from the book that I was reading to check if Harry was studying. Well, if he was even trying to study. The thing is he's not. He was staring at me – hard. Why? I don't have an idea.

"H-Harry?"

"Yeah?" he said, his eyes still focused on me. I couldn't help blushing.

"Why are you – er – staring at me?"

"Why? Is it a crime to stare at you?"

"No!" I said to quickly than I meant to. "It's just – I'm not used on seeing you staring at me." Then I changed my tone into a stern one. "I'm studying here, you see, and you are disturbing me."

Harry beamed at me. "How could I possibly be disturbing you when I'm just staring at you?" then he chuckled.

He's doing it again! How dare he do this to me! What a flirt!

"Well, actually, I want to ask you something," he said, and he became serious.

"Voice it out, then, so we can go back to studying," I replied.

He sighed. "Okay. There's this girl," he mumbled, "that always catch my attention."

Now this talk is different. This is not about Quidditch or Voldemort or whatever-stuff that you can come up with. This is about a girl. We're going to talk about a girl that always catches his attention. A girl that he's interested in. A girl.

A girl?

He decided to continue when I didn't say anything. "She's smart, sometimes serious but fun to be with, and absolutely gorgeous. But she doesn't consider herself as a hot chick and thinks very poorly of her appearance. I've watched her blossom into a wonderful lady since she was small and I find myself falling for her. I've never felt anything like this before. This is different from what I felt for – for Cho."

My stomach lurched. So this is it? Harry's in love with someone that's not me. Shame.

"And?" I said, unable to hide the disappointment in my voice but Harry didn't seem to notice it. Odd.

"I'd like you to place your thoughts – to think that you're that girl and put yourself in her situation. You're that girl and I feel these things for you. You're the one that I love."

Love? LOVE! Oh, great. Now he wants me to think that he loves me. He wants me to think the unthinkable! He wants me to dream – to fantasize! He's driving me nutts!

"Is – Is that what you want me to do?"

"Yep," he said. "Can you do it? It's not that hard."

Speak for yourself, Potter! Who told you it's not hard? "Well..."

"Please, Hermione! For me," Harry pleaded. "You know what? You almost have the same personality like hers. Like you're the same person!"

My jaw dropped. Me? So much like her? But – but she sounds perfect! I'm not perfect! I'm not fun to be with! And I'm not gorgeous! Harry's definitely pulling my leg. But – why not? Why don't I let him pull it a little more?

"Really?" I said as casually as I could. "Now what?"

"Well, now that you've placed yourself in her situation," said Harry simply. "Would it be alright if I courted you?"

"Er..."

This was harder than I thought. If I were that girl, maybe, I don't know him that much. I mean, of course, I know Harry Potter! Who doesn't! But the real Harry Potter. And perhaps, I don't have these feelings that I have for him right now. Not yet, maybe.

"Um...if I were that girl," I said, avoiding his gaze. "I think I'll give it a shot. I mean – why not? I would like to know how the great Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, acts around a girl he likes."

"Hmm...okay," said Harry, his lips curving into a smile. "So...would you go out with me?"

"Well, that's a part of the getting to know stuff so I must say yes. I would go out with you."

"Good, good...where would you want to go?"

"Hmm...where would I want to go?" I asked myself.

Of course, I would love to go to a simple but romantic place where I could spend quiet time alone with Harry.

"I'd go anywhere. Take me to places I've never been before, I suppose," I continued. "As long as you're there with me, I'll be fine."

"Really?" he asked, dumbfounded. He was grinning broadly.

"Yeah – I guess so," I said, blushing. This is really stupid. I must not get carried away. Harry needs my help with a girl. I must not abuse this opportunity.

"Right," he muttered. "Would you hold my hand?"

"Huh?"

"No. That's not the right question," he said. "Would it be alright if I hold your hand?"

"Uhm...I think it would be alright."

I could feel my face burning. How could he do this to me? Letting me imagine things that I know could never happen to me...he doesn't have mercy! This is torture! I was studying heaven-knows-what a while ago, then there he was, staring at me then he started on telling me about this Miss Perfect and that he needed my help because he knows that I'm an expert at feelings of girls! I don't even know this girl! You know what? I'm going to ask him right now who this girl is!

"Harry, I just want to know, who is she?"

"Do you really want to know?" he said.

Slowly, I nodded.

A wide grin spread across his face. He looked directly into my eyes and he took hold of my hand. He leaned across the table so that his face was mere inches from mine. He moves closer so that I could feel his breath hot against my ear.

"It's you," he whispered.