Penny was standing in the dimly lit potions classroom, a pile of grimy looking ingredients, labels worn off, waiting for her. Her head throbbed uncomfortably, and she rubbed her forehead in an attempt to make it go away. Looking at what would be hours of work, she groaned inwardly. She still had Transfiguration and History of Magic reading to complete by tomorrow.
"Sit," said Snape, motioning to a seat across from his desk,
She did as she was told and waited for him to whisk around the desk to face her.
"The method for helping the symptoms you have mentioned is known as Legilimency and Occlumency. It is the means for entering someone's mind and the ability to keep someone out of your mind."
"What! You can do that?" Penny said, suddenly paranoid.
Snape nodded, his dark eyes feeling suddenly threatening looking back at her. Had he intruded into her thoughts? Was he there, at this very moment, listening to her turmoil?
"The thoughts of 14 year-olds are very dull, you can put to rest your worry I have every bothered to look," Snape said in an almost bored tone.
"How chivalrous of you," said Penny, feeling relieved. She had definitely committed plagiarism a few times for Harry, the last thing she needed was Snape finding out and tormenting Harry any more than he already did.
"However, this will require you to open yourself me, so I can find the source of the problem and help strengthen your mind. This should relieve the feeling of intrusion you have described," he said, interlacing his fingers delicately, watching her closely.
It seemed straightforward enough to Penny, but she did not understand what was causing the pain or why it had started so suddenly. She heard the nagging voice of her brother in her ear, demanding explanations, reasons, and causes, more information that Snape may be conveniently withholding, but Penny found she just didn't care. It was nearly impossible to remain focused with the continual buzzing that had developed and was on the verge of making her want to scream. It was only the start of term and she already had so many things to catch up on, choir started tomorrow and she had not even considered what their show this year would be. Penny needed the exhaustion gone, she needed the use of her brain back.
"If I agree to this, what are you capable of accessing while inside my head," Penny finally replied in a suspicious tone.
"That is up to you. It depends on your ability to control your emotions. Anything you think of will be shared with me."
"Lucky I am not Harry and have impeccable control of my emotions, but I do have secrets not fit for the delicate eyes of my professor, so steer clear," Penny said, leaning back in her chair, her arms on the back of her head and a grin spreading across her face.
His eyes flashed like they did when she reminded him of her father. Unamused and borderline vindictive, Snape pulled out his wand, laid it in front of her and leaned forward.
"Shallow minds have the least to hide," he said cooly.
"That explains a lot about you then," Penny said, shifting forward in her seat, as though accepting his challenge.
"We shall see, legilimens!" he said, pointing his wand at her more quickly than she thought possible,
Penny's head exploded with pressure. Something was pressing its way inside of her skull, unkindly brutalizing every fiber of her brain. She screamed, her mind pushing against it, but it was no use. She thought she could still see the classroom but at the same time she also saw nothing but the darkness pushing against her. And then it stopped, and she was panting, staring blurry eyed at Snape. He stared at her a moment, his features perturbed.
"Dear me, did I forget to mention it will hurt less if you think about opening your mind to me," he said with a smirk.
"How kind of you to share that tidbit of information after making my skull feel like it would explode," she said wryly.
"We will try again, this time focus," he demanded.
Penny took a deep breath and focused on him, trying to brace herself for the pain she expected to come.
"Legilimens!"
This time Penny searched for the familiarity of Snape. It started as a nudge somewhere in the back of her head, as though a door separated her from Snape. She felt the angry pressure raging against the knocking, trying to drown it effort at which the presence ragged against her filled her head with pain, making it nearly impossible to focus in Snape. But then his hand was on hers, sending pleasant ways of electricity through her. Penny focused on the warm hand, searching for the place Snape was. Her mind relaxed as his finger tapped her skin impatiently, the sensation was oddly soothing to Penny.
And then he was there. She saw him in front of her, but he was also inside her, observing himself through her eyes. The feeling was strange and Penny became overly aware of a cascade of thoughts and emotions towards the man. Pushing aside the onslaught she did not fancy sharing with him, she focused instead on the relief that emanated from Snape's presence. He moved through her mind gently, almost tenderly. It wasn't until he stumbled on the pressure that Penny yelped in pain. Whatever it was, it did not like Snape, and tried to retreat further into the recesses of her mind. The pain of it made Penny physically recoil. She wanted to pull away from Snape, break the connection, but his hand pressed firmly against hers, reminding her not to fight against him. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her mind of all thought, and a moment later the fleeing intruder had disappeared, and it was just her and Snape looking back at each other.
Penny fell backwards in her chair, feeling faint, trying to grab onto anything to keep steady. Snape was beside her in a flash, kneeling down and wiping her face with a cool cloth he had conjured. She had not realized how hot she felt, or that she was panting like she run a marathon.
"That drained a lot of your magic, that's why you feel unsteady." he said, waving his wand and causing a small bottle filled with a bright purple liquid to zoom towards him.
He opened it, and held it under her nose. "Breathe deep"
It smelled like peppermint and cold winter days. It filled her lungs and eased her racing heart. Penny still felt very dizzy, the entire room seemed to be tipping sideways, making her feel sick. She closed her eyes, trying to feel normal.
"I just want to lay down in the dark," Penny said, trying not to throw up.
"Come on," he said, almost lifting her to her feet.
Penny clung to his arm, trying hard to convince her legs to move. She stumbled with Snape to his fire where he tossed some powder into it, causing the flames to burn brightly green. They walked through them and arrived in his office. He conjured a small cot in the corner and laid her down. He stared down at her for a long moment as though conflicted. He seemed to settle on laying the cloth on her forehead. They didn't say anything to each other. Penny was afraid she'd spew all over him. She stared up, trying to find the dark eyes, but they swam across her vision, so she closed them, clutching the side of her bed for comfort. She listened to the sound of his footsteps trail away from her.
Laying there, she wondered what she had just experienced and if this would be a normal occurrence. Maybe Harry was right, she needed to take a breather for a while. Penny did 'too much' because when all was quiet, when there wasn't the next thing 'to do,' she had to think about who she was and who she wanted to be. Being the 'other' Potter bothered her more than she let Harry know. While she loved him more than anyone else, she had felt out of place in his life since they came to Hogwarts. Harry knew who he was as did everyone else. He was happy with the way his life was, with his friends. Penny on the other hand always felt like something was missing, a sense of loneliness. It pushed her to fill her time, to read, to be the person always bringing people together. But everyone already belonged to groups and Penny would always be the person who simply moved through them.
Her eyes fluttered open, the room appeared to be still. It was dim, the only light coming from a candle sitting on Snape's desk where he sat with a pile of parchment. He seemed to be grading, and unamused with the work before him. His eyes narrowed and he scowled at the paper, and then hastily scribbled over the work, moving onto the next. His black hair fell over his shoulder and he took a deep breath in, looking more relaxed than Penny had ever seen him before. Her heart felt at ease, for some reason, whenever the man was around, Penny's life made sense, she felt a little less lonely around him. She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of Snape, wanting to be able to stay just a little bit longer. Without realizing it, she dozed off to sleep, her methodic breathing causing Snape to turn away from his paper. He observed her much in the same way she had him, the world quiet and his eyes full of regret.
The sun was bright the next morning, and the Great Hall was full of noise. Everyone was excited for the arrival of the two other schools later in the evening. A group of 6th year girls sitting next to Penny giggled, wondering out loud if the newcomers would be cute or not.
"Late night," Ron grinned, taking up residence beside her.
Penny nodded, not really wanting to talk about the details of her evening.
He reached over her for the porridge and four scones. "Too bad you'll miss the arrival of the schools tonight," he went on, inhaling a scone.
Penny groaned, remembering she would indeed be relabeling and cleaning the pile of disgusting ingredients she had seen lain out for her yesterday. Snape would not let her off twice and would likely have her make up yesterday's work. She used up all his kindness falling asleep in his office. He had somehow returned her to her bed at some point, which Penny was very thankful for. She slept amazingly and woke up feeling 100 percent herself again.
Just when Penny was about to head towards double potions with the Slytherins, Hedwig soared in and landed in front of her, extending her leg with the letter she carried. Penny patted her on the head and took the letter before running after Harry Ron and Hermione.
"Who's that from?" Harry asked, glancing at the letter in her arm.
Penny looked down to see her herself, "It's from Lupin!"
"What'd he write to you for," said Ron.
"Oh seriously Ronald? She was friends with him last year," Hermione said.
"Yeah, but he was a teacher, isn't that a bit, weird?"
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Why would that be weird? I wrote to him all summer, he gave me an amazing reading list," Penny said perplexed.
"That was marvelous, did you finish Hexes in Hungary? " Hermione said, cutting across Ron before he could respond.
"How'd you get her book list from Lupin?" Ron said, looking from one to the other.
"I sent it to her, of course. We wrote to each other about them all summer," Penny replied.
Ron rounded on Hermione, "How come you didn't write to me all summer?" he demanded.
"Because it's like talking to yourself when the only response isn't even a complete paragraph," said Hermione cooly.
Annoyed, Ron walked in and took his seat next to Harry. Chuckling to herself, Penny rushed off to her seat, hoping to read some of her letter before Snape arrived.
Dear Penny,
It is lovely to hear your detailed thoughts on the booklist I wrote for you. I am also delighted you shared it with Hermione and found discussing them an enjoyable pass-time for a dull summer. Your analysis of Milly Mae's 'Bogarts, Boxcars and the Imagination' was particularly impressive. It is evident you have your father's talent, but I think you have a particular gift for writing. The essay was one of the best I have seen and I was wondering, with some revision, if you would allow me to have Dumbledore submit it to the Daily Prophet? They accept student work, and often do student profiles on the writers. I have attached my thoughts and suggestions. . .
The elation Penny felt in her heart at his words was cut short by a pale hand snatching the letter from her.
"A love letter?" Draco said, a grin across his face.
"Does that make you jealous, Malfoy?"
"I like a challenge, but let's see who my competitor is," he said, scanning the paper.
He burst out laughing when his eyes stopped on the name. "That halfbreed," he sneered.
"Don't call him that!" Penny hissed reaching to take back her letter.
Malfoy kept it just out of reach, baiting Penny into his space. Irritated, she didn't care as she half climbed over him to reach it. Her fingers almost curled around it when a slim hand took it. She looked up into the face of Severus Snape. He scanned the two of them, "It is class time, you can flirt later," Snape said coolly.
"Please sir, that's my letter," said Penny, returning to her seat.
"And you are in no need of it now, unless you think the words of-" he scanned the paper, his lip curling "Remus Lupin cannot wait for later."
The class began murmuring loudly, the last thing Penny needed was them speculating about her relationship with a previous professor. Snape seemed satisfied with himself, and moved briskly to his desk where he laid the letter and then wrote the day's task on the board. Annoyed, Penny set to task and gathered her ingredients. The Confusing Concoction they were brewing was fairly straight forward. The brewing of it almost bored Penny. It was a little fiddly, but there was nothing about it that Penny did not already know. She glanced at Snape's desk, thinking of the letter Lupin wrote her.
When Lupin was a professor at Hogwarts, Penny had loved discussing schoolwork with him. They met weekly and he often went out of his way to find things that might interest her. Lupin really inspired Penny, and unlike Snape, did not find it hard to be open, and tell her what he thought of her and all she accomplished. What he had written in his letter, it excited and motivated her. He really thought she had written something others might care to read.
Sighing, she glanced over at Malfoy's pot, it looked respectable, albeit a little thinner than the instructions described it should be. Snape was making his rounds, glancing in cauldrons and inducing anxiety. "Are we boring you Ms. Potter?" he said when he finally stopped at her table.
"A bit," she replied too honestly.
"Let me help you with that," he hissed, and dumped the entire contents of sandalwood into her cauldron.
"Hey!" Penny yelled, jumping up from her stupor. "You just sabotaged my entire concoction, it was perfect!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, did you see anything Mr. Malfoy?" Snape said, looking at Draco.
"No sir, Penny's concoction looked like that before you arrived," he said in a convincing tone.
Infuriated and biting her tongue, Penny glanced at the clock deciding to start again. She refused to take a 0 for the day, even if it meant she would miss lunch. When the class had finished, Harry gave her a clasp on the shoulder and left for lunch. She didn't look at Snape, too angry for words. He had blatantly ruined her potion, something he didn't even stoop to in tormenting Harry. However, he said nothing when she remained at the end of class. Evidently, even he could only push Penny so far. All she had wanted to do with her time was finish reading her letter and see the suggestions Lupin had made, but of course any mention of Lupin had angered Snape. He hated the man almost as much as he hated Penny's father, and any correspondence with him required punishment. Snape left her alone until she approached his desk with her completed offering. He ignored her, continuing with the paper he was grading. In no mood for the game, she tipped over his ink bottle.
"Sorry, my hand slipped,"
"If you're not careful mine might also slip, Ms. Potter," Snape said, dangling her letter over the puddle of ink.
"Penny," she corrected, her eyes watching his hand anxiously.
"In this school we use proper formality, but of course you assume you are above that."
"Alright Severus, I see you are upset about not being included. But as I have argued before, the use of surnames is archaic, not polite, " she said sardonically.
His eyes flashed at the utterance of his first name. Penny couldn't tell if he wanted to murder her, or if he rather liked it.
"I am your Professor-"
"Don't lecture me after you just abused that title to ruin my work and make me stay during my lunch. If you were lonely, you could have just asked me to stay," Penny cut across him.
His face burned red with anger and he stood. "Get out!"
"Not until you give my a fair grade and then I shall do whatever you like, sir!" And she thrust her Confusing Concoction towards him. He took it with a shaking hand, scribbled a grade on his clipboard before looking back up at her.
"That wasn't so hard was it. Next time try and assign a potion that isn't so rudimentary, and I imagine we will both hav a better time," she said, snatching her letter and marching towards the door.
Her Confusing Concoction hit the wall just to the left of her, apparently Snape was angry enough to throw things, and Penny was not game enough to even look back, slamming the door shut behind her. Returning for detention at 6 would not be pleasant...
Penny made it halfway down the corridor when she stopped and looked back down at the letter in her hand
They accept student work, and often do student profiles on the writers. I have attached my thoughts and suggestions. If you are interested, please send back your revision and I will do the rest.
I am sorry to hear your aunt and uncle, but glad you and Harry can get out of the house and find ways to occupy your time. I completely understand your attachment to Hogwarts, it was the first place that felt like home for me as well. By now you are already back there, and I wish you a great first term, I hear exciting things are happening and look forward to hearing about your busy year.
As for me, I worked on my garden this summer, Hagrid supplied me with some amazing, albeit dangerous, specimens to grow. I've added some of the photos. Try not to worry too much about snuffles, he will write when he can. I will try and make a trip to Hogsmede on one of your free weekends, it would be nice to see you and Harry. I'll send you more info when it gets closer. For now, study hard, and stay out of trouble!
With love,
Remus Lupin.
Happiness soared in Penny's chest. Not even Snape could ruin her good mood. She turned over the envelope and looked through a series of photos of a small cottage, in front of which was a garden. There were some photos of Hagrid carrying what looked to be a man eating plant, and one of Lupin smiling at the camera. next to a sunflower. He looked less tired than he had while at Hogwarts, and very handsome. But Penny had always thought he was handsome, although that could have been her bias. In her mind's eye, there was no better person than Lupin. She read his letter several more times while she walked to the library. She intended to start revising during her free period. On one hand Penny wanted to make him proud, but she also was greedy and wanted to hear from him again. Hogwarts was a bit diminished without him and she missed his company sorely. Her third year had been a very happy time for her, while her fourth year seemed to be shaping up to be a complete nightmare.