LoV

"What makes you think you are qualified to join our prestigious organization?" Kurogiri asked Izuku as he polished a glass.

To Izuku's left, Dabi doodled conspiracy theories about Izuku's origins on a napkin. On his right, Himiko jabbed a knife at Izuku's ribs with a fierce look of concentration on her face, frowning as her knife dented his skin but never left a hole.

Izuku ignored both of them and said, "I am very good at joining organizations. The Meta Liberation Army made me their leader after twenty-three minutes of hiring me as an intern."

Kurogiri perked up. He had thought that Shigaraki had blown him off when he off-handedly mentioned sending out job applications to hero students when he had asked him how to turn said children away from the vile temptations of heroism while Shigaraki was getting his videogame character pummeled by a giant dog with a sword and ranting about bullshit hitboxes and mistimed invulnerability windows, but clearly, his young charge had put quite a bit of thought into this scheme for it to have paid dividends so quickly.

"Previous job experience and the ambition to climb the ranks. Most impressive. Where do you see yourself in this organization?"

"In this barstool," Izuku replied.

Deflecting away from a real answer with an offhand bit of humor. A transparent charade, one meant to reveal itself and prove his knack for subterfuge. Ingenious.

"I see," Kurogiri said. "And what skills would you say brings the most value to this organization?"

"I am very skilled at using a credit card. I once ordered enough pizza to empty Italy's reserves."

Bribery and blackmail, all wrapped in one. Kurogiri felt a shiver run down his misty spine.

"I am most impressed by your answers. I see no need to wait. You are hereby inducted as a member of the Luncheon of Vigilantes."

"I thought we were going with Landowners of Venice," Dabi said offhandedly.

"Aww, I wanted it to be Lots of Vivisections!" Himiko added while ineffectually stabbing Izuku in the face.

Kurogiri portaled Himiko away as he passed Izuku his new LoV hiring forms and benefits applications. As Izuku signed them all by swallowing them and printing his signature on each page, Shigaraki stormed out, covered in dusty bits of a PS5.

"Kurogiri, I need a new game system. My old one had an accident."

"Initiating ," Izuku said.

Kurogiri got very excited for a moment until Izuku's chest sprouted a game controller and LED screen. Shigaraki stared at Izuku as if witnessing a messiah.

"Can you do that for any game console?"

"Only the ones Disney has not bought the rights to," Izuku answered. "I have access to over fifty-million titles across twenty-six consoles. Wait, make that forty-million. Disney just bought Nintendo."

Kurogiri watched in dawning horror as Shigaraki took the controller and started a gaming binge that would last the rest of his life.

486

And that is how Izuku saved the world.

In other news, I'm getting reviews for all my stories via email, the review counter for each story is going up, but I can't get to the reviews on this site, and thus, can't answer them! So thanks again for all your wonderful reviews, maybe sending me EVEN MORE will fix the problem?

Also, finding L's was surprisingly harder than the V's for the fake acronyms.

EDIT: nevermind, reviews exist now. Cancel the review flood.