XENOMORPH

Sero, Izuku, and Principal Nezu all stood around Recovery Girl's unmoving body. An empty jar of gummies lay in front of her outstretched hands.

"Didn't we do this bit already?" Sero asked.

"Just get the black gummy please," Nezu said. "Meanwhile, I have a few suppliers in need of scolding. If you'll excuse me."

Nezu hopped into the air vent for a phone call, while Sero left to find the nearest emergency case. Moments later, Sero returned, covered in glass shards and holding a black gummy.

"She better come back to life," Sero said as blood ran down his face. "I don't think I have enough tape for all these cuts."

As Sero placed the black gummy into Recover Girl's mouth, Izuku said, "Sero, the gummy in your hands is not the black gummy that Principal Nezu described."

"What are you talking about?" Sero asked. "It was black, wasn't it?"

"The gummy was actually vantablack. It absorbed visible light with roughly a thousand times more efficiency than the standard model of black gummy. I hypothesize that it has ingredients that may cause side effects."

"What kind of side effects?"

Recovery Girl's chest twitched. Sero sighed and said, "You had me worried for a sec, Izuku. See? It's working just fine!"

Recovery Girl's chest exploded. Sero shrieked and hid behind Izuku as a black alien parasite wriggled out of the nurse's ribcage.

"Kill it!" Sero screamed. "Kill it with fire!"

"I am not authorized to terminate U.A. personnel."

"That thing ate her! Do something!"

"Understood." Izuku walked forward and held out his hand. "Recovery Girl, you appear to be in need of assistance. Do you desire aid in rising to your feet?"

The alien blinked at him and stretched its arms. "Ah, that was a nice nap," the alien hissed. It looked at Sero and said, "That looks like quite the ouchie, dearie. Why don't I take care of that?"

Sero squealed and pleaded as the alien's telescoping mouth reached for him. It tapped his cheek, and Sero's cuts vanished.

"Huh, neat." Sero clutched his stomach. "My liver feels funny."

The alien rummaged around a refrigerator and brought out a human heart. "Would you like a gummy, dearie?"

"Nope!" Sero slowly backed away. "I'm good."

The alien shrugged. "More for me then!" With a single chomp, it ate the heart and went back to its desk.

Principal Nezu hopped out of the vent and said, "That's a relief!"

"You are relieved that Recovery Girl is alright?" Izuku asked.

"That? Oh no, I'm relieved she's eating human hearts now. They are way cheaper than those gummies we've been ordering." Nezu chuckled and rubbed his paws together. "That means I get to increase the tea budget!"

"British detected. Resetting default language. That sounds like a propah cuppah the Queen's finest, guvnah! May her majesty live forevah!"

Out in the hallway, Sero's chest exploded. An alien wriggled out, looked down at the tape dispensers on its elbows, and shouted, "Seriously?"

497

May her majesty Queen Elizabeth II rest in peace in whatever bunker they put her in to hide the fact she's an immortal vampire or something.

Hey, maybe she turned into a xenomorph too.

Also, made it to 600 followers. Hooray! Can we make it to 1000 reviews?