I Ii
II L
(It looks better in MS Word)
Mina held up three badgers and a snake. "Is this a meme?"
"No, this is Patrick."
Iida adjusted his glasses, making light glint off them. "It's an old meme, but it checks out."
Jirou sat and sipped coffee. "That is not a meme. Change my mind."
Kaminari shot Jirou in the chest, then look at the class. "Who did this?"
"F."
Jirou sat back up. "Oh no. Anyways…"
Sato pointed accusingly. "One does not simply get up from a bullet wound!"
"Tis but a flesh wound."
"Weird flex, but okay."
"I asked for a real meme."
Mina held up a doge.
"I said a real meme."
Mina held up a grumpy cat.
"Perfection."
"Aah!" Mineta cried as the cat attacked him. "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"
Mineta tapped Shoto against the wall. The whole room lit on fire.
Kirishima became a Nokia 3310 and sat at a table. "This is fine."
Koda opened the door, holding a stack of pizzas as an Italian opera played in the background. He stopped dead at the fiery carnage before him.
Kaminari held out a wad of bills. "Shut up and take my money!"
"Wait!" Ochako shouted. "It's a trap!"
He opened it up and beheld pineapple. He gaped, and sparks ran from his cheeks like a Pikachu. Sero gazed inside, and his face melted off.
"My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined."
"I expected nothing and I'm still disappointed."
Mineta sat and chuckled as the fire approached. "We're in danger."
Yaoyorozu pulled a rocket out of her cleavage and slapped its roof. "This bad boy can hold so many students."
Everyone climbed aboard the Bezos II. Kaminari looked out the window and saw a knife slice the planet in two.
"Wait, it's been cake this whole time?"
"Always has been."
Another Kaminari shot him in the back of the head. Kaminari disappeared and reappeared behind him.
"Omae wa mo shinderu."
"Nani!"
Kaminari sheathed his katana. Other Kaminari fell apart in cake slices.
"Memes… in… spaaaaaace!"
A scroll floated in. Iida read it. "Diamonds aren't unbreakable. Kirishima is."
Kirishima's arm turned black. He and Iida shook muscular hands. "Ain't that the truth!"
Tsuyu rode a unicycle. Mineta shouted, "Here come dat boi!"
Kirishima asked, "Do you know da wae?"
"Oh, you're approaching me?"
"Who would win? Unbreakable muscle bro or eine frogge?"
Mineta stood up and reached for his belt. "Dicks out for-"
"Stop right there, criminal scum!" Mina bonked him with a stick. "Horny jail time for you."
"Blazing it!"
Sato, wearing only underwear, asked, "Where is my super suit?"
A weasel ran off with it. Koda shouted, "Swiper no swiping!"
"Guys, jeopardy music is playing! Speed run!"
Yaoyorozu spun and shot someone without using her sniper's scope. Sato danced in a banana costume and shouted, "Peanut butter jelly time!" Iida steered the rocket through a sudden exit. Ojiro put on sunglasses. "Deal with it." Mineta swallowed pills labeled 'you're the most hated 1-A student'.
"Are you not entertained?"
DING!
WORD COUNT REACHED.
TOTAL MEMES: 58
HIGH SCORE!
The assembled 1-A students all cheered and high-fived each other.
"Man, I wanted to make it to sixty-nine!" Mineta shouted.
"We're lucky the author had fifty-eight memes," Sero pointed out. "He doesn't go on twitter, has never been on reddit. He hasn't even visited his facebook page since he made it. Everything he has is recycled from meme channels in the few discord channels he's bothered joining."
A brick wall shattered in the distance. Iida gave Sero a flat look and said, "You shouldn't make more work for Cementoss."
"I don't know why he bothers," Bakugo grumbled. "This story's clearly falling apart at the seams if the author's cramming a bunch of memes into place and calling it a story."
A pie appeared out of thin air and splattered in Bakugo's face.
Kaminari looked up at the ceiling. "Well, I for one welcome our new literary overlord!"
Everyone waited. Kaminari frowned and said, "Come on, nothing?"
Jirou elbowed him. "Nobody likes a suck-up."
"So anyways," Ojiro asked, "How do we get down from here?"
Everyone looked out at the window, at the steadily dwindling planet earth below them.
"Call Izuku?" Ochako asked.
"Call Izuku," everyone but Bakugo chorused back.
As Yaoyorozu made a cell phone, a green light shot up from earth. Izuku's face appeared outside the spaceship's window.
"I heard that you were attempting to compile a collection of memes in as small a space as possible. Can I be of assistance?"
"We appreciate it, but we already-"
"Memes downloaded. Activating memes." Izuku's mouth turned into a plasma cannon and lit up. "Imma firin' my lasah!"
"Oh shit!"
And thus, as the light of Exodia shone upon Seto Kaiba, so to did the light of Izuku's meme shine upon class 1-A. In the dead of space, where no one could hear him meme, Izuku played a song.
"Never gonna give you up…"
821
I had an idea, and the little Kermit Palpatine in my head said, "Do it." So, here it is. Fifty-nine memes, in a 500 word mess of a drabble. You all have my insincerest apologies.
My question to you all is, can any of you beat my record?
Meme directory:
Loss
Badger badger badger
Is this the Krusty Krab?
That anime glasses thing
An old code, but it checks out
Change my mind
Who killed Jirou?
Paying respects
Oh no… anyways
Mordor
None shall pass
Weird flex
Perfection
Doge
Grumpy Cat
Kill it with fire
Instantaneous fire
Old phone best phone
This is fine
I brought pizza… and the place is on fire
Funiculi, funicula
Philip Fry
Admiral Ackbar
Raiders of the lost ark
Pineapple pizza
Surprised pikachu face
My disappointment is immeasurable
I expected nothing
Ralph Wiggums
Car salesman
Jeff Bezos
Everything is cake
Always has been
Trust no one, not even yourself
Nani!
Sheathing the katana
SPAAAAAAACE!
Scroll of truth
Is that a Jojo reference?
Handshake of agreement
Oh shit waddup
Ugandan Knuckles
Another Jojo reference?!
Who would win?
Scottish frogge
Harambe
Skyrim Guards
Bomk!
Literally the 420th word
Frozone
Aw man!
360 no scope.
Peanut butter jelly time!
Taking a sudden yet inevitable exit
Hard to swallow pills
Gladiator
If you believe that one or more of these doesn't belong on this list, I'm rejecting your reality and substituting my own.