THERAPY

"It's been a rough year for our students," Nezu said to the assembled teachers, "So that's why I've devised U.A.'s latest and greatest achievement. Behold! Therapy cubes!"

A camera showed a plain white room. Present Mic hesitantly raised a hand. "I get that they're a bit stressed, but isn't a padded room a bit much?"

"Oh, this is no mere padded room! This cube's state-of-the-art programming detects the cause of the occupant's stress and devises a solution. Allow me to demonstrate."

Loud music blared in one therapy cube. Metal wires hung off Ashido as she got down and got funky without a care in the world.

"Wow, look at her go!" Midnight whistled and cheered. "Think we can get a pole in there?"

"Oh, hold on, the audio's disabled. There we go."

Over the sounds of pop music, Mina wailed, "Please let me out! I've been dancing for hours! I need to pee!"

"Is… she being forced to dance?" Aizawa asked.

"And here we have our next student!" Kaminari had his own wires hanging off him, and they visibly crackled with electric current. With his hair sparking and flailing wildly in the air, Kaminari wrote at a chalkboard with blinding speed. Complex mathematical equations and scientific principles that would catapult humanity centuries into the future cluttered every square inch.

"I can feel every neuron in my brain!" Kaminari giggled and solved nuclear fusion. "They taste like cotton candy!"

"At least now he'll pass my class," Ectoplasm said.

"Moving on! Here, we have Rikido Sato releasing his own stress."

Sato sat strapped to a table while mechanical arms force-fed him entire rolls of donuts. His tear ducts were so muscular that they squirted pressurized tears through concrete walls, to say nothing of the rest of his hulked-out frame.

"And in the next cube, we have Iida working out his frustrations over his crippled brother."

Iida's engines blazed as he raced across a treadmill. Nezu added, "He's also supplying the entire school with power. Think of the savings!"

"I don't know," Power Loader said, "That seems kind of unethical."

"I'll increase your department's budget by ten percent."

"I see no problems with this!"

"Excellent! And next up, Katsuki Bakugo! The therapy cube worked extra hard to make a regimen just for him."

Bakugo writhed and yanked at his restraints. Tiny metal tweezers pried his eyelids open, and a brace pointed his head towards a television screen.

"Is that… Terminator 2?"

"It is! Except an AI rewrote it so all the robots are good and help humanity.

"Wait, but then who are the bad guys?"

"Nazis."

"Since when could Nazis walk through metal bars?"

"An AI wrote it. You should've seen what it did with Harry Potter."

"Are you sure this is therapeutic?" All Might asked.

"Why don't we ask them?" The therapy cubes opened, and everyone staggered out. "Well? How do you feel?"

"P-perfect!" Mina shouted. "I don't need more therapy!"

Nezu posed proudly. "See? A resounding success!"

496

Exactly what we all need after that last drabble I did.