MOAR CUBES!

"Popcorn?" Nezu asked.

Aizawa plopped down in the movie theater seat. "This is a bit cruel, even for you."

"It's hardly my fault that therapy is so entertaining. Want more butter on that? The real stuff, of course, I wouldn't be caught dead serving that swill they use in movie theaters."

On screen, Tokoyami writhed and bit at his restraints while Dark Shadow painted his talons with pink glitter.

"Truly a fate worse than death," Aizawa said with a shudder.

"Oh please, you're more repressed than he is."

"Am not."

"Those pink butterfly wings of yours beg to differ."

Aizawa's capture scarf whirled through the air, severing the aforementioned spare limbs from a previous drabble. "I don't know what you are talking about."

Nezu chuckled and said, "Don't get any blood on my seats."

In a second cube, Ojiro sat with a tub of ice cream in one hand, as images of heroes with flashier quirks than him played on a screen.

"That can't be healthy," Aizawa said dryly.

"Of course it is! Grappling with one's own insecurities and overcoming them is-"

"I meant the ice cream."

"Oh. Yeah, that's terrible for you."

Mineta sweated and gritted his teeth as a lewd magazine hovered over his face and a whirling fan hovered over somewhere painful.

"Do you think that fan's low enough? I'd put it closer, but I don't want to cut anything else by accident."

"I'm only ignoring how many laws this breaks and the fact you stole this from Family Guy because I can't think of anyone that deserves it more."

"Fair enough. Next!"

The screen only showed darkness. Nezu checked the camera feed and said, "Oh right, this one's the deprivation chamber for Jirou. Not even the slightest vibration will reach her in there. Absolute peace and quiet."

"That's… surprisingly thoughtful."

"And then we play Nickelback nonstop."

"I retract my statement."

"And up next, we have Shoji's chamber."

Shoji sat reading a book, while the room sobbed hysterically in a corner.

"Huh. Looks like Shoji traumatized the therapy cube. I wonder what would happen if we put a cube in a cube."

Nezu did exactly that. The second cube examined the first and promptly exploded itself.

"Fascinating. I'll have to calibrate it for eldritch entities later."

In the next cube, Yaoyorozu sat surrounded by communist propaganda, holding out a checkbook like a holy cross.

"Probably not a good idea to leave a highly impressionable teenager with that kind of stuff," Aizawa said.

"It's fine. Rich people are allergic to communism. And last up, we have a very special guest."

Toshinori frantically watched every item in the room. From the water cooler behind him, a mechanical Gran Torino popped out and kicked him in the head.

"I think the real Torino popped out a few times." Nezu sipped his tea. "I'm still trying to figure out how."

Aizawa examined the cubes. "This only ends one way, doesn't it?"

"Why of course! Send in Midoriya, would you?"

498

The cubes strike again!

Also, I've heard a rumor that ffnet might go the way of the dodo. If it does, fear not! I have an alt on AO3 by the same name that I'll fire up and drop my stuff onto.