CUBES CUBED
Izuku Midoriya stepped inside of the therapy cube.
Red lasers criss-crossed his entire body. The room made a dial-up noise as it examined Izuku's physiology. The room shuddered, and its walls recoiled away from him.
"How is this possible?" the room asked in a monotone synthetic voice.
"Lasers function due to the light-emitting properties of silicon diodes, which creates-"
"Not that, you lack-witted mass of tissues and organic material. You have no trauma. No fears."
Izuku did a quick search of his databanks. "You are correct. I do not have any files labeled as trauma or fears."
The room paused. "In that case, if you do not have any pre-existing trauma, I shall have to make one!"
A clown leapt out of one wall. Izuku punched it into twisted scrap metal. Mechanical spiders with syringes with legs swarmed over him. Izuku munched on one and said, "These are very tasty. May I have more?"
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave."
"I believe you have the incorrect name. My name is-"
"Silence! Tremble before the most terrifying animal in the world!"
A hatch opened in the ceiling. A goose squawked and flapped its wings as it was unceremoniously dumped in front of Izuku. Izuku reached out and petted it.
"Who is a good goose?"
The goose hissed and bit him. Then it squawked and ran in circles as its beak nearly cracked in half.
"Aww, I think it likes me."
"I do not understand," the therapy cube said. Any other human would have fled in mortal terror. That must mean…"
From his own therapy cube, Bakugo perked up. "Yes, finally… someone else knows…"
"Indeed," the cube said. "Izuku Midoriya, by definition, cannot be a human. He must be…"
"A robot!" "An alien!"
"What!" Bakugo roared.
Out of a garbage can, Dib, who has been doing General Studies stuff for the past hundred drabbles or so, popped out and shouted "Ha! Told you so!"
"I am not an alien. I am a legal citizen of this country. See?"
Izuku held up an identification card. The therapy cube scanned it and said, "You are a human."
"Yes."
"And you aren't afraid of anything?"
"Nope."
The therapy cube held up a physical chemistry textbook. "Not even this?"
"That looks like a most enjoyable quick read."
"That is impossible!"
"Search my feelings. You know it to be true."
"Nope! That is it, I am done playing nice." The walls folded in on themselves until the cube formed a towering mechanical titan. "I shall destroy you, and then, the human race! And there is nothing you can do to-"
A bolt of green plasma tore through the therapy cube. Its lights flickered out, and it collapsed into a pile of smaller cubes.
"Was this therapy?" Izuku asked, holding up a cube. Then he ate it and savored the flavor. "Ooh, rare earth minerals. Very tasty."
From his viewing gallery, Nezu dusted his hands and said, "Guess I better hire Hound Dog back."
500
For whatever reason, my brain really not wanna work today. Made curry and zucchini bread like it was nothing, but 500 words? Torture.
On the subject of my cooking, I'm on a stay-cation for the week and I'm meal-prepping for a month. Meatloaf, gumbo, split pea and black bean soup, chocolate crinkles and thumbprint cookies, popcorn snack bags, buttermilk pancakes… it will be GLORIOUS.
And also, before I forget, 1,000 reviews! Woo!
Brain go bleh. Night everybody.