WMDs

Power Loader groaned and set down his soldering gun as yet another explosion rattled the walls of his engineering room. Considering that his personal sanctuary had concrete walls and was buried a hundred feet underground, the explosions shaking them had roughly the same payload as a nuke.

"Mei, I swear to god, if you're trying to solve cold fusion again…" As he took the stairs, another explosion rocked the building.

"Wait… is she making explosions on purpose?"

Power Loader sprinted the rest of the way towards the surface.

"Mei… stop… Geneva Convention…"

"What was that sensei?" Mei shouted. "Can't hear you! I think that last blast gave me tinnitus!"

As Power Loader rose to his feet, he heard an incessant clicking noise. "Mei, is that your new invention?"

"This? Nah, that's the Geiger counter!"

Power Loader went pale. "Mei, we need to get to Recovery Girl."

"We'll be fine! I made sure the ambient radiation levels are high enough that any tumors we get will sprout tumors of their own. It's cancer eating cancer!" In a stage whisper, Mei added, "That's how the whales do it."

"I think my kidneys just shut down."

"I'll build you new ones."

"Please don't."

From down the testing range, Izuku waved and asked, "Are you ready for the next one? My new composition requires additional testing."

"Coming right up!"

"Wait, you're testing weapons on a student! That's illegal! And immoral. And worst of all, expensive!"

Mei clamped a hand over his mouth. "Hush, it's time for the next test. Baby forty-six, antimatter payload."

"Anti-matter!" Power Loader screeched through the muffled hand. "Are you trying to kill us all?"

"It wouldn't be much of a doomsday device if it didn't. Fire!"

Power Loader ducked for cover, which probably wasn't the wisest move. He missed one hell of an explosion, and if the containment shields failed, he'd die a lot more slowly of having his insides cooked from the superheated gases expelled than getting vaporized by the gamma-ray blast emanating from the conflagration of exotic particles brought into being then swiftly snuffed out by the tearing asunder of reality itself. The shields held, so Power Loader didn't get to see the bright, intense flash of UV light that heralded the annihilation of all matter within a ten-foot radius around Izuku Midoriya.

As the smoke and radiation got sucked out a vent and pumped into the atmosphere, Izuku Midoriya stood in a crater so perfectly spherical that the atoms themselves were sliced into shape.

"Huh. Even that didn't leave a scratch. Guess we'll have to roll with baby forty-seven." She held up a water cannon with Mina taped to it.

Izuku took one look at the doomsday device aimed at him and hastily said, "Testing now complete. Have a nice day!"

Izuku leapt through the roof, leaving a Midoriya-shaped hole behind. Mei ran after him, shouting, "Get back here! It's baby-making time!"

Power Loader chugged a bottle of whiskey. "Good thing my liver's not working either."

499

Did humans get Quirks because of radiation frying our DNA? It would explain a lot.