Clowns (Can You See Me Now?)
ThislovehastakenitstollonmeShesaidGoodbyetoomanytimesbeforeAndherheartisbreakinginfrontofmeIhavenochoicecauseIwontsaygoodbyeanymore
Sakura
I spent the most of the day outside. For once, I felt free. The air was so clean. The trees were so thick and green. Life seemed so beautiful. I had that same happiness I had when I was with Naruto-kun. I stood still and closed my eyes to take in the beauty around me. I began to imagine my child after it was born. I could already feel their hair through my fingertips. Their happy laughter rang through my ears. Suddenly, it didn't matter who the father was, all I cared about was my child's happiness and health. I lightly stroked my three-month belly in joy. I was glad I didn't abort the baby. But soon, my sweet bliss would die into painful sorrow again.
I made it to our mailbox in the late afternoon. I got the mail while I was in the clouds. I looked through the mail as I walked. So far, I only saw the bills. It was easy for me to pay them off when I took extra jobs to support Katsuya and me. The four bills we had didn't pull me down at all. But then, I came across a cherry blossom pink envelope. It smelled of lilies. The handwriting was elegant. Right then, I knew it was a girl's handwriting. It was too pretty to be a guy's. Uneasiness fell on me. I nervously opened the envelope and began reading the letter. My discovery disappointed me greatly. This was a love letter from a girl he met last summer. They had been writing to each other ever since then. The worst part is that she wanted Katsuya to run away with her. I dropped all of the bills on the ground in despair. My boyfriend had been cheating on me long-distance. I ran to the house with the letter in my hand. I was both sad and angry now!
"KATSUYA!" I yelled when I stormed into the den. I found that bastard sitting on the couch. He looked up at me like a sweet little child. I didn't buy it this time! "Katsuya!" I snapped. "What the hell is this?" That sweet child look on face broke like when he saw the open letter. He too became angry. He rose to feet and pushed me against the wall. My anger-sadness became frantic as well. "You went through my mail?" he yelled. My fury stiffened. "I had good reason to!" I yelled back. "I'm tired of you sleeping around with different women every night! You expect me to stay faithful to you but yet you don't follow your our expectations. If you had treated me better, I wouldn't have ran to Naruto-kun!" This was the straw that broke the camel's back. Katsuya smacked my in the face hard. I fought back my tears fiercely. Not this time! I am not going to be a victim today!
I pushed him off me and he stumbled back. Katsuya was a bit startled. I grabbed a dagger and held in up in rage. My captor just smirked at me and laughed. "Are you going to stab and kill me?" he asked like Satan himself. I clinched the dagger tightly. "Go on," he hissed at me. "Do it! Kill me and I'll be free from my hell and misery forever! You'll be doing this village, the baby, and yourself a favor. So go ahead, stab me. I know you want to, because to loathe me deep down in the core of your heart!" I became hesitant. Why couldn't I move all of sudden? He spoke the truth too clearly. All except one thing, I didn't hate him as he came to believe. I still loved him and wanted to help him find closure in his life for what he did to Okichi. Katsuya used to talk so admirable about her and he said he felt horrible for murdering by accident. But my mission was getting to deadly to bare. It would be easier for me to stab and kill him and make it look like a drunken suicide. But still….
Katsuya just laughed. "You can't do it, can you?" he asked. "That's not true," I spoke up. "I love you with all of my heart!" "LIAR!" Katsuya yelled like a bloodthirsty savage. I froze in pity. I wanted to reached hold him in my loving arms. My love calmed down again. Then he stepped forward and slapped the dagger out of my hand. It hit the ground with a loud clank. Katsuya then shoved me to the ground so hard that I fell and landed on my back with a crash. My anger became fear again. "I'm sorry Katsuya-kun!" I cried out. But it was too late. Katsuya kicked me repeatedly. I put my arms over my stomach to protect my child. I fought back my tears harder as Katsuya kept kicking me. He kept yelling bitch and whore over and over again. Each kick was more painful than the last.
At the end, I lied on the floor in pain. Katsuya stood over me smirking. "Stupid whore and pathetic bastard child!" he said. Then, my love left me again. I lied there and cried in misery. I was fighting a losing battle.
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