Disclaimer: The usual...JKR owns Harry Potter and they lived happily ever after. The end.

WHITE LILIES

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: MY FAULT

I couldn't concentrate and my stomach was grumbling.

I was in the library, trying to bury myself alive behind all of those books that I took. At least I was safe there. No one would bother to enter the library on weekends aside from me. In that way, I wouldn't have to face Harry. I was safe – and starving.

I wasn't able to eat breakfast because of that – er – little misunderstanding between Harry and me this morning. I went straight to the library after that, fuming. I took this book about...this stuff and read about...something. Oh, honestly, I couldn't remember!

How can you remember, said the other part of my brain. You didn't read it! You just took the book and stared at it for a whole hour.

Okay, fine! But that was only because I kept on thinking about him and that hurt look on his face. I couldn't seem to take it off!

That's because you are guilty. You hurt his feelings and now your conscience is bothering you.

Guilty? Guilty of what? I just told him to leave me alone because I need some peace because I was very pissed.

Pissed because you were insulted by the school nurse? I know you were hurt by what that – lady said about you, but that doesn't mean that you have to do the same to others!

But it was Harry's fault! Madam Pomfrey wouldn't be angry at me if he didn't act as an eight-year-old child and removed those bandages! Besides, he knows how Madam Pomfrey reacts when it comes to her patients. He's the Head Boy, for Merlin's sake! He should know how to behave!

That's Harry we are talking about. It's normal for him to act like that! And you should have stopped him, Madam Pomfrey told you to. I know he would listen to you.

But he didn't! I told him to quit it but he still continued. And I was the one to suffer all those insults! Now, he must take the consequences of his wrong doings.

Yeah, maybe he didn't listen to you and it was his fault, alright. But remember, he apologized to you! He said he was sorry and he said it three times, all of them were from his heart. Why didn't you forgive him?

Well, I – I don't know! Maybe I want to hurt him because...because...

Because what?

Because I love him. I love Harry.

"Now that doesn't make any sense," I said out loud without realizing it. I sighed. Being alone didn't help me think either. What I needed was someone to talk to. Someone who could give me a good advice. Someone that could understand me. Someone like Ginny.

Precisely.

I stood up, returned the books to their proper places and went to look for Ginny.

"What do you think?" I said to Ginny after I told her what happened this morning. She wasn't there to witness our argument.

I looked all over the school for her. After about an hour of looking, I decided to look inside our Common Room. I avoided that place because I was afraid to meet Harry. What if he was there? How would he treat me? Cold? How would I react? What would I say to him?

But fortunately, he wasn't there. Where ever he was at that time, I don't care. As long as he doesn't come in here, it's fine with me. I found Ginny playing Exploding Snap with Dean when I arrived. I sat beside her and muttered that I needed to talk to her. She understood and shooed Dean away to talk to me.

Ginny frowned, her eyebrows furrowed. "You know what? You were so mean! How could you do that to him?"

"Do what?" I asked innocently. "I didn't do anything!"

"Now look, what would you feel if Harry told you that he doesn't need you?" Ginny said seriously.

"I'd be hurt, of course!" I said. "Would you like it if you were rejected?"

"Exactly! And that's what you did!" Ginny exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Hermione, you broke the guy's heart!"

"Well, I – yeah, but I didn't mean to do it," I said, facing the truth. "I wasn't thinking properly at that time..."

What have I done?

"Your anger took control over you," Ginny said. "You owe him an apology."

"Why?"

"Hermione, please don't make me explain it to you again! I'm going to have a headache!"

"Okay, sorry," I murmured.

"Now, I realize, you and Ron have a similarity," Ginny said, half smiling. "You could be soo thick sometimes!"

"Oh, come on," I said and stuck my tongue out. "Fine. I'll do it. Tonight. Promise."

"Good," Ginny nodded. "Now, I know you are starving. You didn't have breakfast and lunch and you'll be skin-and-bone if you miss another meal. Come on!"