DODGEBALL

Nezu strode up in a black and white-stripped shirt and blew on a whistle. "Today, you'll be playing dodgeball."

"Cool! But, uh, why are we all on the same side?"

"And where's Midoriya?" Kaminari asked nervously.

"Excellent question!" Nezu gestured to the other end. Izuku strode out, bouncing a dodgeball in one hand. "He will be your opponent."

"Nineteen on one?" Iida asked. "That seems extremely unfair!"

"It is," Nezu agreed, "But sadly, Vlad King is putting his class through remedial training today. I hope you all know the five D's of Dodgeball!"

"Ooh!" Sero shouted, hand raised. "They're Dodge, Dive, Duck-"

"Yep, and Don't Die!" Nezu finished.

"That's… not how it's supposed to go."

"Believe me, those last two words are the most important. Now, have fun!"

As Izuku wound back an arm, Mineta said, "Pfft, there's only one of him. How bad can it be?"

Izuku threw. The dodgeball slammed into Mineta's chest, bounced into five other people, then bounced straight into Izuku's hand.

From the crater in the far wall, Mineta feebly reached out and said, "I can see the gates of heaven. And there's titties!"

Jirou pulled him out of the wall. "Suffer with the rest of us."

"No… let me die, I lived a full life."

"As tempting as that is, have fun at Recovery Girl's office."

As robots carted out Mineta and the five other injured students, the rest took defensive formations. Shoto made a thick wall of ice, while Yaoyorozu made Kevlar vests for everyone.

"I'd normally buy these," Yaoyorozu said, "But this is an emergency."

"Can you make a PS5 too?" Kaminari asked. "It's an emergency."

Izuku threw a PS5 and smacked him in the chest. As Kaminari rose, he cried for joy despite his broken ribs.

"Finally! It's been 3,000 years!"

As Kaminari limped away with his prize, Izuku hurled more balls. Walls of ice rose, blocking the assault.

"Barriers detected," Izuku said. "Recalibrating."

With a loud whining noise, Izuku expanded into a towering titan, with cannons for arms and a whole truckload of dodgeballs hanging off his back.

Bakugo, sporting warpaint and holding a dodgeball in each hand, shouted, "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! Today, we celebrate our-"

As Bakugo threw, Izuku morphed into an L shape, avoiding the ball entirely. Then his arms made whirring noises. Dozens of dodgeballs slammed into Bakugo, driving him deep into the playing field.

Sero dropped his dodgeball. "Every man for himself!"

Minutes later, the bodies of 1-A were strewn across the cratered playing field. Amidst the smoky ruins, Iida stood alone, legs smoking, panting hard from sprinting through the dodgeballs. As he stared down the barrel of Izuku's machine guns, he said, "Now I see how it is unfair."

A lone dodgeball struck him in the chest. As Iida hit the dirt, Izuku said, "Get good, noobs. That is what the internet says I should say after winning."

495

You can dodge a wrench, but you sure as hell can't dodge Izuku Midoriya.

Also, I done did a derp. I posted my latest Excellent Adventure chapter a week early. Brain was firing on none of the cylinders last week. Ah well. Haven't decided yet if I'll roll with it or stick to the old schedule and wait three weeks.