Arthur Finds a Clippie Thing
One day Arthur found a clippie thing.
"I just found a clippie thing," said Arthur.
"Arthur just found a clippie thing," said Ford.
"Could one of you expla…" began Zaphod.
"It's no use!" yelled Trillian.
"Oh, okay," said Zaphod, "If you say so, I guess. But I thought…"
"Someone's taken my lipstick!" screeched Trillian, which was what she had been talking about in the first place.
"'It's no use' what?" said Arthur.
"It's perfectly obvious," said Trillian, glaring at Arthur. Arthur whimpered.
"Yeah monkey-boy," said Zaphod, hoping to win points with Trillian.
"I ate your lipstick," said Ford suddenly, "Well, first I used it, then I ate it."
"You're wearing lipstick?" asked Arthur.
"Well, itis purple," Ford pointed out.
"'It's no use' what?" said Zaphod.
"I already asked that and you told me I was stupid," said Arthur.
"You'rereally annoying me," said Zaphod. Arthur shrugged.
"So, what do you think this clippie thing is for?" said Arthur.
"Everyone forgot about thatminutes ago," said Zaphod dramatically.
"You ate my lipstick?" asked Trillian.
"More importantly, why is he wearing it?" said Arthur, but no one listened to him.
"I thought it would taste like grapes. But it didn't."
"Grapes?" said Zaphod, "I've got some grape juice right here." He took a flask out of his Snazzy™ jacket.
"Why do you have a sudden obsession with juice?" said Trillian.
"It's very healthy," Zaphod said defensively. Trillian gave him a look.
"Alright, I put some Bibley's Death Drink in it," said Zaphod, "And some Ole Janx Spirit." He sipped at his flask.
"Oh. Never mind. This is rasp-carrot juice."
"That's my favourite!" said Ford excitedly. He grabbed Zaphod's flask and drained it.
"Hey!" said Zaphod. Then Ford ate the flask.
"That was very plastic-y," said Ford, crunching on the lid, "I'm not eating one of THOSE again."
"That was a cool flask," Zaphod complained.
"Excuse me," said Arthur weakly, "Wasn't the plot supposed to be about my clippie thing?"
"Hey, a clippie thing!" said Ford, grabbing it, "I haven't eaten one of those yet."
"I'm very fond of that," said Arthur.
"You just found it," said Ford.
"I named it Charles," said Arthur.
"Huh," said Ford. He bit into it thoughtfully, then clutched his jaw and spit it out. Arthur snatched it off the floor, wiped it as well as he could on Ford's jacket, and then cuddled it.
"It's made of metal," explained Ford.
"You ate a plastic thermos," said Trillian.
"It's going to be all right, Charles," Arthur said soothingly. Ford looked at Arthur.
"Are you going to eat that bathrobe?"
THE END
Has Arthur finally snapped from the stresses of space travel?
Or is the author simply writing in a rather childish vein?
I expect you all don't care.
If I was you, I wouldn't.
This is another one of those stories in which I invent the title first, and then write the story to follow it.
You can generally tell.