BLINDFOLD

Class 1-A fumbled around an obstacle course with blindfolds on, trying to reach a button. Aizawa watched from his sleeping bag and sucked on a pouch of jam.

"I think it's to the left," Mina said as she fumbled around the room.

"Your left or my left?"

"We're both facing the same direction!"

"How do you even know? We're both wearing blindfolds!"

"There! Found it!"

Mina pressed a yellow button. A hatch in the ceiling opened, covering her in maple syrup and glitter.

"That was the yellow button," Aizawa unhelpfully pointed out.

Shoji sprouted another eye, but the moment it blinked, Aizawa's capture scarf snaked around it.

"Aw, come on!"

"No eyeballs allowed. You must use your other senses to find the correct button."

"Is that what the point of this exercise is?" Iida asked. "To keep us from relying on our eyes in situations where we might not be able to see?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Aizawa noisily sucked on his pouch. "Watch out behind you."

"Behind me?" Iida turned and got a faceful of banana crème pie.

"Ojiro, duck."

Ojiro quickly crouched, only to get a duck thrown in his face. Koda, suddenly having an idea, asked the duck where it could find the red button. The duck honked at him, and Koda pressed a button.

As an entire anthill rained down on Koda, Aizawa said, "Ducks are colorblind. And liars."

"Is this part of the lesson too?" Hagakure asked as she hung up-side-down, with her arms and legs bound by slinkies.

"You never know what situation you might find yourself in," Aizawa commented dryly. "Now tick tock, you have five minutes until the skunks get let out."

That sent everyone into a button-pressing frenzy. Yaoyorozu slapped a button, only for the button to slap her back because it was shaped like an apple. Sato's button turned into cake, which was rather inconvenient, because Aoyama's button released a toddler that assaulted him for it.

In the middle of the unfolding chaos, Izuku stood unmoving. Aizawa gave him a shrewd look and asked, "Why aren't you pressing the button?"

"Because there is no button of the description you gave."

All of Class 1-A froze and turned towards Aizawa. Their teacher sighed and asked, "How exactly do you know that?"

"I hacked into Nezu's cameras."

"Fine. Congratulations on seeing through the logical ruse."

"Aizawa-sensei…" Ochako's voice dripped with threatening malice. She wiped rainbow vomit off her chin and asked, "Did you do all this so you could watch us suffer?"

"Nezu gives me one day a year for something like this." Aizawa smugly sipped on his jam pouch. "What are you going to do about it?"

Ochako raised a fist and shouted, "Get him!"

Everyone sprinted forward, and promptly tripped over the wire Aizawa laid around the room. As spiders, snakes, centipedes, and Gran Torino fell on them all, Aizawa brought out a camera.

A shadow covered him. Izuku loomed over him, cracking his knuckles.

"Right," Aizawa said. "You're here."

500

Kaminari pressed a button. An Italian plumber in green clothing came in and said, "Here's your liver back."

"Ooh, sweet!" Kaminari shoved it into his lower back. "Now I have two of them! Twice the alcohol!"