Summary: A set of oneshots based on the Scary Movie series. The scariest movies around with a Scary Movie and Naruto twist. Rating for swearing and possibly bloody situations.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Scary Movie, Saw, or Jeopardy, but I do own a basketball.

Thank you to all that reviewed or at least checked out my last fanfic. Here's another shot at humor. Here goes nothing...

Scary Movie: Naruto Style

Saw

Water was everywhere as Naruto thrashed around. The water stung his eyes even when he tried to snap them shut. After finally realizing he was underwater, Naruto started to flap his arms. His hands felt the edge of a container and he heaved himself out.

Naruto wiped the water from his eyes. He blinked a few times to get the remaining liquid out of his eyes.

As much as he blinked, he couldn't say anything. Naruto was in complete darkness.

"H-hello?" he called out hesitantly. "Anybody there?" His eyes widened as no one answered.

"Shut up, baka." Came some voice.

Naruto's head snapped toward the voice. "Hey, who the fuck are you- wait, Sasuke-teme?"

The lights turn on to reveal Sasuke smirking at Naruto. Except Sasuke was in a monkey suit. To make it worse, it was a GREEN monkey suit. Closer analysis revealed it had Rock Lee eyebrows and Rock Lee haircut and Rock Lee spandex. But it can easily be passed on for a green monkey. Naruto looked around and he was in a totally disgusting bathroom. There was crap on the floor and apparently it looked like someone drew on the wall with a graffiti marker. It said "Pimp" with a smiley face. The whole place smelled like-

"Piece of shit!" Naruto cried. "This place smells like a piece of shit!"

Suddenly a cardboard box came in and smacked Naruto on the head with a toilet brush. "Please don't interrupt the narrator." It said sweetly. Then it farted and ran off the screen.

"All right, I'm getting out of here!" screamed Naruto. When he tried to stand up and walk away, his ankle jerked backwards. He looked down and he saw his ankle tied to a chain. He tore at the chain but it didn't budge.

"Stop that", hissed Sasuke. "We're BOTH trapped here." Naruto glanced and saw Sasuke was also tied up.

Suddenly, the TV flickered. Naruto and Sasuke stared.

There was a basketball game on, then the screen flickered and now it showed an episode of Jeopardy.

The screen flashed again and this time it showed an absolutely hideous white- faced puppet with-

"Choji cheeks!" screeched Naruto jabbing his finger toward the screen. "CHOJI, what the hell is going on!"

The cardboard box came in again and smashed Naruto on the head with the puppet man's tricycle. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!" It got so mad, it blew up and it's Styrofoam packing popcorn inside organs blew up everywhere.

"Ahem!" coughed the puppet. Sasuke and Naruto's head snapped toward the screen.

"As you just saw on this screen", it began. "Many people play games with other people's lives."

"What the crap are you spitting out?" yelled Naruto. "How is this related to us!" Sasuke threw an old toilet at Naruto.

"Shut your trap," he snapped.

The ugly puppet cleared its throat again. It held up a GameBoy and the screen had Naruto sprites everywhere. It turned on a PlayStation and Naruto's face flashed on.

"Doesn't this ring a bell?" it asked slyly.

Naruto and Sasuke froze and were silent. The puppet began again. "Don't be so scared", it said. "I just want to play a game."

"What kind of game?" questioned Naruto and Sasuke at the same time.

"Heh heh. It's quite simple, actually. There are machines planted in your arses. In exactly 10 minutes, the machines will detonate and well, eheh, let's just say, it won't be pretty. The device to deactivate the machines are in a completely SAFE place in this room, along with the key to the chains on your ankles. Figure out the rest from there." The puppet cackled.

"NANI!" cried Naruto. "You mean we're going to getting our asses blown up!"

The puppet cackled even more, "Now you have 9 minutes left!" The TV turned to static.

Naruto and Sasuke looked around frantically and Sasuke spotted something. "A safe!" he yelled. "The device and the key are in that safe!"

"Gyah, how do you get there! I can't reach because of these stupid chains!"

"Stupid baka! Stop wasting time and look for the answer!"

Their eyes scanned the room again and Naruto saw the saw. (A/N:Pun!)

"S-sasuke", Naruto's voice was shaky. "I think I found the answer."

"What is it?"

Naruto pointed toward the saw. "The puppet bastard wants us to saw off our foot to get to the safe."

Sasuke stared directly at Naruto "…You go first."

Naruto's eyes widened and he seemed VERY angry. "No way! I have an idea!"

Naruto made the Kage Bunshin hand signs and a shadow clone appeared. The clone was not held down by chains. The clone walked over to the safe, opened it and pulled out the device and the key. It pressed the button and tossed the key toward Naruto then poofed away.

"See, Sasuke-teme?" Naruto said proudly. "I am smart too!"

Naruto unlocked his chains and walked over to Sasuke. He picked up the saw and stared at the dry blood on it.

Sasuke had his hand out for the key and instead…..

Naruto cut Sasuke's foot off with the saw!

"Oh my fucking god!" screamed Sasuke. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT!"

Naruto screamed also. "I don't KNOW! A sudden feel of the story plotline came over me! It's not my FAULT!"

Sasuke stopped screaming and he's like "Okay, dude, whatever."

Then he dropped dead.

The End

Okay, so maybe it sucked. I don't know. Please review and tell me. If you have an idea or what not, send it in a private messgae or something. Ideas are always welcome! . But review first!

P.S. Sorry for shortness!