OBJECTION

Iida, wearing black robes and a white beard, slammed his gavel. "The trial of Ashido Mina v Mineta Minoru shall now begin. Prosecution, please present your opening argument."

Yaoyorozu cleared her throat. "The plaintiff, Mina, woke to a short, dark figure rummaging through her dresser. After she pursued the figure, losing him in the darkness of the dormitory's halls, she found several items missing from her dresser. We are all aware of Mineta's… passion for feminine accessories, and the profile of the thief fits no one else in this class."

"Very well. Defense, your statement?"

Izuku slicked his hair back, pointed his finger at the judge, and shouted, "Objection!"

Iida slammed his gavel. "The defense has nothing to object to. Your opening statement, please."

"That was my opening statement."

"Ah. My apologies. Prosecution may call its first witness."

"Prosecution calls Mineta to the stand."

Sweating bullets, Mineta lowered the microphone to his height. Yaoyorozu asked, "Where were you last night?"

"In my room."

"And what were you doing there?"

Mineta quivered on the witness stand. "Sleeping."

Yaoyorozu raised an eyebrow. Under the pressure of her stare, Mineta shouted, "Fine! I was playing with My Little Pony figurines! Happy?"

Yaoyorozu went pale. In a faltering voice, she asked, "Were you… you know…"

Mineta looked confused. Then horrified. "God, no! Why would you think that? I could never do that to Rainbow Dash!"

Iida slammed his gavel. "Order, order! The witness is hereby dismissed before we have to adjust this story's ratings and warning content. Next witness!"

Yaoyorozu drank an entire pitcher of water to wash out her previous words. "We call someone who claims to have definitive proof of the culprit. Katsuki Bakugo!"

Bakugo strode confidently up to the stand. Yanking the microphone off its stand, he shouted into it, "Midoriya-"

"I have no further questions," Momo abruptly cut him off.

"Robots are putting microchips in the-"

"Security!" Iida shouted. Sato and Shoji bodily dragged Bakugo off the witness stand.

"I have no more witnesses," Momo said.

"Very well. Defense?"

"Objection!"

"You need a witness up here first."

"Oh. Then I call Dark Shadow to the witness stand."

Tokoyami, confused, walked forward. Izuku shouted, "Objection!"

"Objection sustained," Iida said. "The defense attorney clearly called for Dark Shadow to the witness stand."

Dark Shadow, nervously clicking its claws together, drifted out of Tokoyami's shadow. Once they reached the witness stand, Izuku pointed at it and shouted, "Objection!"

"Midoriya, you haven't even asked the witness a question yet!"

"Fine, I did it!" Dark Shadow shouted. "Tokoyami never lets me buy any pretty clothes at the store, so if I want to wear anything nice, I need to borrow it from one of the girls!"

Iida nodded. "Jury, your decision?"

Jiro glumly stepped forward and said, "We, the jury, reluctantly find Mineta innocent of all charges. And guilty of being a brony."

"Very well. The sentence shall be rehabilitation with Hound Dog."

Mineta shivered as Hound Dog came in, hefting his bomk stick.

499

Later, in Hound Dog's office…

"And then Twilight Sparkle and Spike make cupcakes together for Princess Celestia," Hound Dog said, holding figurines in each hand.

"Why, thank you!" Mineta pantomimed. "These are the most delicious cupcakes in ponyland!"