Justin

I was glad that Jhondie wasn't home when I got back. I didn't know how to tell her how I was feeling about our baby. And I didn't know if she would believe me anyway. But I knew something I could do to show her that I was feeling better about the situation and I wanted to make it work. Yeah, I was still scared, but after talking to my dad, I found that that's something pretty much all men feel when they find out they are going to be a father.

Dad had been surprised at the news, but he was pretty excited to hear that his first grandchild was on its way. He told me that he had been terrified when I was born because I was the first baby that he had ever held in his life. I realized that it was okay to be nervous. I was going to make mistakes. The funny thing was that Dad told me some of the mistakes he felt he had made, and I didn't understand because I never saw those things as mistakes. And then I realized that was how my son or daughter would see me. It wasn't going to be easy, but we would manage. I wasn't sure how good of a father I was going to be, but I knew Jhondie was going to be an incredible mother. I just wanted to do something to let her know how I felt.

A few weeks before, Jhondie and I had been shopping at a baby store. Little ironic now. One of Jhondie's friends from college was pregnant and Jhondie was looking for a gift to give her at the baby shower. At this one place they had a beautiful antique crib on display. It was hand carved out of solid mahogany, with incredibly ornate carvings of fairytales in the head and footboards. There was a silk canopy over it that could be removed with this gauzy material that flowed down to the floor. Jhondie had thought it was exquisite. I made a few jokes about what Cody would do to the material. We both had gotten a good laugh and then we went off to pick out Shelly's gift.

I called the store and found out that they still had the crib. It could be delivered the day after tomorrow. I couldn't wait to see Jhondie's reaction when she saw that I had remembered that crib. Yeah, it was extravagant, but a man only had a firstborn once, right? But I was going to have to think about some practical considerations as well.

My apartment was technically large enough for a baby, but I had to admit that I didn't want to have to give up my office for a nursery. Not a problem. The lease was up in September. We would just not renew it and get a bigger place. I started looking online at apartments and then stopped myself. Why bother with a three bedroom apartment? A kid needed a yard to play in. And hell, if we wanted another one – several years down the road for sure this time – then we might as well have a place that gave us some room to grow.

I started looking at homes around the Los Angeles area and its suburbs. I wanted someplace that would be comfortable even if we added another child to the mix later. A yard, good schools, maybe a pool in the back. The sad thing was that even with my finances, which had grown considerably over the last two years despite my accountant's warnings on spending; I still had to be careful over property costs. One place I thought that was very nice carried a $22.4 million dollar price tag. But I didn't want a palace. I wanted my kids growing up respecting money, and not thinking they were better than someone that didn't have as much.

I honestly lost track of time going through different properties. Some were way too expensive, and others weren't big enough or in the right area. But there was a good pile of possibilities that Jhondie and I could look at later. I grinned at a couple of them. They were owned by people that had been targeted in recent Eyes Only hacks who were now selling to either pay legal fees or to get some running away cash. Plus, they were at fire-sale prices when you considered the surrounding property values. There was a poetic irony at the thought of buying one of those houses.

It was starting to get late, and I had an early meeting with Nikki in the morning, and several more lined up for the day. I called Jhondie to see where and how she was. She was still over at her mother's and promised to be home soon. I have to admit, that I felt a little relieved. She sounded a lot better than she had earlier. And I needed her to come home so we could talk. It was time for a good talk and then she would know that I really was starting to move from shock to happiness over having a baby.

Jhondie

I deliberately stayed out pretty late. I knew Justin had to be up really early so he would be in bed by the time I got home. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him. And I was scared about what he would say to me. I didn't want to start hearing any blame about getting pregnant. It was just going to get worse when I reminded him that I was pretty scientifically advanced, but I didn't reproduce asexually.

When I got home he was already in bed. I thought about getting something to eat, but the thought alone made me sick. I had been sicker at night than in the morning. Anything I ate was just going to make its reappearance pretty soon. And I was tired. Justin hadn't noticed, but I had been sleeping every night for the past couple of weeks. Granted, it was just a couple of hours, but when you're used to going days with zero sleep, it feels weird to get tired every single day.

Earlier, I had called Max to let her know and then called Alicia and asked her if anything I was experiencing was out of the ordinary. Actually, I was more concerned about any weirdness that might occur because I was X-5 and Justin wasn't. If anyone would know what the possibilities were, she might.

"Don't worry about being sick at night," Alicia said. "It's different for every person, and every pregnancy. For two and a half months, I started throwing up around 0745 and it would stop about 0900 hours. For the rest of the day I could eat or do whatever with no problems."

"Good to know," I said, hoping that I could be that regular. Mom had said with Kayla she had been sick constantly for the first trimester, but then again, she had been in the hospital a lot with Katherine during that time. "What about…I mean, do you know if they ever looked at…problems?"

"Potential biological incompatibilities?"

Nice to have it put so clinically. "Pretty much, yeah."

"There was some lab testing done to see if efficiency could be improved," she replied. "It didn't go so well."

I felt like someone had punched me. "What were the results?"

"Nothing bad like that," she said quickly, a thread of concern in her voice. "Just the offspring weren't right for our…Manticore's purposes."

Her voice lowered and I had a feeling Max or Zack was around. They didn't like hearing the "M" word. Alicia didn't discuss it at all with Max, and from what I knew, only talked about it to Zack when he asked her something. They had their opinions on the subject and neither liked the other's conclusions. "The testing was done on mice with computer modeling," Alicia continued. "The offspring sometimes picked up some of the X-5 and 6 traits, but it wasn't consistent or often enough to take to clinical trials."

"He might have your speed and strength, but not visual acuities," she added. "Or he may not have to sleep, but is normal in every other way. It's possible that he would be completely normal and nobody would ever know there was something different. That did happen during the testing, however, in the second generation, some of the normal offspring would have a child that picked up its grandparent's traits."

"But no real problems?"

She knew what I meant. "Occasionally there were…anomalous DNA sequencings. But they were miscarried almost immediately."

"So…"

"The embryo would have been rejected before it had the chance to implant," she said quietly. "You would never have known."

I sagged with relief. "I really wanted to hear that."

She laughed. "You didn't have much to worry about anyway. The anomalous sequences really only occurred when test DNA was used, never with structurally verified DNA like ours."

We talked for a few more minutes, and I have to admit I felt better for calling her. Despite the creepiness of her being fine with the life she lived at Manticore, I liked Alicia. Part of it was the way she could put Zack in his place, but part of it was because she wasn't afraid to tell someone what they needed to know, no matter how unpleasant it was.

But now it was late and I was tired but I didn't want to sleep. I guess I was still trying to be in charge of my body, but it was already doing its own thing and I didn't have say over what was going to happen for the next thirty-six weeks. I knew enough about anatomy to know specifically what was happening and the stages of development. Right now I had a small ball of cells inside of me that was multiplying like crazy. In another three weeks, a heart would be beating. Soon after that, there would be brain functions and growth and finally…birth.

I had to sit down before I had a panic attack. This was too much. I didn't care how natural it was or how much the odds were in my favor of having a normal, healthy baby. It was just too much to take in. And why did Justin have printouts of houses on the desk?

I flipped on a light and looked at them. They were all properties that were up for sale. My heart sank. Justin loved this apartment. There had been another one that I liked more, but this is the one he had to have. He loved the view from the balcony and the way the living room was sunken in a step. He liked not having to worry about maintenance if the fridge broke. I could just imagine him sitting here, thinking about how he was going to have to be responsible for a house now because there was a kid on the way.

I wanted to cry, but I was too tired and had cried too much already today. Instead I went to bed, trying to be quiet so Justin wouldn't wake up. I crawled into bed silently, but he immediately reached out, his arm curling around me so that my back was tucked in against his chest. There's no way to express how much that simple contact meant to me. I was scared and lonely and desperately needing to be close to him.

"This whole fatherhood thing is freaking terrifying," Justin whispered in the dark. "Please be patient with all of the mistakes I already know I'm going to make. I promise I'm going to try real hard to be the best father that I can be."

I rolled over so that we were facing each other. "Who says you get to make all of the mistakes?" I whispered.

He grinned. "I get to use up the mistakes because you're going to be such an awesome mother, you won't be making any." His hand cupped my face, thumb caressing along my cheek. "I really hope he or she has your eyes."

I think I tried to say something, but I couldn't. I just grabbed him and we held each other tightly. Finally, I managed to say, "Are you really okay with this?"

Justin looked at me thoughtfully. "I'm not ready to use the word 'okay'," he replied. "More like 'getting over the panic stage'. Okay is going to take a little more time."

I smiled. It was a start. I needed to know he was willing to try at least. Everything else would come later. "I hope he or she has your hair," I said softly.

"Let's not curse the poor child."

I giggled and thought of a green-eyed, black-haired baby. How beautiful. I snuggled up close to Justin, luxuriating in his warmth and love and acceptance, and drifted easily to sleep.