Well, crap.
I took a boot to the side, albeit a gentle one. I grumbled, looked up. Jaheira stood over me, face enveloped in shadow. I could see the whites of her teeth gleaming, the way her braids hung.
"Wake up, you lazy good for nothing. We have a watch."
Aerie was gone. A smile curved Jaheira's face, and I knew that she was joking. Her hand extended, and helped me up. She sat down in the same spot Aerie had occupied some hours before, and stared at me across the flames. No, she wasn't judging me. Deep green eyes stared, but they concealed more than they shared.
"What is wrong with you?"
"Huh?"
"What is wrong with you? I have never seen such indecision, such apathy from you in our travels."
I felt a sudden urge to confide in her. She was my most trusted companion, after all. Who had been by my side longer? She leaned forwards, armored body taut.
"I don't know. Jaheira, I feel aimless. I feel tired. I want to settle down."
She laughed. She outright laughed. She was surprised, I guess. This was coming from the man -ha, not even a man, her charge- who had pushed her limits each day for more than a year.
"Well, I never thought I'd see the day you got some common sense in you."
"What?"
"Common sense. You were always the first to help a cause, to go adventuring, to run to a friend's aid. You deserve a time to rest, and I am glad you are willing to take it should it arise."
"But I don't have a time, Jaheira. I don't. I just keep getting dragged along."
"So you do, so you do. But what of it? Do you have any choice in the matter?"
"No..."
"Exactly. So don't worry about what you can't change. Worry about what you can."
Her eyes sparkled. Hell, I was starting to cheer up a little. She had a grin on her face. Not quite a grin, a smile. A rough, shaky kind of smile.
"You know for sure that you'll be dragged along where your blood wills. Think about it, though. Despite all of this, all your trials, all your tests, your friends have stood by you, and you by them. You had every opportunity to leave us behind, if you wanted to, try to vanish. Almost everyone you know has a debt of blood to you, and I know in my heart that you would never let me...us... down."
"But..."
"No 'buts'! You are the most loyal man I have ever met. Do you remember when Bohdi attacked us?"
Lots of remembering tonight. Yes, I remembered. We were raiding the crypts, when her minions ambushed us. Keldorn, Minsc, Jaheria, Viconia and I managed to fight off our attackers, but Aerie got dragged away. I chased her down, killed Bohdi, managed to kill Aerie. But then what? I could have buried her, I guess. But no. Clinging to that last bit of hope, I spent a week chasing the slim chance that she could be brought back from death.
"I have never seen such loyalty as in you. Without a second thought, you freed me from Irenicus's prison. You helped me in my struggle with the Harpers. There was no indecision then- I called, and you stepped forwards without hesitation. Even when I pushed you away, you still came to my side."
Her words were barked, harsh, loud.
"So?"
"We avenged Khalid together."
"What does any of this have to do with the matter at hand?"
"You really are an idiot, sometimes. No matter what, I will be at your side, wherever you go and whatever you do. I always have been, and you know it. We have gone too far for me to ever leave your company."
A single tear walked down the side of her face, tracing the line of an old scar. I remembered how she got it...a narrow miss from an ogrillion outside of Beregost.
"As long as I have breath in my body, I swear that I will never leave your side."
"Jaheira..."
"No. I refuse. I refuse to fail you like I did Kha..."
"Shh, Jaheira. We both know you didn't fail him."
"No...no, I didn't, did I? But that doesn't matter now. What matters is you. I have followed you into the abyss, I have fought by your side too long to let you go ever again. I love you, and I know that you return those feelings."
Such loyalty. Such unquestioning loyalty. I tried to speak, feelings boiling around inside of me. What of Aerie? What of the voyage to see Ellisime? She held up a hand, stopping the flow of words from my mouth. Not quite words, it was more of an incoherent babble.
"I know you well enough to know how you feel. Perhaps I know better than you know yourself. I know you're confused, I know you care, and I know you're tired. I know that everyone is trying to help you along. I know that I can do that best."
She sure did know a lot. I believed her, though. The flames were dying down between us, and her face was in shadow again. The light reflected her eyes, her cheekbones, her chin.
"Come here, hold my hand. We can remember old times, watch the fire go out. We will keep the others safe, as it always has been. You protected me, and I will protect you now. You have me to the death."
She was right. She DID know me better than I knew myself, and she did know how to make me feel better. I didn't think about the year and a half I spent by her side, the battles we fought, the way we had healed each other time and again. I just thought that my companion wanted me by her side. So I circled around, opened my hand, and let her lean against me. I felt so grateful for that. Through the night, she cracked jokes and told stories.
As tired as I was, when dawn broke I felt strong enough for another day's journey.