Sex!
Ford walked up to Arthur.
"Guess what," he said.
"What?"
"I love you passionately."
"You read my mind," said Arthur. They went off somewhere and did something romantic.
All this was happening on a vid-screen because Ford had plugged in some improbabilities that he liked into the computer and it had churned out this vid. Arthur had been talked into watching it although he now wished he'd stayed in bed.
Arthur watched the screen in horror.
"Wha…what are you…"
"Sim-Ford," said Ford, coming to the couch with a bowl of freshly popped popcorn.
"What's Sim-Ford doing?"
"I obviously can't say."
"Why not?"
"It's physically impossible."
"How do you know?"
"I've tried."
"Ah," said Arthur, deciding not to question further.
"Hey guys," said Zaphod, sitting down, "This is really out there. When did you two do this?"
"I didn't!" Arthur said anxiously, "It was Sim-Arthur! And Sim-Ford!"
"What'd Sim-Me just say?" said Ford.
"Something about being together forever," said Zaphod.
"What, while doing THAT?" said Arthur, disgusted.
"Yeah," said Ford, cramming popcorn into his mouth. He noticed the next bit and coughed.
"Even I wouldn't do that," he said after he stopped choking. Arthur threw up gently.
Clap came in.
"Whoa," she said, "This is… You two are…"
Clap left.
"You better not be stealing my boyfriend, Arthur," yelled Andema.
"Sim-Arthur!" said Arthur frantically.
THE END
I leave it up to you to decide whether I'm making fun of Ford/Arthur slashers or not. Actually, I have a lifty explanation at my LJ somewhere.
So…I took a while updating, and I'm back with a bunch of innuendoes. If you look closely, I never actually put in anything offensive. I just insinuated it.
(So if my dad's reading this, no, I am not writing smut now!)
Now for some insinuated question answering! And comments if I feel like it!
Grim Reaper: Well, I like my made-ups. But this story has less made-ups than usual, see? And, er…well, I have slight difficulty with Trillian. I thrive on randomness and…Trillian is so sensible.
Minor God: Wow. That last review was extremely flattering. I think I giggled when I read it first.
Sarah The Paranoid Android: Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear.