A/N: Props to BurningtheMidnightOil, for her help with this project, the last two chapters in particular. More action in the Love Rhombus of Doom.
Well, crap.
I swirled the contents of the small clay glass. The stuff inside was absolute gutrot, this vile sort of homemade whiskey. Still, helped the nerves. We were about three hours out of Suldanessellar by Jaheira's best guess, in a place called 'Ya'trim's Freehold'. What a freehold actually is, I have no clue. But, in the middle of this giant forest of elves, there's a gnome. A gnome running a small, crappy inn he insists on calling a freehold. It's more than an inn, I guess. It sells all kinds of stuff -most of which we didn't need, anyways- as well as has a bar. A very poor quality one. Hell, our group filled the place to capacity. We got the impression that they didn't get customers often, and that's the way they liked it.
The gnome handed another shot of his moonshine to Minsc, grumbling. He seemed happy enough, taking shot after shot with little ill effect. Viconia's nose curled back at this.
"Addled one...how can you put that filth into your body?"
The innkeep shot her a glare. Minsc turned unsteadily towards her, looking a little…peaked.
"What? These are fine...beverages! Yes!"
There was a thump as Minsc slumped over, head bouncing off the bar. Well, I think he had enough. I sighed, sipped a little more at my own cup. Aerie rushed over, poking at her protector. He seemed fine, aside from the unconsciousness. Boo squeaked disconsolately.
"Oy! Three gold in damages! His head left a dent in me bar!"
Crap. Well, Jaheira was shaking her head, because now we had to haul Minsc's large, armored ass up to the room. Imoen and I helped, while Viconia...did not. We got him into bed, and went back down to the sunlit main floor. The drab little inn was, in fact, a hollowed out sequoia. It was kind of nice, minus the fact that the gnomes running it were pretty dour. I wondered why they got into the business in the first place.
It was mid-afternoon. Minsc wasn't going anywhere, so neither were we. Seemed kind of a waste, all things considered. We were pretty close to Suldanessellar. Well, who was going to carry him? Four girls and a noodle-armed choirboy? Damned if we weren't all chopped to hell, too. At any rate, we weren't going anywhere.
"So, we aren't going to carry the addled one?"
"No, Viconia."
"What a waste. We have hours of daylight left. You have let the weakness of your associates drag you down again, I see."
"Shut...shut...shut UP! Spew your venom elsewhere, you-you-you BITCH!"
Aerie was screaming. This was unusual, to say the least. I took a step back.
"Bitch?" Viconia replied coldly. "You DARE call your superior, the one who holds the affections of your beloved a BITCH?"
Aerie was more than smoldering. Imoen got between the two of them, but not before Jaheira had her say. I wasn't getting into the middle of it- best way to get bit is to get between two fighting dogs, Hull always said.
"It does female dogs everywhere great injustice to be associated with the likes of you, Viconia."
And then, the fighting. Imoen managed to hold Aerie at bay as she virtually frothed at the mouth. I guess she really did take offense to Viconia's mockery. I made a mental note to talk to her about it later as I stood. Jaheira was launching herself across tables to have round two with Viconia. I managed to tackle her sideways midway between her and her quarry. I ran, launching myself from an unsteady stool and catching her in midair. We landed with a thump. She cocked back a fist, ready give me one. I gave her an idiotic grin, and relaxed my hold on her a little, scooted up her body. A bar brawl turned into an impromptu hug. The battle raged on above us.
"Hey Jaheira."
"Hello there," she managed to gasp. I had knocked the wind out of her. She didn't seem to care, she put her arms around my shoulders. I laid my head down on her stomach, and tried to relax. Catfights were getting to be an all-too-common occurrence.
"Hey, remember the Helm and Cloak?"
"Yes. Big fight there."
She was gasping, and I regretted hitting her so hard. The sounds of Imoen, Viconia and Aerie yelling at one another were still quite loud. I stared at those deep green eyes of hers.
"I think that fighting the Maulers is looking more and more like a good time."
Yeah, that had been my first balls-out barfight. Knives, swords, stools, everything. The Helm and Cloak is a great place, don't get me wrong. But we had to pay for damages and the removal of six bodies, which hit us hard. Naturally, the Flaming Fist weren't terribly pleased about that either. However, the constant brawling over me was getting to the point that almost being beat to death with a stool was looking plenty fine at this point. Cracked two gods-damned ribs that night.
Jaheira ran her hand through my hair. I pulled myself a little closer, trying to hear her heartbeat over breaking pottery. One mug skidded, exploded to our left.
"Think we should intervene, dearest?"
"Not yet, Jaheira. Give it a moment."
Not thirty seconds later, Imoen was launched over a table, rolled right up to us. She stared at us, dazed but not quite confused. I sighed, got up, ducked a flying plate, and waded in.