Well crap.

Viconia was gone. I was distressed. Jaheira and Aerie, not so much. Minsc was hung over, but Imoen was also concerned. She had left a note with the barkeep before she left. Of course, as we poured over it, we realized that while Viconia could speak Common, she could not write it. The note was in drow.

"I-I-I think we should just go. Maybe we can catch up to her?" Aerie stuttered quietly to my left. Though clearly pleased at the drow's parting, she saw how much it affected me.

"Moron! You're holding it upside down!"

"Jaheira, I'm almost sure it's right side up."

"Can you read drow?"

"Can YOU?"

Jaheira was just irritated. She didn't like chasing after Viconia. I didn't much like it either, but you stick by your friends. Anyone who you trust enough to fight beside is like a brother or a sister- you look out for them as best you can. Anyways, she stuck by me, I owed her as much. They squabbled behind my back. Aerie complained and dragged her feet. Jaheira told her to shut up and tried to read the note. My head throbbed. Minsc did his best to keep things calm, but he was too hung over to be properly cheery. Imoen fell into stride beside me.

"Hey big bro."

"Hey."

"Ever going to do something about those two? And the other one?"

"What do you mean?"

"All they ever do is fight. They fight over YOU, because you won't make a decision."

"I don't think any of them will take 'no' for an answer, much less all of them."

"Have you tried?"

"They're not making this easy, Imoen."

"Yeah, I know. I...I'm just getting sick of it."

"I hear ya. I'm getting pretty sick of it too. MINSC!"

"Yeeeeeeeees?"

"Minsc, you're our resident ranger. Pick up her trail?"

"No, I have not. Neither has Boo. His whiskers dance so, yet they find nothing."

"Great. Just great."

Morninglord, give me strength, I told myself. I knew deep down inside that I should have done this alone. I shifted the weight of my shield. The Tethyrian forest was quite beautiful, but I was in no mood to enjoy it. Pissed off women, missing party members, appointments with elven royalty...yeah. Not fun.

"Shh!" Minsc called out. Everyone turned to face him, armor creaking. He held his hamster aloft, staring at it intently.

"Boo hears something."

I don't know how he could tell if Boo heard things, or how 'his miniature giant space hamster' imparted wisdom on him. But, none the less, we all awaited his word. Minsc pointed off the beaten path after a moment.

"There! Thataway!"

We started off in that direction, really having little better to do. Soon, we heard it. Curses. Heavily accented curses. Drow.

Viconia.

I dashed towards them, blood thundering in my ears. I heard the others behind me as I leapt between two trees, managed to stumble but somehow kept going. I arrived to find Viconia on the wrong side of a wraith spider. Two of its legs were badly mangled. It had her pinned against the tree, and she held back its fangs with her shield. Her mace-hand was pressed up against the redwood by the spider's hairy bulk.

Let me tell you: I hate undead, they're an abomination. I hate spiders, too. But undead spiders? They're not my worst nightmare, they're my EVERY nightmare. I loathe them. I recoiled an instant. Vivid memories of Bohdi's tomb, the enormous spider's nest that was my worst adventure since the sewers of Baldur's Gate. And then, I started beating the damn thing to death.

It was messy. I didn't stop clubbing the ugly bastard until I was knee-deep in gunk. It was ugly, brownish-green stuff full of fur. When I looked up, everyone was staring at me, wide-eyed. I hefted my flail, looked around. Dead silence.

"I don't like spiders."

"This much is clear, abbil. I apologize for running off like this...but it seems I am in your debt."

"Again," I heard Jaheira whisper. The two glared at one another. I was panting, adrenaline rushing through my veins.

"Ugh. You smell," Aerie exclaimed, waving a dainty hand in front of her nose.

I sniffled, sucking a tablespoon of goo up my left nostril. The foulness of it made me gag. Viconia stared at her boots, said nothing.

"Lathander. I need to bathe."

"Yeah. Hell, I'll even clean your armor!" Imoen exclaimed, hand pressed across her face.

"We can do it in Suldanessellar. Just wipe this crap off, we'll be clean in an hour."

I ragged myself as clean as I could, and we started off. We got to the city half a day later, sun high in the sky as a bunch of extremely clean elves opened the gates for us. They looked down at us, frowning under light helmets. I recognized one from Elhan's camp. He was not pleased to see me. I passed it off to the smell and look of a bunch of grimy, hardbitten adventurers. Then, I heard it.

"Bhaalspawn."

The word, muttered like a curse, from under his breath. Great, I told myself, I see it's going over just great here.

Ellesime held a grand ceremony for us. Her courtiers and nobles - hell, everyone - made an epic production of ignoring our appearance and stench. Adventuring isn't about smelling like roses. It's a job, an ugly, dangerous job, that someone has to do. I, unfortunately, have no choice in the matter. I would have been happier doing...well, like I said, I didn't have much choice in the matter. I could have joined the congregation at Beregost, maybe even set up a temple in Baldur's Gate.

The ceremony was long and wordy. In the end, the queen asked us to kneel, and presented me with an Amulet of the Seldarine. Shiny. We stood, the congregation rather quickly fled, and Ellesime gestured for us to follow.

"The people...they do not enjoy the thought of a Bhaalspawn among us."

"Yes, Queen."

"They hear rumors of war to the south of us."

"Yes, Queen."

"So, Dermin asked me to bring you before the forest spirits with all due haste. Here we are. I must depart. Rilifane guide your path on your journeys, hero."

"Thank you, Queen."

So, there we were, in the middle of a forest, surrounded by creepy stone heads. Everyone looked around, completely silent. No bickering, no nothing. They felt a presence in the woods. And that's when the storm clouds moved in, and the heads started talking.