Well, crap.

I'm getting real tired of romantic misadventures, y'know?

I wonder if Drizzt or Elminster ever had these kinds of problems. I really don't think they did, though. I am a horrifically unique snowflake in the adventuring profession, it appears. At any rate, I stumbled into my room as the floor shook beneath another catapult blow to the city. I grasped my towel tightly as I dripped all over the place, barely holding on. Closing the door behind me and bolting it, I proceeded to start drying myself.

I didn't know what to do, honestly. Aerie, that poor girl, was so in love with she was willing to give everything up to make me happy. What was I supposed to do? Then there was Jaheira, who seemed to know just how to make everything better. Viconia and her lustings were lost in the background, but every now and then she'd come around in my mind. And pants.

Damn exhausted and still sorta damp, I tossed my towel into a corner. It was completely dark out, the only light coming from fires burning outside. My bed was a whitish blob in the indigo darkness, so I aimed my naked body for it and just flopped onto the thing...and onto something hard.

Something hard that began protesting.

"By Silvanus, man!"

"The hell?"

Jaheira untangled herself from me. She had been dozing under the sheets. In my bed. She was more surprised than angry, it seemed.

"Don't you have your own room?"

"Yes. But I wanted to be here -with you- tonight. Should I go?"

I floundered. One voice in my head instructed me to say 'damn yeah' and go to sleep. The other said 'not so fast'. I looked at her, trying to decide. She had undone her braids, and long brown hair cascaded onto the pillows. Bright green eyes gleamed in the low light. She stared at me, her face clearly displaying a great deal of concern for me. Unconsciously it seemed that our hands found each other.

"Naw, no. Stay."

She smiled a sad, slow smile. I let her reel my scarred body in under her arm. We lay there, bodies close, for a long time, saying nothing. Nothing really needed to be said, I suppose. She loved me. I loved her. Gradually, I closed my eyes, enjoyed the feeling of our skin-on-skin contact.

She had be waiting for me naked. Predictable.

Back in the good old days, when life was simple...well, simpler at any rate...everyone had gotten used to the concept that our profession left cleanliness close to the bottom of any number of priorities. We got used to each other's smells, even stopped noticing them at points. Hers seemed to radiate from the bed- not the smell of Jaheira who hasn't washed, just Jaheira. Just about every memory I have has her there. She visited Gorion a few times in my youth. She guided me along from the beginning. She was an integral part of my life. Where would I be without her? It struck me that I wouldn't be anywhere without her. I didn't want to be anywhere without her.

I gave her hand a quick squeeze.

"Mmmmph?"

"Nothing, Jaheira. You mean a lot to me, that's all."

She kissed my shoulder, held me tight.

"Thank you."

We lay there for a long time, just holding one anyone. We listened to the odd smash of the catapult (giants have to sleep too, you know) and the distant chords of the music from downstairs. I thought a lot, and she just watched me.

"Jaheira, what happens after this?"

"What? After we save Saradush?"

"No...I mean, what happens after I stop adventuring?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...I'm tired, Jaheira. I'm tired of being dragged around by the nose from one place to the next. I like helping people, but what happens after this? Practically all I know is the road and the sword. Righteous justice. I can't exactly settle down in Beregost and become a smithy, can I?"

"No, Taerom would drive you out of business."

"Smartass. You know what I mean. After everything I've seen and done, I'd have a hell of a time settling down. I don't know if I can. Even if I did, how would I make my way in the world? Between killing things, I really haven't had much other training. I guess I could join a temple, but with the spiritual guidance, I am...not so good."

"You say that like you believe it."

"Sometimes you need more advice than BHAALSPAWN SMASH!"

"This is true. But you play down your talents. It won't be easy dear, but somehow we'll do it."

I smiled, and her bright green eyes lit up.

"Oh? Where do you see us once this is done?"

"Oh, on the Sword Coast somewhere, I guess. I don't think we'll ever stop travelling, but when we do, it'll be on the Coast. Just north of Candlekeep, maybe. Near that lake south of Beregost, maybe?"

I could see it...us building the house together, all our friends present. Everyone pitching in as the walls went up. My big family.

And then the pounding on the wall started.

"Keep it down in there, druid! Some of us are trying to-" he was cut off by angry whispers. I looked at Jaheira. She looked at me. I grumbled, got my towel, and opened the door. I don't know what I was thinking. Checking to make sure everything was okay, I guess. Bad, bad idea.

I knocked on Sarevok's door, and a barely-covered Viconia answered.

"Yes, jaluk?"

A grumbling, equally naked Sarevok leaned in over her shoulder. I took several horrified steps backwards before abandoning the towel and running back into my room. Jaheira looked worried.

"What's wrong? What's going on? Is everything..."

"They're making...evil...brother..."

I shuddered.

"Well, Viconia is sleeping with my brother. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll claw my eyes out now."