Vesting the Clergy

"No, really, you have to tell me about your past," said Ford. Andmea had run out of sci-fi pasts to steal.

"Why do you want to know anyway?" she said instead.

"Because I have the right to know."

"Not actually."

"Hmm. This is very cumbersome," said Ford, waving around a cucumber.

"I don't think that's the proper application of the word," said Andema slowly.

"Okay, bye everyone," said Malea loudly, "I'm off to visit The Beatles."

"You know, I don't think you are," said Andema, "you've been saying that for the last half hour."

"Well, now I am then," said Malea, and left.

"I'm sick and tired of being ignored," said Zaphod, "You're all a bunch of…"

"That joke is getting old," said Arthur.

"No-one asked you," said Zaphod, "I wanted to go on that other thing you went on but I didn't."

"Let's go to a bar, then," said Ford.

"Great!" said Zaphod.

"If you do, I'm not coming," said Andema, "I know what you're like when you're drunk."

"What?" said Ford, "Aren't you going to be paranoid and stop me from hanging out with other girls?"

"I've decided that I don't care about that anymore," said Andema, "I see no reason to be clingy. I can always go find a new boyfriend in that portal we found in the laundry room."

"So THAT'S why all my socks disappeared," said Zaphod.

"The new boyfriend wouldn't be as good as me," said Ford, "Clap's relationship with Jack Sparrow only lasted a week."

"I don't blame him," said Arthur quietly, leaning back on his crutches. Clap had shot him in the leg. Again.

"These stories never go anywhere," said Trillian, who was there randomly, a practice she had become adept at.

"Hey, what about the bar!" said Zaphod.

THE END ("No, wait! Argh!")

Guys, I have school and homework and karate and stuff, and on top of that, I'm a procrastinator and I hate typing. So there.

Oh, and by the way, I am truly sorry for this story. The next one is way better. Really. This one only really makes sense if you read the Unprinted Story on my Livejournal, which is unprinted because I can't fanfiction about The Beatles until they all die off.

And holy crap, man. You know how many reviews I've had in my other stories, possibly in total? 10! Dude, you guys are the best. Maybe, if I write for long enough, I'll start my own cult. Woo!

Fellowship of the Band Geeks: I've discovered something. I can never repeat myself. And currently, I have writer's block. Well, sort of, anyways. I mean, stories will continue to "magically" appear. Also, you win. You read Penny/Clap's stuff! Go you! Maybe she'll get out of her writer's block eventually too!

Jimmy the Gothic Egg: Awww. 'hugs back'

Lily Knotwise: If my memory does not deceive me, it was called Fragments FROM A Diseased Mind, and it took me until whenever my last chapter came out to realise that.

nasamuffin: TOAST POKE!

BeatlesLover: Yeah! In people suck! Note-if someone here is "in", please disregard this. I love you. Don't stop reviewing me. Nevertheless, I listen to a lot of different music, and try to be open to everything, although I must admit that I am a little biased against heavy metal and rap… Yeah. So…Right! So sorry about the confusion involved in me using the word lifty. It was invented by my friend Penny and I always forget that not everyone has read her story. So, here's the definition Penny includes in her story

The origin of the word 'lifty' comes from oven mitts, the word lifty meaning 'really cool and together guy' (the more literal translation being 'has a warm chicken and/or head'). For example, in a sentence, you the word would be used like so: Do you sass that hoopy frood, Ford Prefect? That guy is really lifty and always knows where his towel is and his oven mitt too.

There. Now, read the story. Read it! Graham Chapman! Go!

Oh wait. There's more stuff I need to explain. Okay. Reginald Stubbins first appearance was in Chapter 12: Arthur Receives a Death Sentence. He ran through at the end, thus spawning a very long private joke with my friends. There you go. Also, the purpose isn't for you to understand them. At least…I didn't think it was.

Beth: Yay! New fan! Well, when you get here, hi. Or wait, are you a fan, or just sympathetic to my insane state? No matter.

Wtf…: LOL OMG! Thanks.

Guardian Demon: Yes! I know I'd be exploding in fangirlish glee if I found one of my favourite characters in a fic unexpectedly. Well, more characters cameo eventually, I think. And thank you. I like to know I'm in character, because it makes me feel special. Much more than the time I wrote this story and then my dad said it wasn't good enough yet. Which made me sad, but I'm trying to get into my school's literary magazine, so, neh. And dude, I'm using you as my LiveJournal. Not cool. Little middly words don't matter. Notice, it took me until now to, er, notice.

Minor God: You sound cool. I want to totally be your friend. Except that I don't, nor never expect, to end up in England, although I desperately want to. Ah well. Cute poems. Although, my version of Arthur probably just would have ended up panicking at the end, then pressing the Improbability Drive button.

MaidM: Well, you WERE the first made-up character to feature, so it's only natural you get the first onscreen kiss.

Nine of Swords: I'm accurate! Huzzah!

Crry : Thanks, but what do you mean by "HIGH"?

I can write songs! Maybe I should write a story that's a song!