A/N: Thanks so much for reviewing everyone! It really means a lot to me! Okay, not too much to say here, sorry my update is a little later than usual, but I try not to be late on a regular basis, so please bear with me!

Special notes: Umm, StuDMuffiN, you already said that...o.O'

Reminder-... /-/-/-/memory;... +-+-+-+past, not a memory;... /-/-+memory and past;... #(anything after)special pov

Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshoumaru, Rin, InuTaisho, Izayoi, Inuyasha, or any other characters that Rumiko Takahashi created. I do however own Juzume, but as I am making no money from this, I really don't care if anybody else chooses to use her as a character in their own story or not. I also do not own any of the songs that are referenced as titles, though I do own the little "song" that Juzume sings near the end of this chapter, which again I don't care if you use it or not. So, having said that, I won't sue you, so don't you go off and decide to sue me. Got it? Good.

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Chapter 7-Forsaken (vocals by Disturbed lead singer David Draiman, music by Korn)

...clouded by memories of the past...

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Sesshoumaru awoke with a start, looking around sharply as he grasped the hilt of his sword. He realized that he was in a forest, and his head hurt, and he felt as if he were drowsy from a restless sleep. He shook his head violently to clear away the lightheadedness, trying to stifle his thoughts. He knew why he had been asleep, he knew why he had been here, in this forest, curled up at the roots of an ancient tree...but he didn't want to think about it. He wanted to focus on whatever was coming closer to him, wanted to concentrate on something other than his own thoughts for once.

"Lord Sesshoumaru? Lord Sesshoumaru!" a faint cry was heard in the distance. Sesshoumaru looked off to the side, then slowly stood up and sheathed his sword as he began walking. He brushed the dust and dirt off his outfit, straightened a few messy strands of hair, and prepared to act like everything was completely normal.

"There he is, Ah-Un!" Rin cried happily. The dragon swooped down and landed about a hundred feet in front of Sesshoumaru, and Rin hopped off and ran over to him.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, you're alright! I was worried," Rin said.

"Worried?" Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow questioningly. If he had judged the time correctly by the position of the sun, it had been about midday when he left. The sun had barely begun to move towards the horizon, which should mean that it had only been a few hours.

"Yeah, you were gone for so long, Lord Sesshoumaru..." Rin nodded, a tiny frown on her face.

"How long was I gone, Rin?" Sesshoumaru asked suspiciously, the hairs on the back of his neck rising. If she actually said he was gone for a long time, then it must have been-she rarely exaggerated about such things.

"A little over three days," Rin said. Then, looking up at him hesitantly, "Don't you remember how long you've been gone, Lord Sesshoumaru?" she asked.

Sesshoumaru blinked as he looked down at her, and just when Rin thought he was going to ignore her question, he slowly shook his head.

"I don't remember anything," he said evenly.

"Do you feel alright?" Rin asked worriedly, her frown deepening.

"I feel fine," Sesshoumaru said with a nod...and suddenly, he felt dizzy. He swayed almost imperceptibly, closing his eyes tightly to try and stave off the sensation of being caught in a tornado...swirling and twirling around and around...

"Lord Sesshoumaru?" Rin looked at him worriedly as he started shaking ever so slightly-so very slightly that Rin wondered if maybe she wasn't just overreacting...but no, he really was shaking all over...

Sesshoumaru forced himself to walk over to Ah-Un, his steps slow and unsteady as he made his way over. His feet wanted to get tangled up amongst themselves, and even though he wasn't quite that clumsy, he still zigged and zagged a bit. He finally made it over to the dragon, gratefully clutching the reins and swinging himself up onto the creature's back. Rin came over a bit uncertainly, looking up at Sesshoumaru with obvious concern.

"Come on, Rin," Sesshoumaru said shortly. Rin nodded and climbed on as Sesshoumaru made room for her, allowing her to seat herself in front. He took the reins in one hand and looped his other arm about the girl's waist loosely, and Ah-Un took off.

"Master Jaken, we found him!" Rin greeted cheerfully as they landed. She jumped off and ran over to the imp, gleefully sweeping him around in a little dance for a few seconds.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, what took you so long?" Jaken asked. He received a cool, steady, and very deathly glare as his only response, and the imp proceeded to beg forgiveness for his manners in the usual way...and was ignored in the usual way.

Sesshoumaru sighed lightly and walked over to the nearest sizable tree, leaning against it heavily and closing his eyes. He tried not to show it, but he knew that he was exhausted. The painful memories that he had hidden for so long were surfacing, and he was reliving each and every one of them as if he were actually there again. The overwhelming reality of it all was taking its toll on him.

Maybe I'm just hallucinating...perhaps I have a fever or something, and this will go away in a short while-weren't the people of the last village starting to get sick? Maybe it was contagious...

"You are incapable of catching such a weak disease from any mortals," a voice whispered to him softly. "And you don't have a fever. As to whether or not you're hallucinating...well, I suppose you could call it that, if you wanted to. After all, it isn't actually happening again-you're just seeing it as if it were."

Sesshoumaru stiffened and inhaled sharply at the voice, still unnerved by the sound. He listened carefully, but there was no reaction from Rin or Jaken. They apparently couldn't hear the voice.

"No, you're the only one who can hear me," the voice said. "I'm not part of thier minds, after all-just yours."

Sesshoumaru growled slightly at that, wishing it would simply go away and lend him some peace.

"I've already had quite enough of your attempts to throw me into a guilt trip-why don't you bother somebody else for a change? I've got better things to worry about," Sesshoumaru snarled, forgetting that there was anybody else around. Rin and Jaken stopped what they were doing to look at him, and even Ah-Un roused his heads and blinked. Sesshoumaru cursed inside his head for being so careless, but he offered no explanation. It just wasn't his way.

Unfortunately for him, Rin was insatiably curious, and she decided to wonder what it was about.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, who are you talking to?" she asked.

"The voice that keeps whispering to me," Sesshoumaru replied calmly-forgetting, of course, just how insane that sounded until after he actually said it. Great, that sounds perfectly normal, Sesshoumaru...'the voice'...that's just freakin' wonderful..."No, I'm not crazy, I just hear voices, that's all. Nothing wrong with my head."

"The...voice...that keeps whispering to you?" Rin gave him a funny look, almost as if she were unsure whether to be worried or just creeped out. She feared for his sanity.

Sesshoumaru wasn't exactly sure whether that was supposed to be a question or a statement, so he chose to remain silent, cursing yet again inside his head for being so forgetful lately. Why did I even say anything?

"Uh, Lord Sesshoumaru, are you...sure you're okay?" Rin asked hesitantly, frowning in concern.

"Yes, Rin, I'm fine," Sesshoumaru sighed. "I suppose I just need some sleep."

"Well, alright," she said. Her tone clearly stated that she wasn't buying it, but she didn't say so. Sesshoumaru sank to the ground slowly, resting back against the tree and trying to go to sleep.

Had he known that he was only to relive his former life once more, he would have stayed awake.

As he quietly slipped into unconsciousness, he was clouded by memories of the past...

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Juzume perched herself carefully on the edge of Sesshoumaru's bed, waiting for him to return. It had been a while now; he usually didn't stay away for so long. Then again, he wasn't usually fighting so fiercely with his father, and never for such a long duration, so it really wasn't unexpected.

After about an hour, Sesshoumaru wearily stumbled into his room, not even bothering to ask why Juzume was there. Since the beginning of this ordeal, he had never once wondered why or when or how she ever managed to know which room he was going to be in, or when he was going to be back, or where he had been. All he ever cared was that she knew how to comfort him, and he was desperately in need of it-though he never would have admitted it to anyone else, never would have allowed another to approach him about it, would even deny the efforts of somebody else.

"Sesshoumaru-kun, you are hurt," Juzume whispered softly.

"Hurt?" Sesshoumaru looked himself over briefly before turning to her. "I haven't got a scratch or bruise on me. I'm not hurt," he said.

"I do not mean a physical pain, my young prince," she said quietly. "Your soul is aching within you. What has made such wounds grow in your heart? You were not so darkened this morning."

"You always did know what I was feeling," Sesshoumaru sighed and went over to sit next to her, allowing her to start stroking his hair. It did little to soothe him, however; his most recent fight with his father had bothered him far too much to give him any peace within the small caresses she administered.

"Father says that he wishes to have a child with Izayoi. She apparently agreed to it," Sesshoumaru finally spoke.

"And you do not wish for them to have this child?" Juzume asked sympathetically.

"Juzume...it's not just that, really," Sesshoumaru tried to express his feelings. It was getting more difficult for him to talk to anyone lately-even her. "I don't mind having a little brother or sister, but...the child of a human and a demon would be a halfbreed. The demons of the court and of this castle would never treat him with respect. He would never be accepted-they would only hate him, and for that matter, they would hate Father for bringing him into this world. They might even rise up against him. I tried to tell him, but he just won't listen to me-he refused to even let me say anything. Every time I tried, he would simply cut me off and tell me that I wasn't going to change his mind. And we got into a fight over it-he threw me clear across the room this time. He waited just long enough to see me stand up, then he asked me if he'd broken anything. When I said he hadn't, he just turned and walked away. He left, Mother...he just...left," the young demon finished.

"What do you plan on doing now, Sesshoumaru?" Juzume asked quietly.

"What can I do?" he scoffed. "Father won't even listen to me anymore. And from what I can tell, he rarely listens to you. Izayoi would take his side any day of the year-who else is there? Juzume, I think that if I do anything else, he'll simply disown me," the demon said woefully, leaning against her for the small comfort she could give. Juzume gently traced her fingers through his hair, hoping that everything would turn out.

"Listen, Sesshoumaru-maybe he'll change his mind once he has this child. He will see what trouble he has wrought, and then perhaps he will decide that it's more of a hassle than it's worth."

"I think he would disown me before he would give up that human of his," Sesshoumaru scoffed weakly. "He's more attached to her-if anybody says anything, he's just going to think that I turned them against him. I can't help but think that he doesn't even care about me anymore," Sesshoumaru said quietly.

"No, no, child, he wouldn't do that," Juzume cooed gently. "He may be stubborn at times-well, most of the time-and he may not see your point, but he wouldn't disown you. You're his son, Sesshoumaru."

"And I suppose that fathers and sons regularly throw each other across rooms and claw each other up, always fighting like crazed animals that are driven by a deranged bloodlust-I suppose that most fathers would choose to ignore thier sons when they need answers the most. I asked him why, Juzume-I asked him if he would tell me why he was doing this. I thought there might be something about it that I just wasn't understanding, something that I just didn't get. I thought that maybe he could tell me, help me see what he meant. You know what he did? He asked me why I cared. And that's what hurt, Juzume-I would rather have him beat me into a senseless bloody mess than have to ask why I cared. I'm his son, Juzume-I care because he's my father. I shouldn't have any other reasons, should I? Isn't that enough?" he asked, turning to look at her questioningly.

"Of course it is," Juzume soothed. "It's more than enough. Sesshoumaru, don't ever doubt yourself. Your father has fallen prey to a delusion, and once he realizes that he has made a mistake, then all will be right again. Until then, you cannot hope to change his ways. He is stubborn in his patterns-more so than the very sky which constantly hangs above us. But in time, the sky too changes, allowing stars to shine in the darkness and clouds to cover the light. He too will see the errors of his ways, and when all has come to pass, he will realize that you were only trying to help, and that he should have never been so harsh."

"I hope so," Sesshoumaru said heavily, closing his eyes against the pain of his emotions. "Mother...you know that one song that you always used to sing when I had nightmares?"

"Of course," she smiled softly, beginning to sing her quiet melody in the darkening room.

"Maa maa, ko shounen, nakanaide kudasai...genki da ima kodomo, onegai dame shinpai-Jibun akari istu anata..."

And though her words and her tone was soothing, and though her song was as sweet as ever, her mind cursed angrily at the demon who had brought such pain to the young child in her arms. She cursed at InuTaisho for doing this to his son, she cursed at him for making Sesshoumaru suffer, for making the younger demon feel the agony and loneliness that came after each of the all-too-frequent fights, for making him feel so forsaken...

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