A/N: Not much to say here, please read and reveiw! Thank you to al of my loyal readers, and thanks especially to my loyal reviewers! You all make me so happy!

Reminder-... /-/-/-/memory;... +-+-+-+past, not a memory;... /-/-+memory and past;... #(anything after)special pov

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, InuTaisho, Jaken, Rin, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, Kagome, Kikyou, Naraku, Shippou, Kohaku, Hachi, Kanna, Kagura, Myouga, Izayoi, Kouga, Royoucan, Ginta, Hakkakku, the saimyoushou, the shinidama, Juromaru, Kageromaru, Jinenji, Goshinki, Yura, Hora, Rura, Menomaru, Kaguya...do I have to list every single character? Wait, I don't? Oh, well then I'll just say I don't own the Inuyasha characters. I also do not own the songs. Don't sue me!

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Chapter 10-Imaginary (Evanescence)

I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly away...

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#-Jaken/Sesshoumaru third-person POV

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Sesshoumaru stood at the crest of a tall cliff, looking out at the lands that lay before him. Jaken stood a few feet behind in mild confusion, glancing up at his Lord a bit strangely.

"Uh, Lord Sesshoumaru, why are we here?" Jaken asked.

"Because I decided to come here, and you came with me," Sesshoumaru snapped a bit temperamentally.

"Yes, yes, of course," Jaken said nervously. "Sorry for asking..."

"Shut up, Jaken," Sesshoumaru almost growled. Jaken gulped and snapped his beak shut.

Sesshoumaru surveyed the area once more, absorbing every detail as if trying to memorize it. His gaze softened slightly as he watch the sun slowly grace the skyline, coloring the fields with dark purples in the early dawn.

"One day..." Sesshoumaru whispered to himself, gazing at the fine line of red between the mountains.

"Uh, what?" Jaken asked.

Sesshoumaru turned to glare fiercely at the imp, angry at having his peace and quiet interrupted once again. He stalked over and snatched the staff from Jaken's hands, whacking him upside the head a few times.

"When I tell you to shut up, I mean it," Sesshoumaru growled as he walked past. Jaken apologized profusely, but Sesshoumaru ignored him, only acknowledging his presence by throwing the staff back to him. Jaken sprinted forward to catch it, almost tripping over himself in the process.

The two of them walked in silence for quite a while, stopping at nightfall to catch food. It had been at least a week since either of them had eaten anything. Sesshoumaru ordered Jaken to stay and start camp, and Jaken obediently began a fire with a few nearby branches. Sesshoumaru returned a few minutes later with a deer slung over his shoulder and a few rabbits in his claws, and they set about eating.

"Jaken." Sesshoumaru started quietly as they sat there, having finished thier food a while ago.

"Yes, my Lord?" Jaken looked up in mild surprise, unused to the uncertain tone in Sesshoumaru's voice.

"Do you think it's possible for one demon to live forever?" Sesshoumaru asked as he stared into the flames.

"Uh, of course," Jaken nodded. "I mean, we are immortal, after all. The only way we can die is to be killed off by an enemy, or perhaps falling prey to fierce weather or crippling sickness."

"Sometimes I question my own immortality," Sesshoumaru nearly whispered. "I can't help but think that there's always a chance of death suddenly taking me. I don't have any children, Jaken. If I died, Inuyasha would have to take my place."

Jaken tilted his head in puzzlement, completely baffled by his Lord. Sesshoumaru had never spoken so softly and quietly, and had never even mentioned a fear of death before. The imp was flattered that Sesshoumaru felt at least comfortable enough to talk about such things with him, but he wasn't sure how to respond.

"Well, it's not hard to have children," Jaken finally supplied, speaking before the silence grew awkward.

"I can't simply go and find someone to mate and produce an illegitimate heir," Sesshoumaru scoffed slightly.

Jaken nodded his agreement, unsure if there was really anything he could say.

"One day, I'm going to die," Sesshoumaru whispered. "It's inevitable. And then someone will take my place. Just as the sun rises and falls each day, so will my reign. The sun will set on my time and will rise with another to take my place, and I don't even know if it's going to be my own child or if it's to be my half-brother."

Jaken glanced at Sesshoumaru a bit worriedly, wondering how he had suddenly gotten into such a depressed mood. He'd been fine yesterday, hadn't he? So what was making him so unhappy right now?

"I'm not so sure you'll ever die," Jaken commented thoughtfully after a few long seconds. "After all, you're a very powerful demon, and you do have the Tenseiga. You can't be killed so long as you hold it."

"Even this sword has it's limits," Sesshoumaru said, tapping the hilt of the Tenseiga with one claw. "My Father died while he had it. Apparently, not even a sword of life can sustain immortality," he scoffed.

Jaken frowned, losing his words at that statement. The two of them fell silent then, staring at the small fire in front of them and quietly thinking to themselves. Sesshoumaru finally leaned back and stretched himself out on the cool grass, gazing up at the stars for a few minutes.

"You're guarding tonight," Sesshoumaru finally announced as he slowly began to drift off to sleep. Jaken nodded and watched as Sesshoumaru fell into a doze, then finally a slumber. The imp stood there for a long time, barely noticing when the fire subsided into a smolder, mulling over his thoughts and carefully trying to decipher just what all of it meant.

Sesshoumaru woke at dawn the next day, blinking a few times before standing up and stretching out. He shook himself all over, then looked over at Jaken. The imp had been trying to hide the fact that he was watching, but Sesshoumaru had noticed.

"What, do I have a bug on me or something?" Sesshoumaru asked almost sarcastically.

"Uh, no, of course not," Jaken turned his head apologetically.

Sesshoumaru turned to gaze at the sun for a few minutes, watching it ascend above the hills as the reds seemed to bleed away from the sky. He looked at Jaken again, wondering why the imp looked so pensive all of a sudden.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, why would you choose me as your trusted retainer?" Jaken finally blurted out. "I know that you have many other demons who are more powerful that could help you far better than I!"

Sesshoumaru blinked and stared at Jaken for a few minutes, not expecting such a question.

"Well, you're far older than most of my other allies, and any that are older than you have gone halfway senile."

Jaken tilted his head, not understanding why age was a factor. Sesshoumaru decided to explain.

"You might not be powerful, but you've lived a long life and seen more than even I have. You would understand far more than any other snarling toothy beast that I could pick out."

Jaken nodded and left it at that; it seemed Sesshoumaru didn't want to talk anymore, and he had an answer. There was no need to continue questioning the dog-demon.

"You might even remember my Father," Sesshoumaru added as an afterthought. Jaken glanced over with mild surprise at the softly whispered words. Sesshoumaru held the gaze for a few seconds, an undefinable look crossing his face before he turned to look at the sun again. "What he was like before I was born, I mean."

"He was always a strong ruler," Jaken blurted before thinking. Sesshoumaru didn't seem to mind, however; he simply nodded agreement. Actually, he seemed to take comfort in that statement, Jaken realized.

"He defeated his enemies with ease and even grace, he defended his lands as viciously as a bear protecting its cubs, and he brought a multitude of blessings to his people. Demon and human alike adored him as a ruler. He was kind and compassionate towards his subjects, always sending for supplies after a disaster, never stalling or waiting around-even with villages who could only pay meager tithes. He never hesitated to help his own first, his allies second, and then himself third. He was considerate to the extreme, yet strong and unwavering in battle. He was everything that a ruler should be, and everything that a father should be," Jaken added quietly.

Sesshoumaru slowly looked over at the imp, his golden eyes burning with hidden emotion. He knew that Jaken was only trying to be helpful, but somehow that didn't make him feel any better. He tried to deny it, tried to find a reason to disprove it, but nothing came to mind. His Father had been a great ruler, a powerful defender, a caring teacher and friend and father...

"He was always too clouded by his care for others to see the reality that surrounded him," Sesshoumaru said quietly, not realizing he was speaking out loud. "He wanted to change the entire world, even the gods themselves when he felt they were unfair. He was an anomaly-the epitome of kindness, though he was a demon. One would think that he would be a nightmarish creature at home if all you saw was his battling skills, and then again you would think he were weak and pitiful in battle if you saw him at home. He just didn't seem to fit anywhere, so I guess he made a place for himself and settled into it, and everyone else accepted that. But he wasn't living in reality like everyone else was-he tried to ignore it for so long, going about in his imaginary world as if nothing were happening, as if he wasn't bringing about his own ruin, as if his firstborn son wasn't trying-"

Sesshoumaru snapped his mouth shut, finally coming to the conclusion that Jaken was staring at him because he was in fact speaking out loud. He tried to brush it off, turning to the side as if nothing were the matter.

"I'm sorry, Lord Sesshoumaru," Jaken said.

"For what?" Sesshoumaru scoffed.

"Well, for...what happened so long ago," he tried to explain without making Sesshoumaru mad. "When it was all happening, well, everyone in the lands knew about your father and the human...likewise about how you and your father were constantly fighting...I'm just sorry it turned out that way," Jaken finished softly.

Sesshoumaru blinked a few times, then turned to face the light breeze that was picking up. It ruffled his hair lightly, playing through the strands for a few seconds as if trying to soothe his aching soul. He let the slight wind tousle his silky hair, finding some small comfort in the agreeable weather.

"Let's go, Jaken," Sesshoumaru said, beginning to walk off in the same direction they had been following. Jaken hurriedly ran to catch up, and the two set out on their journey once more.

Jaken didn't say anything, but he thought he could see a similarity between the father and the son. Neither had realized that they were living in an imaginary existence, that was why they denied it. Sesshoumaru's world was one of the past, a fleeting memory and a failing hope that somehow everything between him and his father could be reconciled, forgiven, just passed by and never thought about again. It was all imaginary, it really was...

But he would never say anything. Jaken would never tell him, for it was not his place. The dog-demon would have to figure it out himself, or he would never be able to deal with it. That was just how things were.

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